Fallen out with a friend

Eglantine you haven’t done anything wrong. Your friend invited you for a cheap chill out break, then changed the arrangements and expected you to pay for 3 days eating out in Rome! Now she is cross with you for not falling in with her changed plans.

Calls herself a “friend”
“User” more like
Completely agree with FlexibleFriend
Focus on your other friends as in my opinion you would be better off without this one.
Wishing you all the best and hopefully you don’t dwell on this as it’s not worth the bother ?x

Your friend is the one who has altered the original plans, not you. If she had told you how this was going to be from the off then as you say you wouldn't have gone. I'm thinking the expenses her work were going to pay her are not quite what she thought they would be regardless of that they wouldn't kick in till she had completed the trip. In your place I think you are quite justified in deciding not to go. If this situation was in reverse do you think she would be happy with the change of plans....NO.... she wouldn't.

Does she work for the media? It is evocative to me of people who work at break-neck speed & think of the consequences - and other people - later. Whatever line of business she is in I'd question whether you want to be treated so thoughtlessly & lightly.

She’s not a friend Drop her & move on
You deserve better treatment

Actually when I decided not to go ahead I hadn’t checked in, so I did offer my plane tickets for her husband or daughter.
Or another friend if she could get someone at short notice.

She said no.

With any luck he'll say he'll come with her for the weekend and completely scupper her plans. Haha, now that would be sweet, wouldn't it?

That would be brilliant Bathsheba

I can just imagine the conversation can you ?

You need a new friend who shows you some respect.

I did wonder why she hadn’t decided to spend the extra days with her husband in Rome being as it was his birthday weekend.
No disrespect to Eglantine 21 as I’m sure she is great company.

Well done gillybob, I am certain you are spot on. What a mean and nasty trick to play on someone you call a friend. Now she's in trouble, isn't she, because what is she going to tell her husband about those extra days?

With any luck he'll say he'll come with her for the weekend and completely scupper her plans. Haha, now that would be sweet, wouldn't it?

That wouldn’t cover changing your mind about going as technically OP would still be able to go

Eglantine do you not have travel insurance which would over the cost of the lost airfare?

The motives of this so called friend and completely irrelevant.

She is a liar and doesn't care for you or your safety.

Bye bye.

I agree. Just say thanks for the invitation but I have decided not to come. Don't get into any discussions about it. Of course if a friend invites you, you expect to see the sights together.She is being totally unfair.

Eglantine
Count your blessings and run. This is not. This is not friendship it is bullying. She wants it all on her terms and it is all about her. Take your escape route. She is not family so thankfully you do not have to put up with it. She would only be upsetting you.
Dawn

You are right not to feel bad. She is not a friend.

Oh my Lord. Gilly said it first and I didn’t really take it seriously but now some of you have got it where I didn’t. I think she doesn’t want me to come any more and it isall smoke and mirrors, even the rage

I thought I just had a very suspicious mind by saying what I said up thread Eglantine but when you think about it, it all seems to fit and you were just being used as some kind of cover up for the husband not to suspect a thing.

One simply doesn't offer overnight accommodation and a ride to the airport only to withdraw the invitation later.
If a friend invites a friend for a weekend in Rome surely it's natural to expect to enjoy each others company and explore the city together.
I doubt you would have enjoyed yourself so I think it was very sensible of you to cancel. Don't dwell on it. Perhaps you can organize an outing for yourself over the planned weekend.

Oh, give her the elbow, Eglantine. Your 'friend' is changing all the arrangements that she originally proposed. It is she who has let you down, not the other way around!

And apart from all the new travel arrangements you would now have to make incurring additional expenses, plus paying for her meals for three nights, she has now said that you would both 'do your own thing during the day'!!! How does that equate to a 'cheap, chill-out weekend and having a great time'? I, for one, would hate to be on my own for three days in a strange city!

And that is the real betrayal of her 'friendly' invitation.

What's she going to be doing on those three days, while you are wandering around Rome on your tod?

(And 'forgetting' her husband's birthday is a joke!)

No, you were somehow being her patsy, and you did absolutely the right thing to cancel. It's a shame that you've lost your flight money, but perhaps a cheap lesson to learn ...?

Cut your losses - and this conniving, manipulative person from your life. I'm sure there are many who deserve your friendship more!

I can't think of any reason why the OP was supposed to know that she was to pay for the food/meals just because the accommodation was laid on, because nothing was said.

By having a conversation about the plans/logistics?

As the OP said she will do in future

I can't think of any reason why the OP was supposed to know that she was to pay for the food/meals just because the accommodation was laid on, because nothing was said.
Also Eglantine21 there is no way you spoilt the friendship, your so called friend did that all by herself.

Maybe this will release you from what is a toxic friendship. and turn out to be a blessing that you now know what this person is really like.

If it had just been a misunderstanding then the "friend" would not have been so angry. As others have said she wanted an out and she is a manipulative person best avoided.

Ah well, at least I don’t feel bad about it any more. Thanks everyone ?

Oh my Lord. Gilly said it first and I didn’t really take it seriously but now some of you have got it where I didn’t. I think she doesn’t want me to come any more and it isall smoke and mirrors, even the rage.

And I think I know why she might need a change of plan.

She’d need a reason for her husband why I wasn’t going anymore wouldn’t she?

Oh oh, never saw that coming

We dont know why the friend is distancing from the OP and making it difficult for OP to continue with the holiday.

Just that she is.

I am not saying that these are the actions of a friend, I am saying that these are the actions of someone who doesnt want to be friends any more. I suspect this is not just about the meals.

Real friends wouldn't do that notanan- would they?

Isnt that the point though. Sounds like the "friend" doesnt want to be friends any more. And also doesnt want the OP to go to Rome any more either.

But also wants to be able to say they werent the one who cancelled.

Its the way a lot of people operate these days. Being upfront is shied away from

Although it does sound like there wasnt much communication in the friendshio to start with