Are Postmen/Postwomen friendly, nosey or both?

Well out postman is nosy and a gossip. He is always late, in fact we know when he's on holiday and our post arrived 2 - 3 hours earlier. I don't know how he gets away with it.

I am glad I found this thread. My daughter is 6 weeks pregnant and had to order anti sickness tablets. Her nosy postman commented on them and gave her a knowing look and she is so devastated. The chances of her carrying this baby to term are low
I very much hope Charlotte that your DD’s fears of losing this baby will prove unfounded, it must be so worrying for you all. Many of us have been in your situation and it is heartbreaking.
However I would caution about buying any medication by internet/ post, particularly in the early stages of pregnancy - or in fact at any stage, actually. One should not be self medicating (even supplements may be contra indicated) at this vulnerable time.
And any product which specifically relates to pregnancy should also not indicate its contents on the packaging. This is bad practice and should be reported to the manufacturer/supplier/trading standards.

Our postman is not nosy and never gossips about others. We talk about family etc but nothing too sensitive.
But for those of you who regularly have their hair done ....do not go to the village hair dresser....they not only know e erybody's business, but they also are make damn sure, all the clients knows each other's business. So I don't go there

Everyone is different and of course post men/women are too. It may be that he is trying (unsuccessfully) to be friendly and caring but discussing other people's post is totally unacceptable and should be reported.
I am in a quite rural area and I suspected our previous post lady was in training for a marathon she was so fast! Alternatively she may have had the dreaded 'targets' to meet!
Our current lady is lovely, and always has a friendly smile and a word if I see her. She has also, a couple of times, knocked at my door to alert me to the fact that I have left my keys in the door.

We have had a number of different post persons over the years, they all seem very friendly but not particularly talkative.
Your postie does seem somewhat too nosy I think I would ignore his comments and not make conversation next time you see him.
He'll get the message if you use this tactic.

Larsonsmum - my son is a postman and to date he has rung emergency services on two occasions as the occupants have collapsed, and in one case was choking. So you see not all postmen are nosey, some actually care, perhaps you may need them yourself in an emergency some day.

charlotte I am a little confused as to what kind of anti-sickness tablets are ordered by post and why on earth would they be labelled on the outside of the packet? Are you in the UK? If the label was on the outside he could hardly fail to read it if he had to read the address.

Now I feel as if I am being as nosey as the postman. My apologies. Perhaps the company sending the package needs to amend their labelling.

Yes, I think he is overstepping the mark but he may not realise it.

I'd say as little as possible to him - just thank him. He'll get the message. I suppose, if he persists, you could say something to him.

However, as other posters have said, he could one day help you if you ever needed assistance. Stranger things have happened.

I am glad I found this thread. My daughter is 6 weeks pregnant and had to order anti sickness tablets. Her nosy postman commented on them and gave her a knowing look and she is so devastated. The chances of her carrying this baby to term is low and now she is worried he will gossip about her. He should categorically not have even looked at the package as it’s none of his business. He is good because he leaves packages in a safe place for them but that does not give him the right to do this. She is so upset and I don’t blame her. If it was up to me I would complain about him!

I feel like you should write yourself some strange postcards and see if he can resist making comments about things he shouldn't have seen.

It sounds like he is being friendly, but also nosey, wonder what he would say if you had a delivery from Ann Summers. [

I agree with kwest you may be very glad one day if he raises the alarm one day if you don't open the door as he knows you have health issue.

I was baby sitting for DD one day, half a mile away. The postman knocked to deliver a parcel and when he saw me he said "Oh it's you! I've got a parcel for your son in the van, would you like to take it?" So that was one trip to the sorting office avoided,

He may not realise he's being nosey, some people don't, and engaging his customers in conversation probably makes his day a little more interesting than just stuffing letters in doors. But his questions do seem rather intrusive. I would probably say with a smile "Are you always so nosey?" If he says he's just being friendly, reply: "OK, then we'll just keep it businesslike shall we."

Our posties are lovely, always cheerful whatever the weather. We recently installed a large parcel box by our front door (I shop online a lot) and our postie was thrilled, said he wished more people had them as it saves him a lot of time looking for a neighbour to take a parcel.

I would be inclined to ' keep him onside'. He may save your life one day. If he keeps saying things like " you get a lot of whatever", just smile and say "Thank you, Yes we do, don't we?".

For those asking - I am 61, so I do not think I am old!! We've been in our current rural location 35 years and have had numerous postmen/postwomen in that time. Have always chatted with all of them, and have absolutely no problem with that, and yes, always given them a Christmas gift.

This is something else with this guy though. A neighbour, (that means a mile away!!) has been having the same issue with him going on about the cost of keeping her horses, and just told me yesterday that she had to advise him it was wrong of him to be telling her what another neighbour had been receiving in their mail. That is a concern, as when he delivered Garden Centre newsletter and vouchers to me a month or so back he did tell me who else in the neighbourhood had received them that day too.

Anyway, all your great advice taken on board, thanks !!

I'm in a city but feel slightly disconcerted when my regular postman of many years is off duty. Recently I was frustrated by a jar I couldn't open, he was the first person to pass my house so I rushed out and he cheerfully opened it for me.
One postwoman locally runs between houses. I said I expected that kept her fit and she told me how much weight she'd lost since she started running.
OP - I'm very chatty to all and sundry but would not enjoy the intrusive comments you're getting. A Paddington Bear stare and 'Sorry??' as I firmly shut the door would probably be my reaction. What a cheek!
I complained to the private hire firm I use when a driver started asking about my presumed husband. At the time I said 'That's a very personal question' and stopped the conversation. Sometimes people cross a line.

It could be he is trying to be friendly and chatty all be it in a clumsy insensitive way.

Maybe try and desensitize yourself from the banter and say something like, "It's all these secret admirers I have sending me presents but I rely on a discrete postman not to say anything", with a wink.

Or if that's not you then something like I rely on the good family and friends I have around me to send me things as I am unable to get out much.

I hope you get past the uncomfort and forge a good relationship with your postie.

Oh just smile nod and don’t engage op.

Way way way OTT to mention bullying or contacting the post office for goodness sake!

Jees!!

Why you think he is intrusive, I don’t know. I’d rather have a friendly postie that you can build a relationship with than a miserable soured-faced one. Accept he is an asset. We here in the North UK will talk to anybody, anywhere, about anything.

I think he is being too familiar with you. Some people may like this sort of talk, and some not. he obviously has not picked up that you would rather keep things a bit more formal.
So you have to change your body language so that he gets the message. As other people say, smile, and do not respond in any other way to the comments.
I once had a cleaner comment on some knitting I had in my room when I stayed at a holiday place. I found this intrusive and rude. Good job I hadn’t left my rubber knickers out!

The questioning is intrusive if one party feels it is. Customers have a right to privacy. There are boundaries and it does seem that they have been overstepped here. There's lots of good suggestions that the op can take up.

Pretend you did not catch the remark and make some cheery comment comment about an unrelated topic. Develop an ongoing conversation about dogs or holidays - the weather would be a bit too obvious.

It always amazes me that Postman Pat still has a job anyway, Tuppnce, seeing as he's always losing parcels out of his van, delivering the wrong things to the wrong people, and getting his head stuck in trees (etc). It must be the chat that keeps him in employment!

Hear hear Breeze
It can’t be the best fun job trudging round doorsteps in all weathers, surely a little friendly chat occasionally is what makes the world go round? Might brighten his day too?
We hear enough grumps about checkout assistants who just grunt and fail to make eye contact, about being overlooked by waiters or baristas in coffee shops, surely it is not overstepping any mark to be friendly to an older lady?
And the day may come when any one of us might be grateful that a postman has had no response when there would usually be someone at home.
Postman Pat wouldn’t have lasted long if he hadn’t been a cheerful and friendly postman, along with his cat!

Good post breeze we have two postmen deliver to us one is a really friendly guy always speaks the other on is a miserable git and guess what one get’s a Christmas box.