Mothers Day is cancelled

If he “ can’t be bothered “ to acknowledge yiu for any special occasion especially your birthday and Christmas why are you still married to him? He treats you like dirt

Oh muffin, I feel so sad for you. My late DH was a paragon and I got spoiled rotten. And my children always were and still are wonderful with a card and a little present. I remember when they were little they saw a Mothering Sunday breakfast in bed recipe on Blue Peter and made it for me because DH was on night shift and not home. 'Californian Egg Crackles' it was called and I still have my daughter's hand written recipe - she was about 9 I think. You need to treat yourself.

Attack may be the best form of defence. Will you be seeing MiL? Maybe she will ask you what you got for mother's day, then you can tell her.

Another tactic would be to really go over the top on Father's Day - breakfast in bed, a massage, his favourite meal, candlelit dinner and a DVD cuddled up on the sofa, a film of his choice of course, lots of action and something he knows you won't really enjoy, beer served at the arm of his chair. Get the children to make a simple gift and hand him a card and give him lots of cuddles. Perhaps he'll get the idea.

He doesn't acknowledge Valentine's day, wedding anniversary, my birthday or Christmas for me, but... I don't know

How absolutely sad and enraging at the same time muffin. What does he do that makes you feel cherished?

But it’s not mother’s day yet what if he’s teasing you and you get a card and a present anyway I think your judging too soon wait till Sunday and see

You should order some flowers for yourself, when you're doing your MIL's. You certainly deserve them !

Re MIL's flowers: whatever else she may be, she is my children's grandmother and I won't let that go unacknowledged for as long as it's my responsibility to maintain their family relationships. Whatever they choose to do as adults is on them, but I choose to behave courteously.

Thank you ladies for the rest of your posts. I wondered if maybe I was just feeling sorry for myself (Mothers Day was celebrated in both our families of origin as A Very Big Deal, so there isn't a mismatch of historical expectations going on) but I feel a bit more reasonable now seeing that other people think he was a bit off there.

He doesn't acknowledge Valentine's day, wedding anniversary, my birthday or Christmas for me, but... I don't know. This feels different. Probably because it's him choosing not to do something on behalf of the children.

When I said a present and card, I honestly meant a chocolate orange or something, I'm really very easy to please!

I think I would just appreciate an acknowledgement or some positive reinforcement, you know? A "you're doing your best" token of appreciation?

Well, he is consistent, can't be bothered to do anything for his mum or for you! I guess you will have to wait until your children are old enough to show their own appreciation. Under the circumstances I would have repeated his own words to him.

I have to admit it’s been a thorn over the years in this house too, I lost my mother when my eldest was 2, after that my mil assumed she would spend the day with us, me waiting on her had and foot as normal. I had 3 close together and worked full time and resented that she came first. My DH just couldn’t say no to her, and I would perhaps get some flowers, but no help entertaining the in-laws for the weekend.

Now they have all passed and the children are grown it’s different, I always get flowers/chocolates, it means more now, they do it themselves, not because dad told them to.

That said, if it’s just an ordinary day, couldn’t you arrange to go out with some girl friends, or visit your mum. A day for you without the children, not the spirit of Mother’s Day I know, but I think you deserve something.

So glad all is well with the family but why the big fuss? Maybe he could do a lovely home cooked meal for the next week or so....that would mean a lot.

My DS is taking his wife and tiny children out to lunch. I will get a phone call, flowers and a card which he will have bought himself. Not all young dads are thoughtless.

Yes, it's become a bit commercialised nowadays but I think your DH ought to give you a card/small present despite this. It would be a good example to his children, apart from appreciation of all you do for them and him.

When my daughters were young we attended Church on Mothering Sunday and every mother was given a bunch of flowers from their children during the service.

One of my sons gets quite hot under the collar about what he calls 'Hallmark' days, but I usually get a card hand-made by his lovely wife and he does always get me flowers.

My DD is the most kindest, unselfish person ever. She never forgets ( bless her heart) . This will be her first mother’s day after having her little miracle baby girl. I have a lovely surprise waiting for her on Sunday. Fingers on lips ?

I would wait for ever for so much as a text or phone call from my DS and DDiL .

@muffinthemoo so sorry your DH is so thoughtless and tactless! He could organise the kids to make a card rather than buy one. As my Mum used to say "it's the thought that counts".

I'm not sure if anyone in my house will remember MD either. One of my kids is now estranged (see Finito post) and not sure the others will remember... I'd be happy with a home made card tbh.

In my humble opinion Mr Muffin is being a miserable sod

Wow! I'm sure he could spare the time to pop in to a shop and get a card and a few flowers as your children are too young to do it themselves. I'd let him sort his own mother out.

Yes Mothering Sunday is an ancient Christian tradition to do with mother churches and is celebrated on the fourth Sunday in Lent. But Mother’s Day was an American revival to celebrate motherhood in June I think.
I agree it’s crassly over commercialised here now ( I have seen an advert offering a discount to those spending over £150) BUT Mothering is important and should be celebrated imho. Muffin you are a saint and need a special day to celebrate that. I’d buy a Hallmark St Muffin card any day! to you. ?

I had three children similar ages to yours muffin and DH never bought me a present or card for MD either.....but I didn’t expect it. The children, once at school, all made lovely MD cards, and at church were given a few flowers to present to Mum.As they got older they used their pocket money for a gift for me.
Nowadays have noticed a trend for husbands to ‘spoil’ their wives ( not their Mother, is she?) a bit strange really.A friend says her DS takes his own wife out on MD and fits in a ten minute visit to her ( his Mother) the day before.
Perhaps it was all started by grumpy wives in order to get gifts and meal out.
Everyone has children who will grow up and hopefully remember Mum on MD.

There is no way I would organise flowers for DH's mother, if he wants her to think kindly of him on Mothering Sunday, then he has to make the effort himself.

DH is mildly resentful that our children won't think of planning to come and see me on the day unless he offers them a meal, he says I am not his mother after all (I am still the mother who provided him with four children!)

Two of them will come, one is having her own birthday on that day, so we will all go over there afterwards, and one family is abroad, which apparently means they can conveniently forget birthdays, mother's days, Christmas etc.

I used to love the hand made cards from the children when they were school age, they meant much more than profits for the card companies. I am lucky that some of them still write lovely messages in their cards.

Just wondered, we have charity Christmas cards, why not charity cards for other days?

Bradford, I'd have to disagree there. its the other 364 days of the year that matter.

For whatever reason he works long hours out of the home and Muffin has the little 'uns.....both tiring jobs.

They should get the ghastly inlaws to house sit and go away as a couple.

How breathtakingly insensitive, not just to you but to his own mother. He can't even be bothered to respect the woman who brought him up and loved him, let alone the one who's currently rearing his own children.

I hope your children are booked into playschool or kindergarten where they will learn that other people treat their mothers with respect, and not just observe the lamentable role model of their father.

It is NO excuse that he works long hours. So do YOU

It's Father's day that is the hallmark card day, not Mothering Sunday.
I hope you at least get breakfast in bed. You tell him!!
OH means well but he may need the DC to remind him. His mum will get something from us both.

Oh dear ! Is he the kind of guy who will think about what he's said and done and correct it or not. ?
Do you do anything special for fathers day? If yes then I'd deal with him when he gets home tonight and damn well make sure he sorts something from the kids at least. He is teaching them to "Not bother" . If you don't do anything to celebrate fathers day then maybe he's letting you know it upsets him. .If it's just typical of him I'd make sure you " can't be bothered " when he wants you to be !?