Sometimes I despair. About to leave for church this morning when my lovely Sister in Law rang. Haven't had many chats since my DB died earlier in the year she seemed to need space so was really pleased she seemed to want a chat.
Now under circumstances like that it would hardly be the end of the world to have arrived late. We are a small congregation who all know each other and plenty of times people have slipped in at the back for lesser reasons than that ...no problem..
But I was reminded of the time so often I felt so annoyed with him by the time we arrived ...only 5 minutes late ...not in the frame of mind for worship at all.
Now my husband has a thing about always doing things at the same time on same day. Time keeping essential. We have recently came to the conclusion that he has undiagnosed Aspergers Syndrom. (aged 67 ...no diagnoses of this in those days and was sent away to a state boarding school because of 'failure to thrive' in big family.) Has always held down a job, has several hobbies ext ext but always been a bit 'quirky'. I have understood him so much better and he has understood himself so much better since reading up on Aspergers.
He is in lots of ways a lovely person but in cases where human emotions should be the most important issue he can be lacking in empathy. I know I know ...maybe I should just have said to him to go on without me. Instead I tried to explain on the way there why I was a bit annoyed but he just didn't get it. This irritated me so much that I found I couldn't sit next to him in church and came out. After half an hour he came to look for me and now understands my point of view and is feeling bad. I too feel bad ...now I understand about the Aspergers I could have handled it better but I feel that I so often make the allowances and of course impacts on so many of our relationships.
The Bible tells us that to look after widows and orphans in their distress is true religion and I feel that his haste definitely didn't reflect that message. Yet he does feel deeply for my SIL and is now upset he hurried me away. Of course I too have failed this morning in a total lack of empathy towards him. Help.
Sorry for such a long post. It has helped just to write this all down. I would never share all this inRL
To think in 20 years we won't do it any more?
De-cluttering, the never-ending process
Good Morning Sunday 2nd April 2023