to not discuss psychology appointments

Well done, muffin, for going for therapy. I'm sure you'll find it very helpful. It's good to talk to someone who is 100% there for you alone.
I don't think you should tell your mother anything that goes on in your sessions. If you give her an inch she'll want a mile. Your psychologist will help you work out how to speak to her. My counsellor has helped me with dealing with difficult people and situations.
Best wishes

This sound like a Narcissistic reaction and it is very difficult to deal with as they are never wrong and you can never be right.

You may have to brave the wrath of the first time you tell her your psychologist has asked you to keep everything said in counselling, to yourself.

She won't like it, she's used to controlling but you know that. that's her fuel.

After that, it's just a matter of sticking to your explanation, 'Mum, I told you, it's confidential.'

If she asks why you've already discussed it with her, say you are now getting into more private stuff. And leave it at that.

I'm currently dealing with a narcissist and it's NOT easy.

It is your absolute right to keep your sessions between you and your therapist.

Hopefully your therapy will help you build a more confident and assertive you so you can leave your mother’s controlling nature in the past; where it belongs. Wishing you all the best. ?

No, of courses you aren’t being unreasonable. There are some sensible suggestions here. In your shoes I would simply say calmly that it is inappropriate to share anything as it can disrupt the work - which is true. If she persists yes, ask your psychologist to explore options with you. In fact why not talk the issue over with your psychologist now? Please don’t make up anything, that’s a dangerous path. Hang on in there. You’ve been courageous in seeking psychological input, it would be such a shame if you let your Mum interfere. Wishing you a peaceful future.

My suggestion is to say nothing at all, when she queries this, repeat that the topic is not open to discussion , change the subject, do not be drawn into having to explain yourself self , your choices or your actions.( Don’t give an inch or else a yard will be taken ) You will not be being rude, she will be the rude person by not respecting your choices & decsions, best wishes.

This sort of information is, supposed to be, confidential-----even to family.

Do not tell your mother, if you do she could dismiss the facts as your imagination and this could affect your therapy.

Just be blunt with your mother. Tell her you do not wish to discuss it with her , it's between you and your therapist . Being totally honest is the best policy and then you have no reason to stress about it you have upset her, or if you have remembered correctly what you said .

My mother always totally denied everything. It was as if she lived in a completely different house to us. Maybe your mum wants to know what's being said so she can get her excuses /reasons in order.
Do not allow her to control you by forcing you to tell her .say the same words each and every time she asks ..."I do not want to discuss it ! "

Tell your mother that your psychologist has asked you not to discuss your sessions with people.

If your mother absolutely won't stop asking, why not tell her some bland harmless thing to satisfy her curiosity? If she gets a few harmless titbits, she may stop asking. You could even make up something harmless to keep her quiet.

Mention your mother's questions to your psychologist. I am sure she will say you shouldn't discuss this with your mother (if you don't want to) and you can then truthfully tell your mother that.

Absolutely you don't have to tell her what goes on in your confidential consultations.

But I can understand why your mother could be anxious about them. If you have had past difficulties in your childhood upbringing, she is probably terrified that your psychologist may suggest that she is to blame for your current condition, and that it might be better that you cut contact. I think any difficulties with MiL are just being used as a red herring.

Perhaps you could just say your psychologist has forbidden you to discuss any matters outside the consulting room. Practice being firm in the mirror if it helps. 'Sorry Mum, you know I can't talk about that, tell me about your day?'

I think you do need to decide where you want to go with this, you obviously blame your mother for mistakes she made in the past, do you want to cut contact? If that is not your intention, then every time she rings, reassure her you will not cut her off. But if you do feel so angry you need a break, then you might want to discuss with your psychologist how you are going to handle managing that.

I do hope your therapy helps you get to a better place.

muffinthemoo, what a hard row you have to hoe, I am amazed you are as grounded and as sane as your are.

I think you are absolutely right not to make up lies about your MiL. That is a very sure route to disaster. With due respect I think your mother might act on what you said and approach your MiL about them - then what would happen? It doesn't bear thinking about. How would your DH feel to know you had traduced his mother, to placate your mother?

I am in absolute agreement that neither should you confide in your mother. Based on what you have written about her, it would be the equivalent of giving her ammunition for her gun so that she could shoot you.

Could you talk about the integrity of psychological treatment and that part of the therapy, is that it should not be discussed outside the consulting room, otherwise the treatment will be compromised? You could emphasis how the psychologist has impressed on you that this non-communication is an essential part of the treatment. So sadly you can tell her nothing

Another approach could be to just tell her that you have every right to keep secrets from her. You always have and always will. Would that take the wind out of her sails, at least temporarily?

What you do know is that our pseudonyms give us anonymity on GN and you will always have a sympathetic readers on GN, who may not have your problems but may be able to suggest possible strategies.

I'd say I'm so wiped out by going through everything with the psychologist that I couldn't possibly face going over it again with anyone else.

Tell her your psychologist has told you not to discuss issues you're working through with anyone else, as it may hamper your treatment.