Dummy Blind

I dislike dummies but would have used one of it would have helped my ds not to scream with colic.
I knew it wouldn't help since, when he was distressed, he wouldn't take a bottle teat in his mouth so wouldn't have wanted a dummy either.
(He was breast fed but doctor & health visitor advised me to give extra feeds from bottle when he was screaming. It didn't work.)

When I saw the ultrasound scan at 20weeks and DGD is sucking her thumb I was supposed to think how sweet, but I truly thought how awful.
She has given up her dummy now she's 4.
I worried that I had weaned mine from the breast too soon when DS continued to suck his thumb for years
I think some of us are more oral than others. Some touch their faces and pick their teeth more than others do. Some adults chew gum and plenty still smoke.

One of my children was dummy obsessed, another his thumb and one was happier without anything. Both those with something to suck spoke earlier than the one who was happy to be without. The one with the dummy had it forcibly removed by my mother...she was unhappy from then on. I'm not sure she ever recovered but maybe she would have been less satisfied with life whatever the circumstances.
When my Grandson used to come to me, once he reached a certain age, I wanted the dummy to go during the day. However, although I persevered, his parents didn't. As he was non-verbal I got quite exasperated but it turns out he was autistic and the dummy had nothing to do with it...according to the SALT. When he becomes overwhelmed, I am now happy to let him have the dummy although he is over 3 because it does sooth him. We are looking for something else, but until we find it, the dummy stays.

Frankly, I don't worry about dummies, although I never used them.

What does worry me are the parents who happily post photos of their completely naked toddlers online.

Later on, most children will be embarrassed by these photos, and with all we hear about sexual abuse of children these days, it seems very risky to me.

Bibbity, my sister sucked her left forefinger and middle finger until she was about three when she stopped of her own accord. I can clearly see the marks of her two front teeth on her fingers in my mind's eye even now.

I believe dentists feel right now that sucking a thumb or finger causes much less damage to teeth than using a dummy.

Here in Denmark, most parks have a "dummy tree". Parents take their children to the tree where the little one hangs up the dummy when he or she feels ready to part with it. (Most mothers keep a spare for bedtime the first couple of nights). This makes a little ceremony of being big enough to do without the dummy, which seems to make parting with it easier for the children.

In our day - what a dreadful phrase - dummies were frowned upon. Life has moved on - dummies have been redesigned and are harmless and in common use now. I cannot think why you would want to judge someone who uses one for their child; nor yet someone who photographs a baby with one it. Why shouldn't they? Their decision.

I think this is like the breast vs formula debate.

There's no right or wrong way. Whatever suits each particular family.

My daughter was given a dummy in SCBU as she wasn't feeding. She had it for about 10 months, until she bit through the teat and choked on it. She never had another one.

But I'd not condemn anyone else for using them. Just make sure you check the teat frequently.

*uses

My four children all had to go into special care when they were born as were early but would go in to see them and stay every day til late but the nurses had always given them a test stuffed with cotton wool and then asked me to buy dummies because they each cried a lot. The 3rd one was born 8 weeks early and she needed one to strengthen her sucking motion because she couldn’t do it and was having to be tube fed, dummies definitely have their used

The problem with dummies is that they are addictive - the sucking reflex is very powerful and for a baby, the more satisfaction from sucking it can get, the better - the upshot is that dummies are used to put the baby/child in a state of satisfaction BUT the child’s satisfaction is only being achieved in the service of the parent/childminder for whom the child is taking a back seat. And whilst the mouth is shut the child can not be interacting verbally nor can it be encouraged to develop speech. So dummies actually retard children’s development but make life easier for the parent/childminder - it’s a atraightforward equation ... oh and by the way, who said the child must be satisfied all the time? I see lots of threads about children these days wanting immediate gratification and maybe there’s a connection between having a dummy until one is three years old and having a temper tantrum at six because of having to share a toy.

Why do people fret about things that don't concern them? Use dummies if you want to, don't use them if you don't, no-one else's business.

I never used a dummies or bottles and my daughters have followed suit with their children.

I really dislike seeing toddlers and even some older children with them. It interferes with their speech and can affect their teeth.

Just remembered the other week when I was sorting out some pjs for my grandson, he was with me when we were going through his drawer, we came across a dummy still in it's packaging, when he saw it he said "why have you still got a dodo, I don't need one anymore, I'm a big boy now" I think children often reach that sort of opinion themselves. Maybe not so with thumb sucking because it's often done unconsciously.

I have always hated dummies and my children didn’t have them at all. I find it hard to believe how many 2 to 3 year olds seem to still have them when I see them in town. My younger daughter did suck her thumb for quite a long time,but it didn’t seem to do any harm ,thankfully.

Quite agree Tangerine : each to their own. My friends daughter clung onto her dummy until my friend ‘misplaced’ it. Her daughter then chewed the corner of her quilt cover and took it everywhere with her eventually without the quilt inside, then a corner cut off to leave a scrap of material! It was horrible and chewed but eventually forgotten at 3 years old

Our children had dummies but I always removed it before taking a photo, they usually didn't mind. They can be a sanity saver for parents, but we have often received photos of GC with dummies which have rather spoiled an otherwise lovely picture.

I echo mcm, GD didn't have a dummy, just turned 9 now she still sucks her thumb when she's tired. GS had one, he's 4, several years ago the dummy was discarded. Once upon a time I didn't like them and now when I see them on other babies and tots, I think of my GS when he was a baby and toddler and think aaah they've got their "plug" in, I have to admit I've changed my point of view on them. Mine didn't have dummies but they sucked their thumbs for a very long time.

My daughter had difficulty sleeping and the doctor suggested we gave her a dummy, She used them until the age of 3 when she gave up by herself. My son spat it out when we tried to give him one. Both have lovely teeth.
On board a ferry once I spotted a 6ft man asleep on deck with his thumb in his mouth! Gross!

I have a cousin in her sixties, she still sucks her thumb, not in public and not in photographs

I too was born sucking my thumb but there isn't a photo with me in it sucking my thumb. It was a comfort when I was tired or bored. It did help in infant and junior schools because if I was seen sucking my thumb in class I was given harder work to do as obviously I had finished what had been set. I carried on sucking my thumb at night but never during the day from the age of 10 or 11. It never affected the shape of my mouth or teeth and even now in my 70s people remark on my even teeth.
I have always thought dummies were a soother to help babies to sleep and some of my children wanted them and some didnt. I really don't think running around as a child with a dummy in their mouth is helpful. They talk with their dummies in their mouth which doesnt help their speech and in my wider family some have ended up with mishapen teeth.

Didn’t give them to my children, if parents do it’s their choice , doesn’t mean they are bad parents .

GS had a dummy but accepted that when he was a 'big boy' he and mummy would tie it to agree on the garden and the dummy fairy would take it away for a little baby.
His sister didn't have one and is still (8) sucking her thumb.
A sweeping disdainful generalisation about dummies/ parents/ phones!

None of my children would accept a dummy, just spat them out. They did though take to finger and thumb sucking. If a child is inclined to need comfort from sucking a dummy that is much less harmful than a hard finger, causing much less damage to teeth.

I know that dummies are now safer than they used to be (bigger edge to stop the baby swallowing it) but they are so ugly and look as if the child is hermetically sealed. I sometimes wonder if they were removed, the child would take flight and whizz round the room, like a balloon that is let go.

I was a thumb-sucker, as was my daughter, but we both have perfect teeth.

OP, with you 100% of the way.

I notice than children with dummies usually have parents glued to their phones.