Mothers Day is cancelled

Alexa that’s a very unkind post. If threads about Mothers Day upset you so much, then just don’t click on them. I could say something about why today’s Mothers Day was particular special for me and DD but suffice it to say we have nothing to be smug about and everything to be grateful for. Of course I feel for those who are not in this position but that’s true on lots of threads. I don’t post about very personal issues on GN and the only thing I am open about is my disability. There are posts which talk about the pleasures and activities that posters enjoy because they are clearly fully mobile, including activities with dgc, which are completely closed to me. I don’t go on those threads and accuse non- disabled people of being smug. I’m sorry if MD has touched a nerve in your personal life.

Alexa, not one bit smug here. It's been a struggle. My own mother was vile tome on the phone this morning. My AC are coming over, we will spend a pleasant hour or 2.

These festivals can really press your buttons if you feel a bit low.

The trip to the Turkish restaurant yesterday had to be abandoned because DD1 didn't feel up to it so we asked them to sort out a take-away instead and they did us proud. DD2 and I collected it and when we saw how crowded the restaurant was with families (lots of young children) obviously celebrating a day early, we realised it was a far better bet and more relaxing to stay at home.

Phew!!

A quiet day today. The roast is almost ready and as there will only be three of us I'll soon be able to put my feet up.

It's a tricky day for lots of people - emotions can be all over the place. Sending hugs for those who need them.

How sad Alexa for you , I am making my own dinner/lunch , homemade soup home made bread and vintage cheese (bought )

If a poster raises the issue of Mother's Day and expresses her disappointment in her partner's attitude, it is surely inevitable that people will relate their own experiences - good or bad.

There have been lots of different opinions and supportive words on this thread but I don't think there has been a great deal of "smugness".

It can be a very difficult day for a number of reasons.

Mothers' Day divides smug mothers from women who have not given birth, have lost their child in one way or another, who have ungrateful offspring. Keep a day for your mother by all means but shut up about it. It's private .

Absolutely Lily.

Happy Mother’s Day Muffin. for you today.

Muffin I'm hoping you have received a surprise from your OH to-day. if not please accept these flowers

You are amazing Grandad1943. I ducked out of doing the family dinner this year and I'm only a couple of years older than you! I'm leaving it to daughter.

GoneGirl, I am seventy-five but thankfully still fully fit and working near full time in my company.

I do Mothers day lunch for the family every year, and it always seems to go down really well with taxis required to get them home every time. I view that as an achievement on my part.

Anyway better get on again.

I mean - slightly older. Not old.

Grandad1943 sounds great! You are a 'new'/old man.

Grandad , at the risk of sounding like a bitter old crone, women do that over and over again for years.

But the fan shaped serviettes are impressive.

Have a nice day!

I will be cooking lunch today for my wife and our three daughters with their families ( eleven in total)

So far, all the vegetables are peeled and ready, table nicely laid with serviets set in fan style in glasses etc, wine in the fridge (well, all I can get in there). Timings for everything I have written down to ensure I do not forget anything

The menu will be prawn cocktails or Pate, Roast Beef and all the trimmings, Apple pie followed by Cheese and Biscuits.

All the family will be arriving at @ 1:00pm for "mingling and nuts + nibbles" with service starting at approx 1:45pm.

I shall ensure that there will be copious amounts of wine available with each course, so Taxies will have to be ordered to get them all home this evening.

Just sorting out the background music for the lunch but with streaming these days, Google can virtually take care of that on its own.

So far so good I am pleased to say. After all that preparation I could do with a large glass of wine already, but I better had not.

Like lots of these “days” Mother’s Day has become very commercialised - it always angered me that the bunch of flowers selling for £1 one week was now £5. So when my girls were small I banned them from buying me cards and presents and encouraged them to make something for me. This backfired one year when they were around 10 and 8 though - they arrived at my bedside with homemade cards and the biggest bunch of daffodils you ever saw. “Where did these come from” I asked. “We found them!” came the reply ... oops! BTW muffin - order yourself a big bouquet on his credit card, whilst your ordering the MIL’s!

I would feel upset Muffin to, would tell him so as welI, the would get the gift and card for his mother from you and children.

Muffin I’m so sorry you are faced with this unhappy situation. You need to sit down with your husband and talk about it. You need to tell him how unhappy you feel. It’s not really about flowers, as you say. You feel unappreciated and the Mothering Sunday scenario has just been the catalyst for how you feel. Please find the right moment to get him to listen, about lots of things. He has a social life which three small children don’t allow you to have. It’s really very one-sided and unfair. It’s not just about next Sunday. Please, please talk. Sending you lots of hugs.

DH never bought his mother a card. I did all the " wife work" . He always said I was not his mother when I suggested a treat for Mothering Sunday. This was after the children had left home and I would feel a bit bleak if they forget (Mother's Day is not the same in other countries and they were living abroad.) but he is a very generous present giver on all other occasions and I suspect secretly rings up to remind them.
Op please remind yourself that it's a very hard job being a young mum especially when living with an unkind and heartless and rude person like your OH . I suspect that you deserve better.

you are a stay at home mum by his request?
I think he may be doing you down and reducing your input in family life,and this ones that sound good for the long term.Do you get out at all without the kids or him, or have you given up everything you do for yourself? Be careful you're not consumed by what he wants,it's supposed to be a partnership.

You have cared for him,given over your body to carry his children over 2 years and he can't be bothered to organise the kids to get a card and a small gift and do breakfast dinner and tea so you get to put your feet up?
Words fail me.

Muffinthemoo you are NOT being unreasonable.

I agree that like most events, it's become commercialised and gets out of hand, but you do deserve recognition and I hope your children appreciate you. (I know, it's just one day, but Mothering Sunday used to remind us, even as children to make Mum a cuppa, give her breakfast in bed - she was often up before us! - or buy her a bunch of flowers,

I think you should ask your husband to organise flowers for his own mother, given the occasion and have a mini-protest. I know - it seems most women in families tend to be the card-senders, date-rememberers etc. It seems petty to not do it, but you ought to ask why his mother is deserving and you aren't.

Hi Muffin that would make me very annoyed, If he wants to send flowers and card to his mother he should do that.
After all it is his mother, when MIL was alive I used to prompt my husband if he didn't choose to do anything that was up to him.
I always bought my mother something every year my husband would have never bought her anything.
He didn't buy his father, me or the children cards or presents for birthdays or Christmas that's just the way he is.
You have to let it go and look at the other things in your life which make up for these irritations.

Where as I don't see why his mother should suffer, I still feel you should cancel the flowers and tell him to arrange something himself. He's still got time.