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AIBU

the man upstairs

(118 Posts)
b1zzle Tue 22-Jan-19 12:09:20

Ever since I have lived in the ground floor flat of an old house ( few months) the last sound I hear at night is the gentleman in the flat above me peeing. Ditto on waking up. It sounds like a horse relieving itself! He's late 60s or early 70s and everything he does is loud: talks on the phone (I can hear every word); moves furniture round (all the time) and stomps rather than walks. I've tried moving my bed round the bedroom but there's no escaping the noise of either his bathroom antics; stamping feet or marathon telephone shouting. Should I be brave and try to talk to him?

Anja Tue 22-Jan-19 12:18:37

Get a long-handled brush and bang on the ceiling 🤭

Anja Tue 22-Jan-19 12:20:53

PS if you really can hearing him weeing then that’s not his fault. Suggested the place needs better sound proofing. Strange cos old houses usually quite solid.

Try and find out if he has carpet in his flat as that might absorb the noise,

MissAdventure Tue 22-Jan-19 12:23:05

I don't think there is too much you can do about the noise of someone simply going about the business of living in their home.
My flat is the same; I can hear everything that goes on upstairs.

Maggiemaybe Tue 22-Jan-19 12:36:31

I bet that’s it, Anja, no carpets. We’ve taken ours up downstairs and if we’re down in the cellar we can hear everything going on above us. We decided to leave the upstairs carpets alone. smile

Nonnie Tue 22-Jan-19 12:38:02

Agree with MissA

Esmerelda Tue 22-Jan-19 12:39:49

Oh dear, I do sympathise with you. However, I understand from my brother (his wife snores) that you can get some really good earplugs now so that might be a thought for when you go to bed at night.

Septimia Tue 22-Jan-19 12:54:20

I heard the same things when my son lived in a flat - not very nice. I slept on a fold-out bed in the living room and frequently heard the chap upstairs clomping about; often the noisy walking would end with an equally noisy visit to the loo. I assumed a) that he had solid flooring not carpets and b) lived alone so that he didn't close the bathroom door. My son couldn't hear so much from the bedroom.

FlexibleFriend Tue 22-Jan-19 12:59:31

I'd guess he doesn't have carpets, so yes you hear every noise, it's one of the many things I dislike about flats.

Elegran Tue 22-Jan-19 13:00:09

Can you change the rooms around so that your bedroom becomes a livingroom and you sleep in another room? If moving the furniture is too much for you, ask for his help! While chatting, you might be able to hint at why you are shifting things around - or even tell him outright. He probably has no idea that his smallest move is audible to you, in fact he could be mortified enough to get some carpets.

DoraMarr Tue 22-Jan-19 13:29:39

Poor chap can’t help his bladder- perhaps he can hear you? Carpets won’t help that problem either, it’s to do with the plumbing. If you have only lived there a few months you haven’t had enough time to tune out unfamiliar sounds. Give it a while and you will get used to them. Alternatively, find a newer flat, which will be better insulated. I live in a modern flat and I can’t hear a thing from the neighbours.

MissAdventure Tue 22-Jan-19 13:31:16

At one time I had 6 men living in the flat upstairs. Mornings sounded like Niagara falls, complete with accompanying farts.

NanaandGrampy Tue 22-Jan-19 13:40:47

Didn't you go and check out the noise before you moved? Ive always made a point of calling round to places before I move to test out traffic , noise etc?

Noise cancelling headphones are the way to go :-)

aggie Tue 22-Jan-19 13:46:26

How can you ask the person upstairs to flush the toilet when you are viewing a flat ?

mumofmadboys Tue 22-Jan-19 14:43:12

At least your neighbour hasn't got prostate problems!!

lemongrove Tue 22-Jan-19 14:47:13

Play Status Quo very loudly at every opportunity.

Beau Tue 22-Jan-19 14:48:55

My flat was built in the 1980's and I must admit the sound of people going to the loo upstairs has been a constant annoyance, especially at night. The echoing sound of a golden retriever wagging it's tail against the radiator of the lounge was also an interesting one for a couple of years. I don't think there's anything you can do except be grateful it's not loud music making the floors and walls reverberate - 3 years of that one while my daughter was studying was nearly enough to push me over the edge.

merlotgran Tue 22-Jan-19 14:51:17

When I first saw the thread title I thought it should have been under Religion/Spirituality. grin

MissAdventure Tue 22-Jan-19 14:54:04

I have also, in my years as a flat dweller had the misfortune to live above someone who constantly complained.
Its really awful being afraid to move around in your own home.
I rather prefer being downstairs.

JenniferEccles Tue 22-Jan-19 17:15:25

Have you met the man? If not why not go up, introduce yourself in a friendly way, then politely mention that you think the soundproofing between your flats is poor.

Ask him if he ever hears you. If he seems approachable you could then mention that you can hear quite a lot from his flat (without obviously being specific about the loo sounds!) and then enquire as to whether his flat is carpeted.

The other alternative is for you to get a builder to install a soundproofed ceiling in your flat.. You mentioned it is in an old house, so hopefully your ceilings are high enough for that option.

I understand they work quite well. You really don't want to have to resort to earplugs in your own home.

Lazigirl Tue 22-Jan-19 17:24:51

We used to live in a ground floor flat in an old house and could hear upstairs (not toileting thankfully) because they had wooden floors. Modern flats tend to have better soundproofing. When you first move you are much more away of noises because they are strange and it takes a few months to get used to them and treat them as background. My friend lives next to a railway line, and I jump when a train roars past but she doesn't even notice it. I think JenniferE's suggestion re getting to know the guy plus option of soundproofing are good.

BlueBelle Tue 22-Jan-19 17:26:29

To be quite honest if you live in a flat you have to expect to hear all sorts of noises and the poor man cant not pee Presume he hasn’t got a wife or you might head more 😂

LullyDully Tue 22-Jan-19 17:37:16

(Although this doesn't help, he sounds like he has a very efficient bladder for his age. )

One of the problems with living in a flat is always the neighbours.

We lived in some lovely ones in big grounds which were built in 1950s. They attracted the elderly and what a load of moaners they were. The grass wasn't like Lords cricket ground, people were talking under their balcony etc. I was so glad to move.

Your neighbour needs carpeting to muffle the sound. Perhaps if you run into him and get chatting you could have a conversation with him about general noise in the flats without saying he is the noisy one. He may get the hint.

MawBroon Tue 22-Jan-19 17:37:54

There is a play by NF Simpson which just fits this scenario
It’s called A Resounding Tinkle !

www.ayoungertheatre.com/review-a-resounding-tinkle-rosemary-branch-theatre/

MissAdventure Tue 22-Jan-19 17:45:46

grin Maw
I've heard many of those.
I can't honestly believe that people would have a word with someone to say they live below and can hear someone living above.

My friends downstairs neighbour complained about hearing her alarm clock in the morning.
I'm not sure what she thought could be done about it.