Do I go NC?

I agree with grandad 1943. If anyone told me they did not like my lovey other half I would soon tell them (the person) where to go and have no more to do with them. Turn a page, blank, gone.

Did you not defend your dh at all? You could say something like we have been together a long time, and I love him very much and I won't listen to bad things said about him. She will then either elaborate or shut up.

She doesn't like or trust him? Nothing wrong with that. I know of a handful of people I don't like or trust but can't put my finger on exactly why: it's just a gut thing.

So what! - I say. We don't get on with every single person who's related to us via friendship or marriage.

I'm more interested in how your husband feels towards her, actually. Perhaps the feeling's mutual.

Had a stepmother like that. Seemed sugary sweet on the outside but tried to cause trouble for no reason at all. Nearly succeeded with her new daughter in law. Told both parties that the other had confided in her that they wanted out. Total lies but dil in particular didn’t realise this and heartbroken that her loving husband could be saying this behind her back.

She tried to drive a wedge between my sister in law and me (known since primary school). The shock on her face when I said I would ask my SIL why she had said such a nasty thing. The panic and back tracking would have been funny if not potentially so damaging.

Either avoid and ignore her whenever possible or try calling her bluff. If there was something really serious someone else would have felt it their duty to enlighten you.

This is very odd. If she is prepared to tell you this she really needs to tell you why she thinks this. - If not - she is stirring.
{{I have a friend I have NOT spoken to about this but, [long whole family friendship] - one evening saying farewell in their hall - he quite unmistakably groped me in a really nasty way}} - I have kept away from them since - making out I'm 'just So busy'. I really don't want to tell her, she's a nice person and it would cause rows.

Don’t give her chance to say anything again.
You could always carry a wooden spoon in your bag and whip it out and present her with it if she starts. Fflaurie has a great response.

If it’s of any help, she’s just stirring. Probably best off without her.

You will feel better for it !

My opinion is ignore her totally, if she asks why, you say that unless she has proven grounds which she is willing to share with you, your DH is your partner and she has no right to be rude publicly without an explanation and she should keep her views to herself. If she cannot be civil and polite, to keep away.

Keep your distance as namsnanny says we all have one in our family!

Blimey, have her remarks started you suspecting you DH of something?

Fie upon her!

If she won't tell you why she doesn't like/trust him, then she's just out to make trouble isn't she? And you have a history, she's not a nice lady.

But would you believe her, with her spiteful streak, if she came up with a reason? I hope not.

Carry on as normal, if your relationship is good with your husband what diference does it make what this person says.
If she was a good friend she would keep her mouth shut. None of us have the right to interefer with another persons relationships.

NC = no contact

No contact Mossfar

can someone tell me what NC is please, its not on the acronyms list!

Some people just can’t help being troublemakers can they? I’ve got at least one of those in my family!
My choice would be arms length not NC.

It's a close family member, not a friend..

A rocky relationship with a 'friend' who has a spiteful streak. Why bother?

Avoid her and, more than anything do not trust her and if you have to communicate do not tell her anything personal or even impersonal she could twist, especially when she is pressing you for information, otherwise treat the silly old besom as just that. The less you seem concerned the more it will irritate her.

It is unlikely it is anything really serious - and if it is it did happen a long time ago.

Polite but distant.

I think let it go for now, was it just a bad day? See how it goes before doing anything irrevocable might be best. I think NC can make life more difficult especially as there may be family occasions which you both attend. Just don't go out of your way to make contact.

Poppyred -It's bothering me now because it's only recently happened. Thanks everyone.

Why is it bothering you now??

Why tell you that then refuse to tell you why? How horrid. I'd keep my distance but leave the door ajar if she wants to be more reasonable about it.

Keep your distance.

Some people just like to stir up trouble. If she can't justify her comments then just do as
momb says and ignore it.