Gransnet forums

I've had enough of hosting ungrateful guests.

(92 Posts)
Bitemytongue Wed 26-Dec-18 21:27:33

I'm a first time poster but long time lurker on Gransnet. After being a lover of hosting Christmas as home, this year has been the final straw. My partner's daughter is in her mid 30s with a teenager and a 9 Yr old and she acts like a spoilt teen. They came, empty handed on public transport on Christmas eve, moaning as she refused to drive due to not liking driving an unfamiliar route (she has always been driven to our house by someone else) . On Christmas Day, I get up at 7.30 with the step GC to open their presents. She didn't come downstairs until 3pm and even then she hadn't bothered to get dressed. We eat quite late - 4pm, we were in the midst of cooking and she asks her Dad to make her a cup of tea and has a go when he tells her off. She didn't attempt to help to clear up after dinner. Sat on the sofa, mostly on her phone but happy and chatty until I went to bed. They ate late night leftovers and I cleaned up the mess this morning. Boxing Day, spent the day in bed again with her teenage daughter, youngest was downstairs with us. The teenager came down for snacks but they both stayed in bed until we said dinner was ready - 5pm They came down to eat, happy as Larry and they are back upstairs to watch a film. I'm just so over it, I know it's different with step children(adults) but this is just so bad.

oldbatty Wed 26-Dec-18 21:31:48

mmmmm been on the grape juice I think?

Bitemytongue Wed 26-Dec-18 21:34:04

No, barely. She has been awake but prefers lounging in bed! We are not big drinkers,

Cabbie21 Wed 26-Dec-18 21:36:51

What does your partner say?

sodapop Wed 26-Dec-18 21:42:21

Think it would be the last invitation unless there was a change of attitude from your step daughter. You need to have a frank conversation with your husband.

Bitemytongue Wed 26-Dec-18 21:42:23

No much at all. She has always been spoilt by her Dad. He did tell her off but its generally lighthearted and it goes in one ear and out of the other. My daughter is 20 and she was as outraged as me. She was here last year as well and carried on the same way. Her older sister was here and she is completely different.

Bitemytongue Wed 26-Dec-18 21:45:00

I intend to speak to him. Ive always been the one wanting Christmas at home, he would happily go away on holiday and I have always said no. I told him I am not doing it anymore and he said good. I know he does it more for his GC so they have a good Christmas

GrandmaKT Wed 26-Dec-18 21:48:59

I'd say that's absolutely unacceptable behaviour in someone else's house. You've done well not to blow up over it!
It's not worth causing a family fight over, but just never invite them again.

Bitemytongue Wed 26-Dec-18 21:55:58

I would rather bite my tongue (hence the name) because all hell will break loose. I would disinvite them but they invite themselves. So next year I won't be here! And I don't think I'll be unreasonable doing so.

Lynne59 Wed 26-Dec-18 21:58:11

She's in her 30s? She sounds like a petulant teenager. She didn't get up until 3pm - the lazy cow.

If it were me, I'd be on holiday every Christmas.

oldbatty Wed 26-Dec-18 21:58:58

so you made up a name to go alongside your story? Interesting concept.

oldbatty Wed 26-Dec-18 22:00:10

so if I talk about wanting to see my Grandkids more, I would call myself Moreykiddytime?

Bitemytongue Wed 26-Dec-18 22:01:00

Oldbatty. I wanted to post so needed to register. It was obviously on my mind!

Bitemytongue Wed 26-Dec-18 22:03:04

Oldbatty. And Biting my tongue is something that I am learning to do as I get older. I can be quite outspoken, I'm learning to chose my battles

Bitemytongue Wed 26-Dec-18 22:04:46

@lynne59. It looks very likely from now on or I will be visiting family in the UK

Teetime Wed 26-Dec-18 22:11:22

How discourteous I wouldnt have them back again please or offend.

Anja Wed 26-Dec-18 22:32:41

Don’t let her spoil future Christmas days. Just spend it with those you love and invite her on Boxng Day for one night only.

Bitemytongue Wed 26-Dec-18 23:08:01

@Anja I won't be doing it again next year. It's such a shame that people cannot see how awful their behaviour is.

Bitemytongue Wed 26-Dec-18 23:09:09

@Teetime I will be avoiding it at all costs

holdingontometeeth Thu 27-Dec-18 00:47:01

Bitemytongue Be sure not to bite too hard.
Life is so problematic.
Look on the bright side, at least you didn’t have 4 dogs chasing the cat around the house all day, nearly knocking over the Christmas tree.

eazybee Thu 27-Dec-18 09:29:59

You won't change her now; she is in her mid thirties with two children, and her father condones her awful behaviour, so why should she change?
On the plus side, I should think you made Christmas for the nine-year old, because his mother and sister clearly weren't interested.
Is it worth a family row? Your husband is the one who has to take action. Do sympathise, horrid situation.

newnanny Thu 27-Dec-18 10:32:49

I would invite other guest next year so no room for lazy ones. I would invite young child though or what Xmas will he get else? Your step d sounds horrid to just leave her young child to own devices on Xmas day.

GabriellaG54 Thu 27-Dec-18 10:35:26

I'd have left any mess she made, however awful and inconvenient, and told her father to clear it up and I would have left it there no matter how long it took for him to clear it.

Urmstongran Thu 27-Dec-18 10:38:14

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

JS06 Thu 27-Dec-18 10:41:09

What a lazy entitled madam your partner’s daughter is.

You’re being ultra civil and composed to hold your tongue. I don’t think I’d be prepared to. It’s a bit disappointing of your partner too to tolerate this ungracious and self centred behaviour from his user of a daughter. She came empty handed too. What a rogue she sounds.

Maybe let your partner see this thread and good on you for alternative plans next year.

Wishing you a joyous new year!