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Unwanted Xmas gift

(65 Posts)
Telly Fri 05-Apr-19 11:05:06

I went to a fundraiser last week. The first prize in the raffle was a Xmas gift I had given to the organiser! The lady who won it said she would rather have had my prize - a £5 box of chocs. The gift was chosen with care, high end toiletries, beautifully presented, which I thought the recipient would love. I have of course not said anything, but I obviously got it so wrong. AIBU to think I might as well give up and just get a voucher or a pot plant? I did/do feel a bit hurt. (I am related to the organiser, BTW)

Ilovecheese Fri 05-Apr-19 11:08:11

Are you sure it was exactly the same one? Could it be possible that the organizer liked it so much that they bought another set to donate to the raffle.

lemongrove Fri 05-Apr-19 11:09:01

Telly she had obviously forgotten who gave it to her!
I can see you would feel hurt though.
Buy chocs or flowers/plant next time.
There could be a good reason why she can’t use ‘smellies’ or just had too much given at Christmas?

sodapop Fri 05-Apr-19 11:10:27

Yes I would have been hurt too Telly especially when you had taken such care choosing the gift. Tactless of the recipient as she knew you would be at the event. I would be tempted to ask if she had an allergy to those particular toiletries so you didn't make the same mistake again !!!!

Telly Fri 05-Apr-19 11:12:24

Yes, I am fairly sure. It was not widely available and expensive. Not really the sort of thing you would just buy as a gift for a fundraiser. I guess it is possible that she just had too much, but I would think they always come in useful. It was a beautiful gift and I know its the sort of thing she likes. I think you must be right about forgetting who gave it to her!

EllanVannin Fri 05-Apr-19 11:17:37

Or maybe some people don't know quality when they see it ?

BlueBelle Fri 05-Apr-19 12:50:01

Oh dear i d be pipped off too
Maybe a much much cheaper present next year

SpringyChicken Fri 05-Apr-19 13:57:06

My friends have the right idea. We love each other to bits but we don't give Christmas presents.

luluaugust Fri 05-Apr-19 14:55:12

Definitely something smaller next year! I bet she did forget who had given it to her, if not..........

quizqueen Fri 05-Apr-19 15:05:28

Personally, I wouldn't waste my money on giving her anything next year and tell her why and that you have given to a charity of your choice on her behalf!. Yes, I am also guilty of passing on the odd unwanted gift but, to spare hurt feelings, I would make sure the giver knew nothing about it and certainly that they didn't attend an event where it had been donated to a raffle.

yggdrasil Fri 05-Apr-19 15:30:18

So you got it wrong. Her tastes are not the same as yours. For many years, I got a present every birthday and Christmas from both my sister and sister-in law, very similar things, but as it happened not anything I would want.
They both obviously were getting things they liked. So I passed each on to the other on their birthdays and Christmas.
Seemed fair :-)

shandi6570 Fri 05-Apr-19 16:49:24

Trying to put a different slant on this, maybe she was let down with prize donations and didn't have a good first prize, so used your present as a worthy substitute. I know she should have thought who gave it to her, but you know how everything else except the immediate problem goes out of ones head in a crisis. Just a thought.

Maggiemaybe Fri 05-Apr-19 17:08:23

At least it was first prize, Telly. I once donated some good quality toiletries to a raffle, that were packed in test tube containers in a wooden rack. The organiser described them over the tannoy as “a set of old sample bottles”! grin

sodapop Fri 05-Apr-19 17:22:10

Bet that hurt Maggiemaybe some people have no taste have they.

Maggiemaybe Fri 05-Apr-19 17:24:03

Just so, sodapop. smile

Grannydabest Fri 05-Apr-19 17:24:31

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SalsaQueen Fri 05-Apr-19 22:20:10

I'd have been hurt, too. I'd have said something, especially as you're related to the organiser. I would have confronted her by saying "isn't that the stuff I got you for Christmas?" and waited for her reaction. I certainly wouldn't get her anything so nice again.

Nanabilly Fri 05-Apr-19 22:34:48

Some people just do not like toiletries as gifts .I have a friend who hates them and will immediately give them away if she gets any. She loves perfume and things she chooses herself but not toiletry sets of any sort , even good ones. I simply hate those sets available in every supermarket ..brand is called something and something ..the sets look pretty enough but the product inside is rubbish..I would hate for anyone to buy me any of that. Now a nice Chanel set I would not cock my nose at.

sodapop Sat 06-Apr-19 08:36:50

Lucky your friends and family can afford Chanel then Nanabilly

Persistentdonor Sat 06-Apr-19 09:24:45

Maybe you did NOT get it wrong.
Perhaps she tore it from her heart because she knew what a gorgeous gift it was??
(Only you know how high her genuine altruism ratings are.)

Edithb Sat 06-Apr-19 09:32:06

At least she didn’t give it back to you as a gift in a subsequent year, which has happened to me!

BazingaGranny Sat 06-Apr-19 09:38:12

I’m with your friend I’m afraid - I really don’t like toiletries as presents, and I certainly wouldn’t be miffed, upset, sad, let down or angry if anyone gave anything I’d given them to charity etc.

Whereas plants, chocs and especially bulbs or flower seeds are ALWAYS welcome!

elleks Sat 06-Apr-19 09:53:51

Nanabilly-Bayliss and Harding? I agree; they used to be a bit special, but they're everywhere now.

NanaSuzy Sat 06-Apr-19 09:56:20

I actually don't like either giving or receiving 'gifts' at the set times of the year. Fed up with trying to think what people might like or want, likewise bored with receiving stuff I neither like nor want. It's a merry-go-round that after all these years I'd like to get off. Perhaps I'll start a new political party the 'No present party'. Got to be more popular than any of the current parties.

sandelf Sat 06-Apr-19 10:05:41

Yep NanaSuzy - I just have enough 'stuff'. I get raffle tickets (for the good cause y'know) - and pray I don't win. If I do, I'm afraid friends know me well enough to know that prize will be coming round again!