I've had enough of hosting ungrateful guests.

You poor soul Bitemy.
I've never had to put up with that situation because all our DC are our own. There were times when they were teenagers when I had to shriek at them to get out of bed in the afternoon but this business of being kind and understanding towards difficult step children must be a fairly common problem these days with so many composite families.
Maybe you could have invited yourself into her bedroom to watch the movie?
Hard to hear but if you behave like a doormat you are likely to be treated like one.
Your DP has a role here. He shouldn't allow his offspring to treat you this way.

Me too! Next year DH and I are going off in our campervan. The weekend parents can have all the stress!

You will get into trouble with GNHQ is you continue with your Troll hunting Urnstongran.

00mam00

I wouldn’t bother to cook for them, just send up a packet of crisps later, and if they come down wondering where their dinner is, just say ‘sorry, I thought you’d gone home’.

She won't change until she has to do it herself, preferably for a couple of years, and maybe not even then.
It isn't just the food preparation, its also all the planning, shopping etc. so the least people can do is help on the day itself.
Go on holiday (or just stay home and say that you are not having visitors that day if you can deal with the moans) and relax totally.

I agree with your decision BiteMy, it's no good being treated like a skivvy at Christmas, you should have some appreciation for all the hard work that you have put in.
It would be too awkward to not invite this particular Step daughter next year and still have Christmas at your home and would probably cause a family rift.
If you have the option of being invited to family in the UK, I would definately do that next year.
Shame for the little 9 year old though, perhaps make it up to him another time, by taking him out to some treat which would be age appropriate, only to him.
We had to go abroad for the Christmas holidays every year as we found that we had a constant stream of uninvited guests arriving from my Dh large extended family and people we would only count as acquaintances arriving and staying for hours.
It was quite exhausting and I felt like a skivvy, serving drinks and snacks non -stop.
So it was the Canaries for us, every year.

I think she is disgusting.

Don't ask them again, simple.

I wondered that Urmston. Surely nobody had anyone like that to put up with.I found it hard to believe.

She sounds like a slob and a freeloader to boot. Getting up halfway through the afternoon and then not bothering to get dressed for the occasion?

I wonder what she looks like at work on Dress Down Fridays?

How about going away next Christmas? A nice (small) cottage? Or a hotel?

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And I thought I had problems... certainly put my ‘lazy’ g-children into perspective... not so bad after all x

What a cheek, lazy so and so, I think I would have dragged her out of bed and delegated some jobs for her to do, if your partner isnt willing to do this.
Next year no invitation as you will be miles away, I hope.
Happy New Year to you

What a brat ! There'd have been a few thinly veiled expletives from me if I'd been there Christmas or not. I don't tolerate laziness very well.

It might be something to continue doing so as to show your step grandchildren what a good Christmas can be like. The eldest clearly feels loyal to her mum but the youngest enjoys being with you. It would be a shame to leave her to her lazy mum's behaviour.

I think it's worth doing once more and then try to entice the step grandchildren down with games etc. leaving their mum to wallow on her own.

What a lazy entitled madam your partner’s daughter is.

You’re being ultra civil and composed to hold your tongue. I don’t think I’d be prepared to. It’s a bit disappointing of your partner too to tolerate this ungracious and self centred behaviour from his user of a daughter. She came empty handed too. What a rogue she sounds.

Maybe let your partner see this thread and good on you for alternative plans next year.

Wishing you a joyous new year!

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I'd have left any mess she made, however awful and inconvenient, and told her father to clear it up and I would have left it there no matter how long it took for him to clear it.

I would invite other guest next year so no room for lazy ones. I would invite young child though or what Xmas will he get else? Your step d sounds horrid to just leave her young child to own devices on Xmas day.

You won't change her now; she is in her mid thirties with two children, and her father condones her awful behaviour, so why should she change?
On the plus side, I should think you made Christmas for the nine-year old, because his mother and sister clearly weren't interested.
Is it worth a family row? Your husband is the one who has to take action. Do sympathise, horrid situation.

Bitemytongue Be sure not to bite too hard.
Life is so problematic.
Look on the bright side, at least you didn’t have 4 dogs chasing the cat around the house all day, nearly knocking over the Christmas tree.

@Teetime I will be avoiding it at all costs

@Anja I won't be doing it again next year. It's such a shame that people cannot see how awful their behaviour is.