Cooking for all needs...

My GD has a peanut allergy, and asthma. My son is vegan, and caters for himself. Otherwise everyone eats almost anything, thank heavens............but..........
how did we survive 'back in the day?' Did people just quietly die of unrecognised allergies, or is our way of life causing them? I can't even remember knowing anyone with asthma, when I was young. Now almost every other child seems to suffer from it.
I'm convinced that being in contact with chemicals in almost everything, from birth, must have a lot to do with it.
If my family had so many dietary requirements I would simply suggest eating out. Much less hassle.

Unless it's an allergy (genuine) or medical condition my attitude is eat what you're given or go hungry, or bring your own or don't come. Can't stand food phaffing.

Don't have any problems with having many friends and family coming to eat my delicious food.

I would differentiate between personal food choices and actual food allergies- people suffering from these are not ‘picky’ eaters. One of my younger granddaughters has a dairy intolerance consumption causes her upset stomach, stomach aches and irritability. Her sister has a cow’s milk protein allergy which is so severe it affected her liver as a very young baby. Both conditions require ongoing medical supervision and advice from a hospital dietician. I research recipes online, it is extra effort. I’d ask adult guests to supply/ assist in meal prep!

You can always serve home-made vegetable soup with no thickening when they all come at once!

Tillybelle it looks like you got out of having a kitchen in the nick of time

I was brought up in a post war household where if you didn't like something or had some ethical problem you went hungry.

Now we have a lot more empathy and choice I try to accommodate but I would have to draw the line if catering got more complicated than it already is. I have one son out of my 3 who is veggie. He's been one for years but he's not difficult about it. He would rather not eat meat but he doesn't kick up a fuss if I've used a stock cube by mistake or his veggie 'thing' has sat next to our meat 'thing'.

I do now try to cook healthy veggie meals for him and freeze them. To make it easier when I've got a full house and don't want to be cooking separate meals.

It's subjective though really isn't it. For example, my husband will eat ANYTHING and I mean anything. I won't eat veal or fois gras. My son won't eat meat but eats cheese and doesn't mind a stock cube.

Others won't go near anything that's remotely inconvenienced an animal so I guess respect them as long as they don't try to shove it down your throat. If it's difficult, ask them to bring their own. Especially if you're getting on a bit and catering is an ordeal anyway.

Oh, and my son did once eat some meat. He was in Morocco (desert) and was invited to eat with some people who were not very well off. They put a chicken stew in front of him and he said he just couldn't hurt their feelings as they were so proud and happy.

My SiL and eldest GS are fussy eaters full stop! My 12yr old GS is GF, 10 yr old GD will only eat chicken and mince. My youngest GD, 7yrs, has severe allergies, dairy, pea protein and lily pollen requiring an epipen. Then is also allergic to soya, fish, sorbitol, (in apples, pears, dried fruit etc), and nuts!
My sister is GF, dairy free and has a list of veg she can't eat, while her husband has a different list of foods He cant/won't eat. Oh and I'm allergic to cows cheese!
I read ALL labels, tell my sister to bring her own milk and plan meals accordingly. I also cook from scratch so I know what's in the meals.
With my S & BiL, they eat what I provide or bring their own.
It's a minefield!

Just tell them to eat somewhere else. That's my take on cooking for dietary needs. I love cooking and baking but couldn't cope with that. My table will only seat 6, 8 at a push. I can handle vegetarian and Gluten free and my daughter has just been diagnosed as allergic to Quorn. That's easy to avoid, but anything else is out of my remit.

nipsmum I'm allergic to Quorn (I'm not a vegetarian but used it a few times to join my son with the veggie meals). The first time I had it it gave me stomach pains, second time, pain and trots and third time, stomach pains, trots and vomiting. It's mould apparently. Not that that matters but I've got the constitution of an ox usually but that, nooo.

I sympathise. I guess the only alternative is to go to a pub or restaurant and everyone can choose what they want - an advantage is that someone else does the preparation and the washing up afterwards.

My view is that it is not due to a diagnosed illness then they can pick and choose from what I offer!
My ignorance as a young mother meant I just pureed whatever I was cooking for DH and I and popped it in the fridge or freezer for the babies! They have likes & dislikes but not fussy!

I find for a big crowd buffet meals with rice / jacket potatoes / bread as the carb base with a vegetarian casserole/bake and some grilled fish/chicken & various salads for a "help yourself" meal works ok.

Though most of my friends an family eat most things.

I do avoid pork based foods for visitors because of religious rules.

I usually do a meringue based dessert and /or an almond cake with fresh fruits for dessert. Vegans have managed to eat plenty with that menu!

For my birthday recently we went to a turkish mezze place locally, then back to ours for cakes/coffee /brandy. Making the cakes for all requirements was quite tricky enough.

I have no issue with allergies, vegans etc, and respect peoples choices. It just makes what should be a pleasurable experience stressful!

I sometimes think that people have forgotten that getting together over food is supposed to be about bonding and socialising together...

I’m with you Clare it is a total pain.

I never knew you could poach strawberries. And why would you want to. They are delicious as they are.

I wonder if in places, where eating has been more at the heat of a culture, have also got these issues of allergy /intolerance/vegetarian /veganism or is it more common in UK? Any GNers out there in Italy, France, Spain able to let me know if this is happening all over?

heart not heat!

Total sympathy Clare - it sure takes the fun out of cooking. By the time food catering for all allergies and preferences has been prepared for each meal, the kitchen looks like a complete train wreck - barely a pot or pan not used. And then there's the left-overs to sort out, store and use....!!

You could work out two or three menus and stick to those when they come.

I have to cater for those with intolerances, allergies and coeliacs, an occasional vegetarian (not one who is occasionally vegetarian but who visits occasionally iyswim) so I tend to use gf ingredients all the time anyway.

Anyone comes round my house to eat (which is bloody rare because I detest entertaining) had better be able to eat a full non-restrictive diet because if they can't then they can bugger off and eat somewhere else! Sick to death of all these supposed intolerances (allergies are, obviously, another issue) - I swear its our 21st century over-cleanliness (anti-baccing to hell and back) that is causing most of these issues!

I won't contribute to this discussion except to say I would have used the exact words Saetana used ?

What a laugh you have given me Saetana. ?

Crudités would be alright for everyone! You could also have a selection of cheese/vegan cheese and crackers/gluten free crackers along with fruit salad for dessert and soda water/ginger ale to drink. If a hot meal is required, then vegetable soup would be fine.

It's interesting to note, that quite a few comments say they wouldn't be bothered with the various dietary requirements of their family. People that need to follow a gluten free diet can be made very ill if they are given gluten. As can those that are dairy intolerant. I myself have been asthmatic all my life and have to be careful with nuts and anything containing rapeseed oil. As rapeseed makes me have a wheezy chest, so I would become quite ill within about 20 mins.

GreenGran78 - Rapeseed oil can also affect asthmatics. I can no longer eat Cadbury's or Magnums, as the emulsifier they use ( E442 ) is derived from rape.

Medical conditions like gluten intolerance and allergies are not the fault of the sufferer and can be catered for. Anything else is picky eating and the picky eater is the one being rude by expecting a host to cater for their preferences. Safely ignored.

I’ve found that cutting nightshades out of my diet has drastically reduced flare ups of arthritis. Rather than be thought of as one of Lilyflowers ‘picky eaters’ I ate the lasagne served up by my lovely SiL. Sure enough within 24 hours I couldn’t walk or drive due to the pain and consequently couldn’t do the school runs. This caused great inconvenience for a whole week to my family as they rely on me to do this.
So much for being ‘rude’