Baby sitting

This is teaching grand mother to suck eggs, but your neighbour might not it all truth be considered a responsible adult. Especially in case of emergency. Back to the drawing board. A child’s well being, and your peace of mind depends on you being there.

Sites you can try for babysitting .
Are childcareuk sitters gumtree.
You could also ask facetoface other agencies staff as these will be dab checked .
Have you though of doing nights or sleep in .
Working in home with people mental disability .
Less lifting and you can out about in day time . Or night it is just cleaning.
Also check out colleges who do child care course they are offen looking for placement .
Look on tge child care section of mums net as there are things like au pair live out au pair . Mothers help.

I don't leave my 15 year old teenage granddaughter on her own, for more than 1/2 hour.
How does she get on going to and from school crazyh? Does she never go out on her own? Are you worried that she might be irresponsible?

I used to leave my 15 year old in charge of two siblings whilst I was at work (admittedly mornings only then).
I spent summer holidays when I was just 16 being paid as an 'au pair' for younger children.

There is someone local to us who provides care for the elderly in their own home. She mainly cooks, provides personal care and perhaps takes them out for lunch or shopping, ironing etc. Might be worthwhile finding out if there is a call for this in your area? Local FB page etc? She is self employed so works the hours and days that suit. Just an idea?

I don’t think it was deliberate she sounds to be failing in health I would not involve her in caring for your grandchild trying to sort out your job is hard but talk to colleagues there might be someone to help

If you don't know any teenagers (for I think that would be the best way forward for you), then consider contacting your local college and asking if any of the childcare students would be interested in some ad hoc work to earn a bit of pocket money.

It's a sad situation you find yourself in, and I'm disappointed for you to hear how unsupportive you son's school has been.

I felt sad for your grandson, having to spend the whole evening on his own (not pointing fingers at you in any way - you put what you thought was an appropriate arrangement in place)

I hope you can find a solution that works for you.

Jalima, what I meant was when she is under my 'watch'. For instance, when her mum is at work, I pick gd from school, give her tea and after that she watches tv. While she's watching tv. I might pop down to the local shop.
No, I don't like leaving her alone in the house for too long......there are lots of strange folk walking around and I worry that if they come to know that she is on her own, who knows what might happen. Perhaps I suffer from anxiety ?

On decond thoughts, I'd just be a bit wary of teens or students unless you feel totally confident about their behaviour.
It's possible some may post about their 'sitting' for you, on Facebook or Twitter and/or invite a friend, male or female when your GS goes to bed.
I'm sure you're a very savvy lady but do take every precaution. Nice people sometimes do mad or bad stuff.

crazyH
If you don't like leaving your GD why don't you take her to the shop with you on the way home from school or shop earlier in the day?

MissA. Could any of us help you? I am in Berkshire and would be happy to help and watch your grandson if within 45 min drive.

Miss A when mine were 11 and 13 they (understandably ) didn't want to go to their child minder or to after school/school holiday clubs. I asked our church youth group if they could recommend a sitter. we met a 17 - 18 year old who was doing A level at the school ours went to. She started by coming in the evening if we were working late, and it progressed to her spending the six week holidays with our girls. She's no in her 40's, our girls are in their 30's and they're all firm friends. A very lucky outcome.
Could you do something similar?

there are lots of strange folk walking around
Oh dear, sorry crazyh.
Sorry, living in a country district may lull me into a sense of security.

I do know that we can be more anxious about our grandchildren than our children; it is that sense of responsibility.

However, I don't think that it does them any good to be too nervous about 'what could happen' although I think they do need to be made aware.

Look on the childcare.costs. UK website they have lists of childminders and babysitters. Some registered childminders will do babysitting and are great with kids of all ages. Also there are local fb and your local "next door" sites which I find in my area realky useful Hope you manage to sort something.

Miss A spoke to some Mums and Grans “my side” they all said after school clubs, but no suggestions for up to 10pm other than maybe approaching our big sixth form college (hope you can guess the one I mean if not pm me) it has a nursery nurse/childcare course and maybe could help.

Please consider going to see your doctor and explaining the stress you are under. Surely our benefits system was created for situations such as yours? Then perhaps you could speak to C.A.B. and ask for help. They should be able to signpost you to the right agencies to help. It seems outrageous that you should be put under pressure to work when your grandson needs security and stability and you both need time to heal from the death of your daughter. I wish you the very best for you both ,

Your gs was fine , you are overreacting

So very sorry you have lost your daughter....and I feel so sad for that little boy having to go through all that..I can completely understand why you don't want him sitting on his own till late evening..some good suggestions on here and I really hope things work out for you both..?

I am do sorry about the loss if your daughter and think you are in a difficult position. Your grandson must be feeling lovely and upset. His mother dying, his father and brother miles away, I would not want him coming home to an empty flat, I think from a legal point of view , he's too young to be doing that, but he needs TLC not a neighbour who isn't bothered, he is not her responsibility, also not some unknown person who could turn out to be unsuitable, you would have to pay them probably more than you earn, Is there no way you can stop working for awhilenwhen you say you will work as a dinner lady that's very little money . Working for an Agency for a couple of years you could fit in with him as he's the priority. Where I live they are crying out for Carers. I know how difficult it is juggling child care first hand, but his well being comes first as you know.

If there is a nearby college with a childcare course there may be students who would do some evening/ afterschool care..but it would cost. Does his school have a home- link worker? If so make an appointment and discuss the situation with them .They often have
good contacts & could put you in touch with a person/ organisation that might help out with child care.

Does your gs father have no input? does he visit him as i know you said the brother is living with him sad to split up brothers esp at this terrible time

Yes he’s not just an 8 year old he is a bereaved 8 year old. Be there all you can .. definitely check out NI contributions for you looking after him. Time flies and we don’t get it back. I wish there was a fund to help you I could contribute to. Dinner lady times would be excellent. For a year or two your greatest job is to be a stable presence. Build his trust and dependence on others he has already lost so much. Stand your ground demand your rights as the chief carer and make others work round you and your grandson.

Going to work isn't my choice.
I don't feel up to it, but the dept of work decided in its wisdom that I must.
I failed the medical they sent me on as I wasn't 'rocking' or 'shaking' during the interview, had travelled to the medical on my own, and can get in and out of my bath ok.
None of this is my choice.
They wrote to my doctor asking him to 'support' me by not giving me any more sick certificates.
It isn't my choice at all, but I haven't had the luxury of being able to grieve my daughters death.

All that happens is I try to comply with what is expected of me, burying all the feelings down, and then when I hit a problem it sends me back down into misery.
I thought I had it cracked.
3 shifts a week, as and when, for an agency, a babysitter on tap who knows my grandson, and the dwp off my back.

Thanks to all for your lovely messages, here and private messages.
It does help so much.

Good to hear from you Miss Adventure and hope things improve for you and your grandson now. Sending ? and ? Take care.