Oh how I envy those of you who have/had a loving relationship with Mum. I was an only child and Mum told me, as a child, that my father didn't want children so she told him that she hoped that she died first and that he would be left alone with no one to look after him..I arrived after 10 years of marriage! Mum was widowed for 17 years and made my life so difficult with her demands and comparing me to her friends daughters. I feel wicked saying this, but felt a huge sigh of relief after she died. I did my best but it was never enough. Sorry, never said this to anyone before.