Pretentious moi ?

loopyloo
'Microplane' is a brand name!
They're graters, but the brand is 'Microplane'!
It's a good thing that graters and planes are different, I'd get a very sore bum flying to New York on a grater!

Can you beat this for pretentiousness? - from the "paid-for" announcements page in The Times (9th February), submitted by the parents of Cicely, born December 2018;

""Kiki" is likely to develop classical tastes because her parents, both classicists, plan to introduce her to the sites of antiquity. Top of Mummy's list are the three temples at Paestum in Italy. Daddy may teach Kiki debating skills; he is a barrister and met Sian, now a business analyst, on a law conversion course. Being sporty, Sian is introducing Kiki to the ski slopes in March in Klosters, Switzerland. It is hoped that she takes to travel, because in April, Kiki will take her first long-haul trip to visit her Aunt Izzy in Tokyo."

Poor kid.

varian ? no, I really don't think that could ever be beaten for pretentiousness ?

Chefs. No apostrophe.
It's amazing that so many insist on putting apostrophes before the letter 's', no matter that it makes no sense.

I so hope Kiki turns out to enjoy smoking pot, lounging around playing Xbox, and wearing baggy old leggings.

Meaningless cheffy chat includes 'reduced down', 'separated out' and 'boiled off', all of which get on my wick.

Oh! I reckon the Kiki announcementis a complex underworld message or have I just read too many murder mysteries??
If real..poor Kiki

Enid Blyton had a cockatoo in the Adventure series called Kiki!

Never say something is rubbish until you have tasted it. Just because something doesn't sound right does not mean it will taste awful.

Nope. I'm never trying tongue.
I object to tasting something which may well be tasting me back.

So if Cicely's named is shortened to Kiki does that mean that they pronounce Cicely "Kickely"?

We had a Cicely in the family, aka Great-Aunt Cissie.

I am never going to taste tripe.
Sorry.

not even a tiny piece.

It is hoped that she takes to travel, because in April, Kiki will take her first long-haul trip to visit her Aunt Izzy in Tokyo."
Oh dear, I do hope poor Cicely aka Kiki does not have travel sickness and vomit over dear Mummy or Daddy all the way there.

MissAdventure. I offered my husband some tongue. He said, "I'm not eating something that's been in an animal's mouth! I'll have an egg instead!"

He's a sensible man, if ever there was one.
There are so many lovely things to eat, why would you eat something's tongue..

GreenGran78 your post is twice as funny if you knew why my Dad would never eat eggs. " I'm not eating something that came out of a chicken's butt!" LOL

My daughter complained that when she was taken out to dinner, she was given a decomposed salad?I pointed out that she probably meant "deconstructed" but she replied that her enjoyment level would have been the same either way, plus it was flipping expensive! She certainly can't be accused of being pretentious!

Had an argument with the chef in the café I was working in as to what was in Lancashire Hotpot..no it doesn't have tomato puree or garlic...oh yes it does according to Ramsey and Monsieur Oliver ..thanks for that boys...
would we like some parmesan with it
or lemon?

Or deconstructed tongue?

Jenkins
Oh no it doesn't!!
Nor lemon Tell them!

I always remember KiKi was the name of the cockatoo in the Famous Five books. I named my budgie after it .

Oh yes, that's where I'd heard it before.

Deconstructed anything never tastes anywhere like as good as constructed - i.e. normal.

Surely the minute you stick your knife, fork or spoon into the food it becomes deconstructed. I don't like froth and hate food served swimming in gravy or sauce, much prefer it to be served separately so I can add just a small amount.