Unwanted Xmas gift

Well we do not have this problem in our family as there is a no present rule unless for the children . It makes Christmas shopping so much stressful .

I find that people generally choose presents which are to their own taste judylow so if that is true it would be great to get the same thing back

Edithb. Happened to me too but I thought it was funny.

I wish I could do that lincolnimp it's a look I really admire and is so elegant. Sadly I just look stupid ...sigh....

annaram1 I love my M&S shawls, so practical on car journeys, and that time between thick winter coats and no coats---especially over trousers and tunics.
I was converted when I saw a very elegant lady swish one over her shoulder. Not sure I look as elegant but have adopted the style.

There have been no snobby posts.

People saying that they want to chose what scents they do or dont wear isnt necessarily correlated to price!

Gosh ...some people would be over the moon to receive a Bayliss & Harding gift set ,myself included...seems to be a lot of snobbery about!

Oh dear, I'd have felt hurt too, especially as you'd chosen her favourite. She must have not realised it was your gift, I'm sure she wouldn't want to hurt your feelings.

My family generally know not to buy me "smellies". I have simple tastes and prefer to choose my own. I also hate the waste - to think they've spent quite a bit on something I don't actually like.

Personally I much prefer a promise of a few hours with the person, doing something nice. Even a walk along the beach and a coffee and cake. Or cinema trip together etc. Or a garden centre voucher. It's hard to buy things for me I think, and probably others too.

Some friends and I don't exchange gifts - we just go out for the day together.

I have a relative who insists on buying me expensive designer toiletries and perfumes.
Never ever buys the toiletries or perfume I use yet she is often in my house and bathroom!!
I cringe at the amount she spends thank the Lord for EBay ???

My own mother gives all her gifts away straight away unless it is 1. Her favourite sherry or 2. Her favourite perfume!

On Mothers Day last weekend my eldest sister bought her a really expensive cake (she should have known better!) Mum gave it to me and told me not to tell my sister, which is a bit wrong but the cake was lovely.

That must have been very hurtful for you Telly when you put a lot of thought into the gift. Personally I prefer to choose my own toiletries, and I would think most people have their own favourite stuff, and may be the reason why charity shops are inundated with toiletries post Christmas. I tend to give things to eat or drink these days.

Telly, I have sent you a PM regarding your post.

First world problem.
In my family we don't do 'gifts'. We do things, I'm taking my mum to afternoon tea in the Tower ballroom on Monday.
We'll have a nice time together and I won't be spending my money on something that either goes down the drain or in the bin.
Hang on a minute, I guess that, ultimately, it will go down the drain! Oh dear.
I know that sometime that isn't practical but we do get a lot more pleasure that way.

I have learned the hard way. I gave a hand made pearl necklace to be put up for auction for charity (I make jewellery).

It earned the princely sum of £5. It cost me more than that for all the components and wow did that hurt!

Another occasion last year I donated a lesser priced gemstone as raffle gift; the woman who won it said 'Great I'll give this to the kids'.

So, no more donating my treasures when they are not appreciated.

We used to have a Secret Santa at work.
One year one of the office staff gave a Christmas Pudding! Very unfortunate as it was supposed to be kept chilled and sat in the office for 2 weeks. That year the same person was given a lovely bubble bath and body lotion set. The following year they gave it back in the Secret Santa, to the person who had given it to them! Bad enough, but the body lotion had been opened and obviously used as there was a good inch out of it!
We all dreaded that she would get our name.

Another year the Secret Santa gift for one of the staff was an embroidered cushion with -
“Live like there is no tomorrow, Laugh like no one can hear you, Love like you’ve never been hurt.”
Might have been nice, apart from she was terminally ill and she had just cancelled her wedding as she had found out her fiancé had been cheating on her for 2 years! Not a very well thought out present!.

I'd say something rather than wondering. I do sympathize especially as the winner didn't appreciate it (either). Presumably she didn't know you were involved in it. ( (In a whisper...".There could, eventually, be a funny story here".)

it's such a problem trying to find suitable things and if they are then re-gifted or passed on, what is the point?

I think that if you dont know someone well enough to just ask what they would like, then you should prob stop giving them gifts.

Family know what toiletries I like, but I dread getting the boxed sets because they always contain things I don't use.

I'd much rather they spent less money on the bog standard big shower gel or body lotion than having a mixed box of mini sizes.

The whole idea of a raffle is to raise money, and hopefully to win a prize. Some prizes are good, others not so good - it’s all part of the ‘gamble’. An unwanted prize can always be ‘regifted’.

Makes you realise we all have so much really, and things we would be grateful for years ago are just run of the mill nowadays.
Most of us certainly don't need to be given presents anyway, it's such a problem trying to find suitable things and if they are then re-gifted or passed on, what is the point?

Was that Letterbox Flowers dragonfly? Sent my DD some of theirs for Mother's Day. She said they were lovely.

The best gift I have ever had was a bouquet of flowers popping through my letterbox every month for a year.
I hate smellies - they are never to my taste.

I would also argue that an expensive gift isnt a better more thoughtful gift.

We get very posh brand gifts from a particular family member... they demonstrate no thought whatsoever. There is nothing about the gifts that says "yeah they saw this and thought of notanan/nonanan's" etc. But they are given with a degree of ceremony which implies "you will like it because it cost ££" (as sporty DD unwraps a posh branded set of pink pjs with ballarinas on them, and gets told by the giver with a self satisfied smirk "they are (insert brand)" that they assume we dont buy because we cant afford to, rather than wouldnt chose which is why we own nothing like that!.

I do not think the OP comes across as thoughtless and self satisfied as those relatives, my point is that the cost of the toiletries is somewhat irrelevant if effort wasnt made to chose something the recipient would chose for themselves IYKWIM

I don't mind what anyone gives me, so long as they keep on giving. I do like presents.

I have very dry sensitive skin and can only use perfume free products. I have to use aqueous lotion otherwise my skin gets red and itchy. Therefore I get quite a few presents from customers that I just can’t use. I don’t feel able to tell the givers because I don’t want to hurt their feelings but I have to give them away, sadly.