Double standard FIL

People are allowed to make unwise decisions under safeguarding and unfortunately all a safeguarding referral will check is whether the decision is his. Not whether it is exploitative or not.

Age UK are prob the best to advise

I give an opinion but advice has to be from a professional used to and knows how to dealt with what you have presented. Opinion is that your FIL , even if of sound mind is he/ isn't he ? has been duped some one /thing has control over him which he accepts! hence the' mess' he is in. A persons state of mind can only come from a professional and Age Concern need to be contacted who will guide you.

I'm a gran of from 7 to 20 year olds and my Dear old Dad died a year ago aged 92.
Can I also say that I think that this poster is genuine and looking for advise for a very upsetting problem.

I would have thought of all places gransnet wouldnt assume that all grans are decrepit little old ladies in shawls. Plenty have adult children AND aging parents.

My MILs parents only died recently and Im old enough to be a gran myself! (But am not as had my children later than my peers). I know another gran whose parent only died this year.

Its not uncommon for a gran to have a FIL.

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dont give him anymore money and get other half to sort it!

Never mind the Police !
Get the Infiltration Squad involved!

There are organisations, including police, trading standards etc who investigate scams.
As a caring relative I would have made a formal report or complaint to an appropriate authority. I would also have put in writing my concerns to my FiL and copied to the rest of the family,the lodger and the police. I would also make use of a 30minute free consultation with a lawyer to see how to protect FiL.

Your focus is entirely wrong

It’s not him you need to shake. It’s be daft family lending him “thousands”

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All I can say is, your FiL needs to be assessed. No-one in their right mind would think that paying an import licence for a pallet-load of cash, was in any way a sane thing to do, OR believable.
I wonder how old he is and what is the background of his 'lodger'.
Remortgaging his home? Taking out loans? At what age? One would think that the bank would become suspicious about him sending money via Western Union which would show on his account or indeed, withdrawing large amounts of cash.
No...sounds like a leg pull but in any case it's his money...let him waste it.
No fool like an old fool.

My advice would be to speak to the Police about this. I don’t know his bank would deal with you. These scams are all too frequent and if you’ve subsided him you also are losing money. It needs investigation.

Cannot think why you suspect that icanhandthemback. If you are concerned let GN know and they will investigate.

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Age UK may be able to offer you advice on this?

Its hard but I know from when family members of mine have been (to a lesser extent) involved in scams, it is counter productive to try to talk them out of it, it just makes them dig their heels in more.

A lot of these scams groom the victims to see relative objecting as "proof" they are doing the right thing.

One told my relative that younger relatives will object because they just want to protect their inheritance, and if they do that just proves that they dont care and proves that you SHOULD invest for YOU.
Wasnt the case at all we just didnt want them to be "had" but due to them being primed to hear us object with the company telling them that it would prove we didnt care about them & just wanted the house we knew we had to tread carefully so encouraged them to talk to 3rd parties instead.

Another bright man with no common sense driven by greed. My poor aunt suffered a husband just like him. She didn't find out he hadn't been paying the rent for several months until the landlord knocked the door threatening eviction!! She finally saw sense and kicked him out. He is still living in cloud cuckoo land, adamant this money is coming.
He once offered me an 'opportunity ' into this 'business '. I allowed him to explain it, he was extremely enthusiastic. At the end of his speech I told him I wouldn't ever be part of a pyramid scheme. He wasn't happy. According to him it isn't a pyramid scheme. There is no other name for it.
If you feel your FIL is vulnerable and this 3rd party is taking advantage get some legal advice. But if he has all his faculties I'm unsure what can be done. Good luck, you have my sympathies ?

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@holdingontometeeth Op has a problem and looking for advice (as well as highlighting the issue, so others are not drawn in) so if you can’t say anything useful or nice why don’t you just*SHUT UP* instead of being plain nasty.

You are doing more harm than good in my opinion.
What or where will he go when you and others are no longer here to help?
I think you soon all do a gradual withdrawal for “helping him”.
Unless you have money to throw away

Can you contact the local police officer? Or trading standards? People of all ages get scammed. Nowt to do with dementure.

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If you suspect a scam I would report it to the police
Also stop providing food, money and other support as you are making it seem real to him and losing money too
If you keep doing what you have been doing expecting a different outcome it won’t change anything