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Paternal grandmother

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Grammaretto Sun 24-Mar-19 17:40:37

What was it like when your DC were growing up? Did you divide your time equally between both sets of DGP?

Just saying. We had mostly sons so have 3 Dil who all parents but we spend more time with our DDs children.
Once I mentioned to another set of DGP that they saw so much of the DGC. Whereas for us it's twice a year if we're lucky.
" But we only see them when they're sick" was the reply. It's true when Dil went back to work the nursery wouldn't accept the DC if they weren't 100% fit so Monday mornings there'd be a phone call to her mum and dad.
Once DGD referred to them as her real grandparents. That hurt.

I hope you can build and keep a good relationship with them all. Don't call them the opposition which is what friends of ours do! There will be something special that only you can do.

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Gingergirl Sun 24-Mar-19 17:17:49

I know this subject has come up before but I just don’t know how to deal with it. My DILs mother is forever spending time with the grandchildren whereas I see them every few months. It’s not to do with distance (neither of us is close)but with the fact that my DIL is utterly attached to her own mother (who is extremely dominating) and doesn’t seem to be able to do anything without her help/presence. This has only really been such an issue since the children were born (3 and 1 yr). My son just lets things be...I think he just wants a quiet life..I do feel left out, although I don’t think that is the intention. But also, I feel that our side of the family has so little influence (or perhaps that’s not the right word). I don’t want the children to grow up only being familiar with one family’s way of living. We are quite different in our attitudes etc. And yet, what right do we have to expect to influence them in any way at all really? AIBU about this? Will it all change when they go to school and have a whole different range of experiences? I don’t want to feel like I’m ‘nothing’ in their lives. I should say that I still work and so even if I was invited to, I couldn’t spend long periods of time at their house, as my DILs mother does. Sorry for rambling on and would love to hear others’ experiences.

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