The Men in White coats are coming for me soon [confused] there's room in the van for a few more!

The wrong church scene features tragically in Far from the Madding Crowd only there the bride-to-be goes to the wrong church and Sergeant Troy thinks she's stood him up .
Trains. Oh dear. I had to change at Newcastle to continue my journey from London to Edinburgh. I got off and saw through an archway the words Flying Scotsman on the side of a train just ready to pull out. I got on it only to discover it was going back to London. Of course it was. Silly me. Luckily it stopped at Durham and I caught the soonest train I could. Times like that no ticket checker will dare argue with you.

breeze. Your funeral story reminds me of the 'Only Fools and Horses' episode, where they go to the wrong church and attend a stranger's funeral.

I felt really stupid recently. Leaving the clinic, after my physio appointment, I read the poster on the inside of the security door which told me to "press the green button to release the door lock." I did so, but couldn't pull the door open. The man who had come up behind me pressed the button and opened the door without any problem. He had pressed the big green plastic button on the wall. I had pressed the picture of the green button which was printed on the poster!

Last June I booked a private appointment with ( or so I thought ) a foot surgeon as I was fed up of the pain. I arrived at the due time to see the the doc. He was puzzled as he didn't have my notes so he went out to ask the receptionist for them.
Instead of making an appointment with the foot surgeon, I had made one with the orthopaedic knee surgeon I had previously seen three years ago. He was so nice about it and didn't charge me either. Bet he got good mileage out of that though (blush)
Hope there's still room on the bus and you'll have to budge up as I can't stand with this foot. ?

I have an aerial decoration so when I loose my car, I just have to look for the yellow duck. You can get all sorts of creature decorations online.

I once arrived at the dentist three months early. Dates confuse me. Although I can still remember the date of my birthday I was quite convinced it was this weekend and not next.

Telling the time confuses me. Three times I have nearly missed trains or buses through confusing 5 minutes BEFORE the half hour with 5 minutes AFTER the half hour and being surprised when the transport arrived and left apparently 10 minutes early. Fortunately each time I had arrived in good time. Was very lucky one time when I arrived at the bus stop in very good time (as I thought) for a bus timetabled for 25 minutes after the hour but which I misinterpreted as 5 minutes AFTER half past the hour otherwise would have missed the last bus after a day out had I arrived at 35 instead of 25 minutes after the hour.

lol lol ohh this is like story time, or going to a comedy show I can just picture some of the scenarios. Would love to have little sketches.

This is going to be a very crowded bus. We had a bring and share meal at the vicarage, and I spent ages making a fresh raspberry trifle for it. Found a place to park and carefully made my way over the cobbles, glass bowl in hand, and rang the bell. Sub-dean answered the door looking a bit surprised. 'I've come for the Women's Group' I said. 'That's next week' he replied, 'but you can leave the trifle with me!'

Charleygirl5--I can now stand outside Waitrose and see my bright green hideosity parked at the very furthest corner. Fantastic!

chicken that would solve my problem because frequently I cannot find my car in Waitrose's large outdoor car park. I think my car is a hideous beige colour but somebody decided to name it green. He must have been colour blind.

A few years ago I got out my pretty sewing box to sew a button on DH's shirt. I haven't seen that sewing box since, despite searching high and low. It's not as though we have a big house. I think I must have put it in the bin or something.

I panicked a couple of weeks ago when I couldn't find my hearing aids. NHS, but a charge of £100 if you lose them. Hunted high and low, in the most ridiculous places, but no luck. Tried to remember what I'd done that day and thought "No. Surely not." I found them--- in the recycling bin!
I think I've solved the "wrong car" problem---I've just bought a new car in vivid bright green. You don't get many of those to the pound!

It was when my mother was alive- she was driving- we parked in a multi-story carpark and of course when we returned to find the car we forgot or took no notice of where we had parked.

It was easier to take the lift to the top floor and walk our way down the floors until we found our car- never again- I always take careful note now.

Well! well you have all been very busy, seems like we need a fleet of buses,good to know we all loose/do odd things at times. I for one will learn to re read my appointment times/dates of holidays etc etc live n learn, live n learn ;)

Lucky you all getting an early appointment I rand our appointments line and the earliest I got was 5 weeks ...yes weeks in the future . I booked it on 12/Feb for 19/March. How’s that!!

Some years ago I was chatting to a lovely young couple with a tiny baby, just a few weeks old in a car seat. The lady did look pregnant, but instead of working things out I just blurted out "when's the next one due" and even as I was saying it I was thinking she can't be pregnant and if she is she wouldn't be showing, she just hasn't lost her baby weight...but it was too late to unsay it. The lady tried to laugh it off, but her hubby was furious!

Years ago we'd to drive across from Clearwater, Florida to the Orlando airport for our flight home. Fortunately I always insist that we allow far too much time at airports, as I realised just as we set off that I'd somehow misread the flight time and it was leaving 2 hours earlier than I thought. Luckily we got to the airport just in time to board, but we were separated and seated all over the plane - DS and I by the toilets in the smokers' section, which meant we had a very pleasant journey.

Save a seat for me .....
I was at a very important meeting one day sat around a table with high ranking police officers and solicitors. There were the usual glasses and jugs of water for anyone to help themselves which I did, or tried to! I kept ‘pouring ‘ but no water was coming out. The table erupted into fits of laughter as I’d failed to realise the lids were still on and in the closed position

I lost a saucepan.

There aren't many places an object can hide on a narrow boat. Over the last week I've searched all the sensible and all the stupid places. Eventually I gave up, thinking I must have put it in the rubbish bin in a moment of vagueness.

Yesterday I bought a replacement and as I ducked to come in through the door I realised my mistake. I had not searched the totally insane places. It was on the top shelf of the bookcase where I had put it to catch the drips from a leak in the roof.

I know its going to be crowded on the bus but please, I really need help!

A friend of mine went abroad on holiday with her DH and 3 DCs. They were staying in a self catering cottage for 2 weeks. When they arrived at the airport for their return flight they had missed the flight because they had put their watches forward an hour instead of back at the start of the holiday and hadn't noticed they had been 2 hours out for the duration. NB everyone - not only is it mother's day next week but the clocks go forward. I have more than once arrived at church an hour late after the spring clock change and once arrived more than an hour early one October to set something up for the 10:30 service and interrupted the 08:00 communion service complete with 2 small children. I managed to get them out again without the congregation noticing but the curate teased me about it for quite a while afterwards.
With my previous car I regularly tried to get in the wrong one as someone in the village had one the same colour make and model and always parked in the same car park as me. After the first time it happened you'd think I'd have checked, but no!

Unfortunately this isn’t funny. A couple of years ago I got a new iPad, was ready to transfer all my files etc to new one, when someone popped in to see me, then I picked up old iPad and deleted everything, photos, notes, research etc., thinking I had already transferred across, I hadn’t, so I lost loads of stuff, never quite got over that.

However I am guilty of never knowing which pocket in my bag holds my bus pass, loyalty card etc, so I may be on the van/bus.

I'm glad to see that other people hop into strangers' cars at the drop of a hat. I did it not once, not twice, but three times in the year before I retired (obviously it's a good job I did!). Colleagues used to pick me up regularly as I yomped up the road to work and I just assumed they'd all stopped for me. One was parking up, one had stopped for a friend who was walking behind me, the other was a teenager who had pulled up at a temporary traffic light. I'll never forget the look of sheer terror on his face when I jumped in and slammed the door shut!

Save me a place in the van please, but I can't guarantee I'll get in the right one!

Years ago I was with a chap and a dog came rushing up.

"Wonder what the dogs name is" I smiled.

"His names on it ", the chap replied.

"On it ! On it ! Good Boy On It," I said to the dog..

My husband said it was at that exact point he decided to marry me !!

I once went to the wrong airport for my return journey from holidays. Paid for a taxi (£132) to the next county to catch the plane. Nerve racking experience, I haven't flown since. Also, I went to the fridge one day for milk for a much needed cup of tea after shopping. I found a carton of fabric conditioner where the milk should have been and of course the milk was in the under the sink cupboard. I've always been a bit scatty

The worst one for us was when my DH booked a winter holiday to Malta because my 89 year old Mum had always wanted to go. Fast forward a couple of months and we arrive at Valetta airport for the evening flight to Gatwick. Teenage son goes off for a walk and says there's no flight to Gatwick only to Stansted. Hurried phone call to my brother who wasn't hsppy at having to turn out at 11pm on a cold foggy night to pick us up at Stansted. Next day was spent driving to pick up the car that had been left at Gatwick. Since then he isnt allowed to book any flights

Is there room in the van for me too! I have also turned up a week early for a doctor's appointment. Receptionist was quite amused (fortunately) and said it was better than being a week late. She even asked if I wanted to sit and wait till the end of surgery (2 hours later) and they might be able to fit me in. But I felt a bit foolish by then so said I'd return the following week on the right day.

Ginny42 I love that! I'm sure the BT engineer welcomed a customer being so friendly!