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AIBU

the man upstairs

(119 Posts)
b1zzle Tue 22-Jan-19 12:09:20

Ever since I have lived in the ground floor flat of an old house ( few months) the last sound I hear at night is the gentleman in the flat above me peeing. Ditto on waking up. It sounds like a horse relieving itself! He's late 60s or early 70s and everything he does is loud: talks on the phone (I can hear every word); moves furniture round (all the time) and stomps rather than walks. I've tried moving my bed round the bedroom but there's no escaping the noise of either his bathroom antics; stamping feet or marathon telephone shouting. Should I be brave and try to talk to him?

DoraMarr Wed 23-Jan-19 17:48:38

Humptydumpty I’m on the fifth floor in a ten year old apartment and I have wooden flooring. I can’t hear any noise from the flat above, and the people below me can’t hear anything from my flat either. It all depends on the insulation. I think it would be very embarrassing to approach this poor gentleman about his bathroom noise, he is not being deliberately antisocial. Just put some music on and try not to get worked up about it. I used to live near a railway line and soon got used to the sound of trains. I wonder what he can hear from your flat?

fionajk42 Wed 23-Jan-19 17:39:13

When I lived in Switzerland we had to comply with many strange byelaws, one of which was "after 10pm gentlemen must urinate sitting down". Sounds like the Swiss had the right idea.

Magicmaggie Wed 23-Jan-19 16:54:48

Wilygran
Are these Bose Sleepbuds that you use to drown out
the noise from neighbour above you?
I had to buy these after an new noisy neighbour moved
into the flat above ours, he always had the tv on till late, and as our bedroom was below his sitting room I really
struggled to get to sleep.
They really have helped and I can choose the different sounds to drown out his noise.

fluttERBY123 Wed 23-Jan-19 16:39:17

If they pee down the china at the lowest level noise is vastly reduced. They are v difficult to train though, I have been trying unsuccessfully with DH for 52 years.

humptydumpty Wed 23-Jan-19 16:32:26

It's very interesting how sound travels - I can hear people upstairs but nothing from the adjacent griound-floor flat.

I believe with new builds there is a clause in the lease that forbids wooden flooring higher than ground floor.

humptydumpty Wed 23-Jan-19 16:22:48

nankate ditto!

Bekind Wed 23-Jan-19 16:15:03

My daughter swears by sound machines!

monkeebeat Wed 23-Jan-19 15:45:18

Many men can be heard pee-ing - suspect its to do with height of fall of urine stream!
To the men whom we can discuss this with I suggest trying-
Closure of bathroom door.
Placing toilet paper in toilet pre either type of elimination.
Ideally - aim at the back of the pan.
Hopefully they will feel ‘flushed’ with duccess st reducing THAT type of noise, anyway.

Maggiemaybe Wed 23-Jan-19 15:35:55

Not that I'm complaining, by the way! grin

Maggiemaybe Wed 23-Jan-19 15:34:42

Sure you're not going deaf MissA?

I'm starting to wonder about that myself with our new neighbours. A lovely young couple who are out at work all day, but we never, ever hear them when they're in. I have no idea how they do it. Our last neighbours were fine, but we did hear normal sounds of life occasionally......

Foxyloxy Wed 23-Jan-19 15:28:31

How would he be expected to pee quietly🤔 If he is aged, he might talk loudly because he might have hearing issues. Talking to him will embarrass him, and cause a problem between neighbours. If you bought this property, the person who sold it would know of these problems. If the house is owned by a landlord, you could approach him, to talk about sound proofing your ceiling and his floor. Good luck, hope you come to an amicable resolution.

Nanniepoppins Wed 23-Jan-19 15:14:30

To be honest if you choose to live in a flat like we did years ago then you have to be tolerant of neighbors as soundproofing is not great always
I think on a positive note it must be a comfort to hear people nearby.
The noises will become less fluid and you probably won’t hear them as time goes by

GrannyAnnie2010 Wed 23-Jan-19 15:09:47

Get a watering can and a stool into your bathroom. Wait till he's finished his pee and settled back into bed. Empty the watering can into the toilet from as great a height as you can manage, pausing expectantly halfway through.

After a few times of doing this, his curiosity would get the better of him and he'll approach you.
Speak quietly to him when he does, so you'll know how deaf he is, if at all.
If all else fails, do what I did in desperation and play the call to prayer or Koran reading. It worked for me and the inconsiderate family upstairs soon showed that they could live less noisily if they wanted to.

4allweknow Wed 23-Jan-19 14:35:51

There should be restrictions on flats having solid wood or laminate flooring. Should only be allowed in kitchens and bathrooms. New build properties are a nightmare regarding soundproofing. My house is 9nyears old and at times I feel the floors are made of egg boxes with no soundproofing. Thought older properties would be better unless conversion to flats has caused the problem. Check the condition attached to the properties there may well be something restricting hard floors.

grandtanteJE65 Wed 23-Jan-19 14:04:39

I don't think you can reasonably complain about the sound of everyday living. However embarrassing you find it, plenty of flats are so badly soundproofed that you can hear everything that goes on in the bathroom and bedroom!

The only way you can tackle the problem is by asking your neighbour how much sound carries from your flat to his.

His answer may well be that he never hears you at all, as he is upstairs and sounds in flats seem to go downwards rather than upwards.

If you like, you could mention that you feel you are hearing things that don't concern you as you can hear his side of telephone conversations quite clearly.

If you feel he is shouting on the phone, he is probably hard of hearing and doesn't realise that he is talking so loudly and clomping around.

He might take the hint and talk more quietly, but human anatomy being what it is the sound of men weeing is always louder than that of women and really, apart from keeping your bathroom door shut, I don't think you can do anything about that.

FredaH Wed 23-Jan-19 14:04:29

If he’s slightly deaf he will do everything loudly and even if you tell him he probably won’t realise he’s still being loud. Sponge ear plugs put in correctly are comfortable and completely soundproof. I have reptiles that eat crickets and the little sods make noise after dark so I use the plugs. Detached house and no one else hears it.

wilygran Wed 23-Jan-19 13:51:09

One flat I lived in had an insomniac exercise freak neighbour - god knows what she did - thumps & bangs & rhythmic heavy footsteps. I found an app for my phone which deadens most things with nice sounds like waves on the beach, forest streams, rainfall, train, white noise etc (you can mix & match) It kills most things if you can sleep comfortably with earbuds in. Good luck

harrigran Wed 23-Jan-19 13:50:24

If the neighbour was a gentleman he would sit to pee late at night. Total disregard of your surroundings is anti-social. My second home is a flat built 20+years ago and we still get a lot of noise, cupboard doors and TVs etc.

Solitaire Wed 23-Jan-19 13:38:00

My next door neighbours 3 dogs bark continuously all day while they're at work. I have the radio in to try and drown them out.
I remember the airline pilot prosecuted for drowning his neighbour's barking dog and I can empathise !!

NanKate Wed 23-Jan-19 13:37:19

From this title I thought you meant GOD 🙂

DotMH1901 Wed 23-Jan-19 13:23:42

Swopping your rooms around (if you can) sounds like a good move. We bought a modern semi detached many years ago and the next door bathroom was next to our bedroom - the walls were so thin you could hear everything every time someone went to the toilet. Luckily our bathroom was at the back and on the outside wall so hopefully we disturbed no one! We looked into buying sound insulating wallboards but, as it happened, DH was given a job transfer so we sold and moved before doing anything about it.

Bandit Wed 23-Jan-19 12:50:31

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MissAdventure Wed 23-Jan-19 12:47:31

I am, actually.
Just had my aids fitted last month. smile
Every cloud has a silver lining, I guess!

breeze Wed 23-Jan-19 12:42:13

Sure you're not going deaf MissA grin

sarahellenwhitney Wed 23-Jan-19 12:39:14

Blizzle I recall my late mother having the same issue as yourself and hers was a rented flat in a relatively new building. My mother was deaf so it did not bother her but it did me when I used to visit her for a few days.
If the flat belongs to yourself and you like living there, and this is just a suggestion, why not consider having some expert advice on interior soundproofing which will not affect your neighbours as it can be done inside your own property. If rented then speak to the owner of your flat.