I was just reading the thread about looking after gc and the fact that a lot of people seemed to be not only bearing the physical cost of the gc but increasingly the financial cost too.
Do you find this is a new phenomenon or is it something that always went ondo you think?
From my perspective I never thought of my parents let alone my gp’s as a cash cow and only ever received money towards my wedding (which I was very grateful for but budgeted the day on mine and h’s financial abilities).
When the children were born we only had them when we could afford to and considered our health (I was ill after all three) and capability (h has a long term disability) before we went ahead.
Whilst we were only too happy for the gp’s to babysit we were well aware one set worked full time and the others were quite old. So we wouldn’t have dreamed of imposing.
As for them paying out for day to day things-No that was down to us!
Does anyone think the relationship between the generations has deteriorated in recent times? How do and why do you think?
Could it be linked to a better financial standard for pensioners today? My mum always gave me a bag of coal or a cake to take to my gran, so I grew up with an awareness of her situation. Nowadays it’s the reverse. I’m more likely to hand cash to my kids and gc saying ‘you can always make use of it”
The press seems to revel in anti pensioner stories...(stagnating housing market, drain on nhs, too politically powerful as a group, now over feeding gc to cause obesity!!)
All of this negativity feeds into our relationships I think.
I’ve even heard one of my nearest and dearest commenting that a pensioner looks incongruous driving a new car! As if somehow they don’t deserve it.
Sorry to waffle on, but Have you felt the.effects of the generational divide?
I agree! Many of my DDs contemporaries say to me, in the playground, how they wished their families were closer and able to offer more support. I reply that it is 'swings & roundabouts'! My DGC have a close relationship with us but is is 'everyday,' whereas the grandparents who live at a distance are seen as very special and a big treat!
GN does I think make the amount of GPs doing childcare feel inflated because this is a place where GPs who do discuss it.
Its not uncommon but its also not the norm. In my DDs classes there were maybe 2 kids in each class whose GPs regularly did the school runs. The others either went to wrap around paid care or were dropped/collected by parents or sometimes older siblings.
So whilst not unusual its also not "the norm" it can seem like from reading GN.
My parents did childcare for me, bought me a twintub washing machine when I had DD1 and took us on holidays, bought lovely treats for my children. If they had had the funds to give us more they would have done. It is how our family sees family! I hope my brothers and I are passing that attitude forward.
Yes I do think "pensioners are perceived differently)for instance, we are all pushed into thinking/looking younger etc.In the big scheme of things we arn't!We are expected to be so different than our parents were.I did not expect my parents to help/pay/look after my two children.So ok mum would say "do they need anything this week?" Ok you buy one vest(or whatever,I'll buy the second one"At Christmas she would split her club money at the butchers with me.I thought it was wonderful!Otherwise you got on with it!(and I was an only child)I admit I buy an awful lot for my only grandaughter when I see she needs something,but thats my choice,and can afford it. Perhaps I am being a bit soft,but hopefully not being taken forgranted.We all feel we want to give our children more than we had surely? or perhaps we are wrong?
Lilyflower my bank sent me a "special offer" of about 1% on savings LOL
Hardly worth it.
The one thing that no on in this young/old debate does not take into account is that, whatever things look like now, it will be different by the time the young have, themselves, aged.
I used to do forward financial projections in the eighties when we were paying 14 percent on our mortgage. I used work out what interest we could have on our savings ( if we had any) at the, then, rate of five per cent.
Five per cent! Seems crazy now.
I could not have foreseen the Internet, mobile phones, social media, the financial crash or any of the delights we have had.
Many young people today mistakenly think they don't have options or they give up too easily.
They are not mistaken. They DO NOT have the options I had at their age.
They cannot chose to work full time at 16. They have to remain "in education" until 19, They cannot get a free 3rd level education etc. They DO NOT have the options and the headstarts my generation had. Thats not a matter of opinion..
A generation of apathetic youth who accept the status quo is not good for any of us!
nonatan2,
Perhaps we just have a different perspective on the same issue. My grandson is about to turn sixteen. He works in a local Bake shop for two hours after school as well as Saturday mornings. My D and SIL insist that a good part of the money he earns be put into savings. Since he started working (almost three months now), he's matured and his grades have actually improved.
It is not down to young people having the wrong attitude, they do not have the OPTIONS I had at their age and they are RIGHT to be disgruntled about it.
Many young people today mistakenly think they don't have options or they give up too easily. One thing I do know for sure....Being disgruntled is something that employers, educators, law enforcement personnel and people in general don't respond to positively. 'Disgruntled' is precisely the WRONG attitude to have if you want to succeed in life.
People want to buy because:
-The average mortgage costs MUCH less than the average rent per month round here.
-You don't have to move again until YOU want to
-You can make it your own, hang your children's pictures on the wall etc.
When DH and I bought our first home we went picture hook MAD. We hung so many photos. Because previously we couldn't hang any. (We later took them all down and filled in the holes and went for a more tasteful display 
). It felt like "home" .
The running costs of owning are a pain but often you can put jobs off for a bit and prioritise them. Its not as bad as finding another deposit and moving costs every 6-12 months.
nonnie you post came across as slightly smug. That maybe not your intention but it is how I felt it.
It is easy from a reasonably comfy place to think others are just a bit lacking in common sense and that if it was oneself in that situation you would manage so much better! Maybe you or I would. Life has not always been easy but I have never ( yet) been rock bottom. So easy to be wise when you are not actually in the situation. I do it too!
I think people recognise that paying 800 pounds or so every month is simply lining someone else's pockets.
A lot of the landlords are people trying to profit, with little regard for their tenants.
Renting is the norm on the continent. Again, we have a generation who feel they should own property. Why?
They dont they just want a secure home they can take pride in and feel settled in.
You cannot compare the secure tenants of the continent to the awful rental system here
No PECS please don't interpret what I say. The windows comment was in regard to a comment about needing ventilation and nothing more.
There will always be people who can't afford what others can but there are also people who moan because they can't have what others have and seem to think they have a right to things. Does everyone really need a huge television? I suspect they do because we so often see things like a message on a phone which we are expected to read. Some months back I saw a girl on the news who said "why shouldn't I have the luxuries just because I'm on benefits?". She was standing in front of a big fridge freezer, which the programme later said had been repossessed because she couldn't keep up the payments. As someone upthread has said, growing up can be difficult.
We give a lot away on Freegle because we think it is terrible for the environment to throw away half empty tins of paint etc. We give unwanted furniture to family or a local charity which sells them. I don't understand why people take perfectly good things to the tip.
I agree PECS and one of the main causes of homelessness is the right landlords have to raise rents as and when they wish. So they will often suddenly ask for far more than the tenant budgetted for when they took on the tenancy. The tenant then stops paying and the landlord evicts them. If they are a family they become the responsibility of the local council and cost a fortune in B&B accommodation if they are single they are on the street.
Day6 I believe that renting arrangements in other places are often better managed in terms of tenancy rights. I have German friends who rent a house. They have been there since the 70s but their lease arrangement was for years! They raised their children there. It is their home. So they have felt settled and secure, invested in the property re decor, garden etc. Currently in the UK most rentals appear to have comparitively short leases so little feeling of security or settled home.
Same for furniture, if you accommodation is temporary then so must your furniture be. I have heavy older repairable solid furniture because I don't rent
Other side of the coin.
I don't rent so I have to pay for my roof to be repaired when it leaks, my boiler to be replaced when it becomes dangerous, my carpets to be replaced when they become threadbare, my fences to be mended when they blow over, my bricks and mortar insurance to be paid. I ensure my grass is cut, my windows painted, my front door and step kept clean, my double glazing replaced when the seals aren't so good, my walls decorated when they become tired looking, my furniture replaced when it breaks....I could go on. It costs a fortune to own a house - they are money pits.
Renting is the norm on the continent. Again, we have a generation who feel they should own property. Why?
Perhaps the tide has to turn and renting should become affordable once more and more social housing should be available. Do not blame older people for home ownership when many who bought years ago had mortgages of 16%, always offered with crippling conditions. Two adults had to work then to afford the crippling repayments and they lived on battered furniture and second hand everything. They had no holidays or luxuries like cars and meals out.
Our generation did not comfortably and easily get into house ownership and they made huge sacrifices and felt the pinch too.
Times change. Young people have to be extremely prudent and thrifty too to afford homes. Many unfortunately whine that it's too difficult. Hardship was not the norm for many growing up. Being adult comes as a shock, especially when it involves going without and giving up things most of the older generation consider luxuries and not necessities.
Again, life is different now, but for most of us, going from childhood to the burdens of adulthood saw us struggling. It's not a new phenomenon.
"notanan2" you are just determined to stir it. Personally I think you are a pain in the butt but who am I to pontificate - unlike you?
We are all free to spend our legally earned income on any legal activity. However we all know that some things that are legal are not always beneficial and can have a negative impact for others, the environment etc etc. We are all probably 'guilty' to some degree or another. However once we have knowledge of the harm we may be doing /contributing to then we have a moral choice to make! Life is not always easy or straightforward!
You made how you spend your money other peoples problem. You don't get to tell us its not our business, its everybody's business if those are the kinds of things you chose to do.
This might interest anyone who thinks crusing is fun!
foe.org/cruise-report-card/
They can object as much as they like, if it's not illegal, they can't do anything about it.
I really enjoyed my last cruise to Japan, Taiwan, and Shaghai. Lovely.
You said that nothing is anyone else's business unless its illegal and that's not the case. If people make choices that affect others they can't stop others from objecting.
What have I done Notanan that affects you? Pray tell me, otherwise you can be quiet about it.
Nonnie Well trisher once again you know different sorts of people to me
I certainly don't decide that anyone has a 'narrow circle of friends
Isn't this contradictory?
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