To be annoyed about the wedding plans?

Just smile and absorb the pride she has. It's not going to last forever, be happy for her.?

I like moonbeames suggestion! I always remember my DM who had all sorts of adventures around the world in the Forties and Fifties, including a plane crash where she saved people, living in Africa. When she visited her MIL and SIL when home on leave, all they could talk about were what their neighbours were up to. They were simply not interested in her or her husband. Some people are just like that.

As others have said, it will be over soon. And, I would turn it into a game, come up with all sorts of subjects and see if she can turn them into a wedding topic. If not score one to you, if she does score one to her. It will keep your mind busy and a bit of a laugh.

I agree. Sometimes I’m asked a question and the other person starts talking before I’ve managed to answer it. That’s probably why I often prefer my own company.

I have two sisters in-law who talk at me non stop. Actually that is not true, they stop to ask how I am and when I start to tell them they talk over me. One boasts about how successful her family are, the other jumps from one subject to another barely drawing breath. I have to take pain killers for a headache afterwards. The common denominator is that both of them live alone, so maybe I should be more tolerant or maybe my life and family are just not as interesting as theirs? The other annoying thing is that when I finally get their attention I start gabbling, as I know I only have a few seconds before they will start talking about themselves again!

Keep on trying to change the subject. She needs you to help her keep a sense of perspective. And yes she is probably very anxious so reassuring her might help too. And yes it would drive me mad.

@neptune
It takes two to make a conversation-

you could just say yes yes yes yes yes that's interesting that -

or say whilst carrying out a task I'm not ignoring you

- or just walk off

But you could carry on as you are

I do not believe that type of person realise how monotonous they sound. If, other than family history, you like her company then its grin and bear or end the friendship.

I'm with Lucky Girl, let her enjoy herself and hopefully it will stop soon enough!

Actually, CarlyD7, I’ve often thought that myself! But maybe I don’t show enough interest in other people so will definitely try harder from now on. Trouble is, my memory is hopeless and I can barely remember what people have told me. Then I struggle to remember whether I’m meant to be asking about their Mum, their grandson or their cat!

Reading some of the messages, I have to wonder why we have these "friends" - they're not really friends are they if they're not the slightest bit interested in YOU? Maybe, time to start withdrawing and let them go - with love but firmly!

I think it's nice to let her talk about the wedding BUT time limit it, and try not to make things worse by being so polite that she isn't given the opportunity to realise she's droning on about it too much. Or, in other words, limit the time she has available to bore you (let's be honest, that's what she's doing). So don't answer the phone to her; if you're in a group, make sure you don't sit next to her; make excuses if she wants to meet up (have a list handy!) and distract her whenever possible. You don't have to listen endlessly - just give her (say) 20 minutes, and then make sure you can go on to something-else. If she persists, then you'll have to put more space between you until after the wedding (when, of course, she'll want to discuss every detail of what happened !)

Unfortunately we all have a friend who isn’t interested in anything you have to say and according to them their life is so much more exciting and their child is the only child in the world that’s got a degree, a masters degree and a good career. Even when I wished to talk about losing my dad recently to her, she turned the conversation around to her own daughter and how lucky she is to have a promotion. She has no filter and is not interested in discussing anyone else’s life or problems they may have. My husband refuses to have coffee with her as he is sick to the back teeth of it. I really like the lady and I suppose I’m too polite to ask her to change the subject. I wish I could be that blunt, however I feel she’s living her life through her daughter’s achievements as she had another child very young and it stopped her furthering her own career. I can’t wait until her daughter starts wedding plans ? listening about her son’s wedding was bad enough. If you are like me you will just suck it up and hope that one day you may be able to have some input.

Some people only want to talk about themselves. I know a lot of people like this. I find it quite insulting actually. They may as well say, "Listen to me because I'm not remotely interested in you." Instead they go on and on and I find I switch off. I have one friend who I can honestly say knows nothing whatsoever about me. She doesn't ask me anything and I don't offer anything because I know she's not interested. I don't know why we're friends really.

Would humour can help in situations like these? Could you listen patiently, then smile politely, and ask, " And what else is going on in your world besides the wedding?"
She may be a little non-plussed and may or may not get the message but at least try to be subtle rather than hurtful. You can but try.

Repeating yourself is a sign of aging isn't it?

Repeating yourself is a sign of aging isn't it?

I never understand why people find it irritating when others speak of what is going on in their lives. We all do don't we? We talked about our boyfriends, breakups, weddings, being pregnant, decorating/garden projects, house moves, divorce, illness, grandkids. You talk about what's going on in your life at that time. Good or bad. Some of my friends have had good times, telling me about exciting trips abroad, or bad, when a good friend of mine had a breakdown over her marriage breakup. She went on and on but she had to let it all out to come through the other side. My friends all give and take. I love their proud moments and try to be a shoulder when they have their bad ones.

Sometimes they've monopolised conversations, sometimes I have. Times to listen, times to talk.

We all have one friend who dramatizes everything whether she's experienced it or not. Which could be frustrating but we laugh about it mostly. For example, if one of our kids has got up to something worrying, her very well behaved kids will be the worst in the world and she'll bring up the time they dropped the cornflakes or something and say 'So look at what I've had to put up with' when you've just been to the police station to get your 14 year old son out because he joined a protest march

But we know that's 'just her' and we take no notice and she's got lots of good points. Very entertaining when out for example. I could write a book of her exploits.

So let your friend have her moment. Some people have no friends.

Saggi, could you tell a white lie to your friend to stop the every night phone calls. I think I would tell her that you have a commitment ( job, club, helping someone, babysitting,) in the evenings and would only be able to chat at the weekend.

Neptune - you don't mention whether your friend has ever been obsessive and hogged your conversations before - if not then she really is being consumed by excitement and you might forgive her a little for this. However, it she is so easily absorbed by the wedding, then if and when a pregnancy occurs, the pattern will be the same, so you do need to make some changes, albeit slight ones. I agree with the idea of being proactive and starting off your interaction by asking for the 'wedding news', but saying this in such a way like "Come on then, tell what's new on the wedding front" before I tell you my news. You need to flag that each time you meet, so she gets the idea that it's all about turn-taking, and if she brings your contribution round to the wedding again, you need to say light-heartedly something like "oh, we're back to the wedding again - how did that happen!". This is actually in your friend's interests because if she persists in being the bore that she's become she will lose other friends less gracious than yourself.

Yes, that would drive me bananas too. I had a friend who would tell me every tiny detail about the lives of her children and said she spoke to her daughters on the phone every day for about an hour each 'because we're a close family' - which I found challenging as I wondered if she was implying mine wasn't! Then it was her GC, and I tried hard to listen but any attempt at sharing my own live events was turned back to hers. I found it more and more infuriating and demeaning, but as I was becoming unwell with depression I put it down to selfishness on my part. It got worse and I began to find it all very toxic and my anxiety and feelings of inadequacy spilled over as I could no longer keep them hidden for the sake of friendship. After 25 years of friendship and long complicated story short, our little craft business had to split and we had a bitter and acrimonious split. It was horrible and I am most definitely partly to blame. No reason why this should happen to anyone else, but just pointing out the dangers of not addressing painful feelings and difficulties in a friendship.

I have a friend like this , only her singular conversation is about herself. She goes on and on and on about noisy neighbours, disrespectful younger people, being on her own, her choice that last one by the way! I try to meet up with her two or three times a year and as neither drives that’s quite some journey for both of us. She phones me EVERY night, and sometimes I just have to blank the call. She’s the reason I had caller- ID on my phone . When I do answer the call ... she asks how I am and never ever waits for the answer.... she goes straight on to her problems , her health, her lack of support by a very few family members. Try telling her it’s her self obsessiveness that might be causing people to blank her and all hell is let loose. She’s becoming quite a hypochondriac as well, and visits the doctor incessantly, at least once a month. Try telling her I’m waiting for my appointment that was made three weeks ago; for two weeks in future she blanks me and moves on to her latest obsession with health. To my mind nothing wrong that dropping g three stone and finding out where to buy fresh veg wouldn’t cure. She is driving me bonkers. These so-called friends can become pretty toxic I’m afraid. What to do about them though that’s the point!

I wonder how it would go if you sweetly said " don't tell me too much, I'm so looking forward to the day and want it to be a surprise"

Good luck.

So much wedding talk I would ask if there is anything you can do to help with plans don’t be a grumpy guest indulge your friend it’s a big thing for all of us
I loved being motb and happy to support my friends as their time comes

I would joke about it next time she starts.. as in, ‘what, your daughter is getting married? You haven’t mentioned that before! Why didn’t you tell me?’ With a big smile.

The same for me, ann.
It reduces me to tears sometimes when she is gone (for a couple of hours, if I'm lucky)

I can only say that the posters who say be kind and let her talk, have never experienced this,
It may be with the OP, it is only this wedding and then it will stop but to have someone for whom it is a lifestyle it is awful.
I COULD cut this person I posted about out of my life but the guilt I would feel is not worth it to me.
She is widowed and lonely apart from her family who are the subjects of her endless boasting.
Her family are all extremely wealthy, blessed with magnificent brains and top of their field in anything they do.