Unwanted Xmas gift

I'm also one of those people who just don't appreciate 'fancy toiletries and perfumes' - and yet some of the younger female members of my family insist on buying them for me ................. I try to 'drop hints', but they seem to fall on deaf ears. I'd really HATE to hurt their feelings.

The number of bottles of 'good perfumes' that are sitting on the top shelf of my wardrobe are becoming embarassing :-(.

If somebody would only spend the same amount of money on the toiletries that I DO love, I'd be highly delighted. I've even tried asking for ASDA vouchers, so that I can buy what I really want ...................

I get a bit fed up with the same old 'smellies' or fragrance candles being given at Christmas. No imagination.
I prefer to buy my own...flowers too.
I think a Boots or Superdrug voucher would be far more acceptable as they sell a wide range of make-up alongside other useful products.
Even plants may not suit.
I'd rather have a Tesco voucher which can be used for lots of things, flowers included.
A friend gave me a huge box of Sanctuary products which took a year to use up. I like the brand but already had baskets full of my own purchases which were being used.

Like Dots story, my mil NEVER regifts. I think its such a shame/waste.

She likes a very specific perfume and soap. Anything else is kept indefinitely and gathers dust on shelves in her bathroom. Its like a wall of gift shame there is a soap set on there that DH gave her before we were married!!!

It is effective though I suppose because now we only buy "her" brands, which she uses

There are two things that IMO you should never pick for someone else (unless you know the exact one they want):

Perfume (incl purfumed products) and art/decor.

Too personal IMO.

You dont want to walk around smelling like someone else

I only but purfumed products for people if I know their exact favotite products.

It doesnt mean they werent grateful for the gift. It just means that they prefer to smell like themselves, not like you. That isnt an insult, its just a very individual personal thing.

At least theu tried to get it recycled/passed on to someone who might use it.

You can only save so many toiletries for future use, then you run out of space. At our age, will we live long enough to use them all? She could have been more discreet when moving them on to a new home though. I would also have been upset.

What I do with unwanted gifts is to mark them so that I remember who gave them ...inconspicuously of course ... and then pass them to raffles or charity where I know that certain person would never go.

I rarely buy toiletry sets as gifts having never forgotten helping empty my Gran's bathroom cupboards after she died and finding box after box of them carefully stashed away and never used. Didn't help I suppose that Gran had 21 grandchildren so got lots of the sets as gifts through the year. I have given vouchers/flowers/chocolates and found they usually go down better than a toiletry set as a rule.

I've had the same thing happen myself - but even worse, that same present appeared at several other raffles throughout the year ! (knew it was the same because I had added extra ribbon tied in a certain way)

If it was first prize she obviously appreciated the value - probably not her taste but I am sure she would be mortified to realise she hurt you - I would try to let it pass and maybe ask her for suggestions next time?

A few years ago I had forgotten a colleague’s 40th birthday and quickly regifted a toiletry set that I had received months before from another friend ( no connection so wouldn’t be known). I thought the thank you was a bit OTT but realised much later that the set was an expensive, designer range. I still cringe when I think how much it had cost my friend - I am much more careful now!

Oh dear, but laugh it off, next time a voucher and if you’re feel8ng a bit miffed, make it a book voucher,

Unwanted gifts, in boxes or labelled, donated to charity shops have double value. They raise money for said charity and means that others, myself included, can buy them at a much reduced price, either as gifts or for themselves. I have a box and cupboard that is beginning to fill up again ready for this year's gifts.
It may well be that the OP received two sets and donated one, or, like me, bought it at a reasonable discount as the main prize. Your generous gift might well be used up now by your friend.

Alas, I go to charity shops a lot and there are always boxes of lovely smellies on sale there at very cheap prices. I tend to think when I am given them that that is where they came from, and that is where they go back to.
Not as bad as the awful grey woollen shawl given to me by my daughter in law 2 Christmases ago. I was filled with dismay but had to pretend gratitude. Why do people think when you are in your 70s you want a stupid shawl, even if by M and S? I told my son not to bother with presents for me as I would always prefer a nice plant.

OhTelly that must have felt a bit of a kick in the teeth twice really. First when your relative put your gift in the raffle albeit first prize and the second when the winner said that to you. It happened to me once when a friend made up a 'beauty' basket for a charity raffle. I won it and in it were items from gifts I had given her previously. I then donated the basket to another charity raffle.
But just to make you laugh a little about 4 years I was in the Post Office and on the counter were raffle tickets in aid of the little local museum. I bought some and put the tickets in my bag and totally forgot about it. Two months later I get a phone call from a young Portuguese woman speaking in English to tell me I had won the raffle. When I asked what the prize was she replied that I had won a little piggy. You can inagine how my mind raced wondering where I would keep a little pig in my garden. Turns out it was a whole Leitão or suckling pig ready cooked. Not that I receieved it for another few months.

The winner probably didn't know you had donated it. I doubt she was trying to hurt your feelings or disrespect you. I'd rather have chocolates than toiletries any day, because I am a greedy pig for chocolates and not all that interested in personal grooming products just use cheap supermarket soap and shampoo. It sounds like you made a lovely donation which sadly went to a greedy chocolate hog like me. That's life and the luck of the draw

I also get posh toiletries sets at Christmas and Birthdays and invariably donate them to charities or the food bank. I use my own choice, mainly Dove, products day to day and have found that anything else upsets my skin. I do take great care to donate them somewhere that the original doner will not see them.

I think these fancy sets are a waste of money anyway as usually only one or two of the things get used and the rest moulders in the back of the bathroom cupboard. Last month we took 3 raffle prizes to a pub quiz fundraiser and won 2 of them back.

Yep NanaSuzy - I just have enough 'stuff'. I get raffle tickets (for the good cause y'know) - and pray I don't win. If I do, I'm afraid friends know me well enough to know that prize will be coming round again!

I actually don't like either giving or receiving 'gifts' at the set times of the year. Fed up with trying to think what people might like or want, likewise bored with receiving stuff I neither like nor want. It's a merry-go-round that after all these years I'd like to get off. Perhaps I'll start a new political party the 'No present party'. Got to be more popular than any of the current parties.

Nanabilly-Bayliss and Harding? I agree; they used to be a bit special, but they're everywhere now.

I’m with your friend I’m afraid - I really don’t like toiletries as presents, and I certainly wouldn’t be miffed, upset, sad, let down or angry if anyone gave anything I’d given them to charity etc.

Whereas plants, chocs and especially bulbs or flower seeds are ALWAYS welcome!

At least she didn’t give it back to you as a gift in a subsequent year, which has happened to me!

Maybe you did NOT get it wrong.
Perhaps she tore it from her heart because she knew what a gorgeous gift it was??
(Only you know how high her genuine altruism ratings are.)

Lucky your friends and family can afford Chanel then Nanabilly

Some people just do not like toiletries as gifts .I have a friend who hates them and will immediately give them away if she gets any. She loves perfume and things she chooses herself but not toiletry sets of any sort , even good ones. I simply hate those sets available in every supermarket ..brand is called something and something ..the sets look pretty enough but the product inside is rubbish..I would hate for anyone to buy me any of that. Now a nice Chanel set I would not cock my nose at.

I'd have been hurt, too. I'd have said something, especially as you're related to the organiser. I would have confronted her by saying "isn't that the stuff I got you for Christmas?" and waited for her reaction. I certainly wouldn't get her anything so nice again.

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