To feel a tiny bit miffed?

I have had similar things happen to me. I used to do a lot of cross stitch and a work colleague asked me if I would make a cross stitch picture for her sisters daughter. I did a few designs, she chose her favourite and covered the cost of the basic materials. She was very happy with the result and offered additional payment, which I declined because she was a friend and also because I had materials left over which I would use on other things. She did however give me a nice tube of hand cream, which was a lovely gesture.

Contrast that really nice experience with the time that a friend asked if I would make some cup cakes for his wedding (50 guests) which was to be held in Scotland. I made double the number in case any didn't make the car journey, I baked them the night before for freshness (last batch went in the oven at 4am) and I was frosting up until 6am. On handover day, I met my friend in a supermarket carpark, whereupon he simply put them in the car boot without looking at them, said "Thanks" and drove off. No offer of payment of even the cost of ingredients. The only good thing that came out of this, was that I finally got an answer to the question of whether I wanted to open my own cupcake business. I decided against it!!!

People often think that it is cheap to craft and on top of that, if you are a friend you will happily provide a crafted item for free or very cheaply. You were, I'm sad to say Telly, totally taken advantage of. I do hope it hasn't put you off crafting.

galofi, I get it - you want your GC's parents to value you rather than just cut down on the hours of child-minding.

There's no way to force that to happen, tho, so the least you can do is make them aware that you can't be quite so available any more.
Maybe say no more than once a week, or whatever suits you.

You are absolutely not worthless, whether they see it or not.

Ive been taken a couple of times quite badly over the years but no more. Sadly these people are the kind that would rob their grandmas for a penny, but they won't be robbing me.
If you're a kind person, you wouldn't dream of doing it but if you're a ruthless self serving 'individual' for want of a better euphemism, it's second nature.
We all need to 'stiffen up' or the grasping shall inherit the earth not the meek.

maybe next time. say costs have gone up could you contribute as its for your friend not mine.. i am not willing to pay for your gifts to a third party.. harsh..?? not really....she used you to get a good gift for a third party.you could always make cards/gifts for a charity. then when friend asks for another give her a selection with the prices attached.blooming cheek !!!

galofi
Now get those thoughts right out of your head. [grin
You are not valuing yourself at the moment so as long as you carry on giving in and giving up, it will continue.
Next time you're asked to babysit, say that you have a previous engagement that you can't alter, or, that you feel tired lately and need to spoil yourself. Children do give joy but can also exhaust you.
Don't enlarge on the reasons. I doubt very much whether they can't get any other babysitter and, if it's true, they will simply have to adjust their plans.
After all, he knows your time doesn't cost him any money.
We all love our GC but they are not a bargaining tool for parents to use when they want you to babysit.
Be brave. You can do it. Now make a cuppa or have a small g&t and sleep well.

Yes me too jennil23 had similar experience only knit for pleasure and give to those who really appreciate my hard work. I like to give gifts and always know that they are being gratefully received. Lesson learned.

I have come to the conclusion I am just free child minder rather than a grandmother to my two grandsons. I am NEVER included in "family" events but as soon as they require a baby sitter it is me they call. They lie about not having anyone else so that I will feel obligated to say yes. I love having my grandsons bit ut is now becoming a given that I will always have them. I didn't even get to see them Christmas day because my DIL didn't see why I needed to see them & it would have made them late for dinner at her parents house. I just feel worthless atm ?

I have a beautiful handmade patchwork bedspread which I once won in a raffle at a church Christmas craft fair. It washes well. It’s in greens and reds so always ends up on a sofa over Christmas. I still go occasionally to events at that Church, and the committee ladies always remember that I won it, and make sure I know how lucky I was. I know!

I prefer 'bedspreads' that can be washed.
I occasionally use a white one, French 19c, bought from an eBay seller in France. Thick cotton with scalloped edges and drawn threadwork. Very beautiful but I prefer bedlinen I can easily launder or have laundered without costing an arm and a leg.

I’m knitting a patterned bedspread and by the time I’ve finished, the cotton yarn will have cost over £200.

Mogsmaw Even £200 is a bargain price for something so beautiful. It must have taken many, many hours to knit, and good wool is so expensive now.

I sopose this is the opposite, my sister knits the most beautiful fine Shetland lace shawls. She knits them because she loves knitting them, not for the shawls.
My store manager wanted a replacement for a family airloom shaw that had been “loved to death” I said I’d ask my sister, she quoted £150 hoping this would put her off, she agreed!
My sister produced the most beautiful, gossamer, light, enormous shawl I have ever seen.
Manager handed over £200 and was absolutely delighted, she obviously knew craftsmanship and knew it’s value. As we knitters say, somepeople are knit worthy, some are not!

I gave up doing therapies as eyeryone wanted a free massage or reflexilogy. I rarely got paid i was once given a bottle of horrid wine and once given a bottle of hand cream so now i do massage for friends and family for free but no one else. I paid thousands over 3 years for my certificates.

Many years ago my siblings in Law asked my to get my cousin (a florist) to provide a family tribute for a family (in laws) funeral. I did ask as requested and was landed with a bill of over £60.00. No one offered a donation towards it. When the next in laws funeral came up I was again asked to organize the flowers. I politely explained that I would prefer people to arrange their own floral tributes as the last time I had been left with a bill far higher than I would have paid for a personal tribute and that I could not risk that happening again. there was no offer to repay for the original debt but a clear understanding that I would not put myself in that position again.

paddyann
I am at them throwing away the cake you made.
Brandy fed fruit cake is nectar of the gods.

Many years ago now my dear Sister-in-law asked me to make the dresses for my DD's to be bridesmaids at her wedding. She paid for the material and then I received a cheque , with note saying that it was from 'The Wedding Committee' in appreciation of my efforts. I still have the letter.

What a thoughtless 'friend'. Send her a bill for the materials and your time.

What seems to be demeaned is all of our good skills, these have a value, these and ourselves are being devalued. What we make we put ourselves and often love into. Making a papier-mâché Dodo which probably took days, for myself, a friend commented that her sister would love it because she was known to the family as Dodo. I ignored the comment, this friend does nothing creative not even cook, they can not perceive what we can. So no freebies anyone please, only as a gift for who we love and will love what we make. An old old expression was "never trust a woman who neither knits or sews". When I asked why apparently they are restless and not content - I think it may be applied to all of our creating, those of us who do. Say an amount upfront or barter, if you cut my lawn and weed the borders I will do the cake, for shellac nails will, marzipan the tiers, for full drama icing how about inside and out car valet? Any more ideas?

I knitted my BIL a scarf for his birthday. It was a cabled scarf and I felt pleased how it turned out. He never thanked me at all. I find that hard to understand being of a generation where you always thank people for gifts.

I read that you should charge 3 times what an item costs to make,just a thought for the future.

I hope your friend will pay you for the item that she ordered It's early days yet.

I didn't ask for payment but it would have been nice if the Bride or her mum had said thanks for all your effort and time ,and to then tell me she had binned a lot of the cake really annoyed me .Surely if they didn't want to eat it she could have passed the extra tiers onto an old folks home or the hospital .

Not really the same, but about payment when a friend of mine and myself go to a special occasion with former work friends, she usually drives, she wont take money for the petrol but I either buy something in advance to leave in the car for her, or invite her to lunch instead, it seems fairer that way,and we have a good cha ttoo.

If you haven't replied yet tothe email you could reply & say something along the lines of 'I hope you don't feel £x is unreasonable for a bespoke request' - or 'the coffees are on you", or something and leave it at that. If nothing forthcoming just chalk it up to experience.

Have I misunderstood you, OP? Reading your post, I thought it was the "thank you" sent as an e-mail that miffed you, not the fact that your friend didn't offer to pay.

If I understood you rightly, yes, IMO, you are unreasonable if you expected the recipient to thank you by letter and pay postage, when e-mails are free and much more reliable than the post.

If it was your time and effort you expected to be thanked for, then perhaps you should mention it to the friend who asked you to make the thing. She probably thought she was doing you a favour, as many people run out of people to give the things they make to.