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Do I go NC?

(57 Posts)
BoadiceaJones Fri 26-Apr-19 06:39:12

A close member of the family hates my DH. She says she doesn't like or trust him, but won't tell me why. We've been together almost 20 years. She has a spiteful streak and our relationship has always been a bit rocky. What do I do?

mumofmadboys Fri 26-Apr-19 07:04:57

Ignore what she has said and carry on as before. Be polite when you see her but don't go out of your way to arrange anything. This would be my advice

BlueBelle Fri 26-Apr-19 07:27:33

Ignore it, not worth the user caused Be the bigger person

BlueBelle Fri 26-Apr-19 07:27:57

Troubled caused not user caused

DanniRae Fri 26-Apr-19 07:28:30

I agree with mumofmadboys.

Grandad1943 Fri 26-Apr-19 08:25:21

Well, if anyone told me they did not like my wife, I would very quickly inform them that if they do not like the person who has been closest to me for so many years, then they cannot be any part of my life.

A friend is someone who accepts you and all that surrounds you for what it is. Therfore, if they do not like or accept any part of that, then for me it would be, bye-bye.

Urmstongran Fri 26-Apr-19 08:36:37

Well what a strange thing to say to you after all these years. I assume she has her reasons but is reluctant to enlighten you. Very weird behaviour in my opinion.

I’d be wanting to ask her for details otherwise I’d be just worrying about it all.

sodapop Fri 26-Apr-19 08:40:38

Some people just like to stir up trouble. If she can't justify her comments then just do as
momb says and ignore it.

Luckygirl Fri 26-Apr-19 08:47:46

Keep your distance.

hdh74 Fri 26-Apr-19 09:17:42

Why tell you that then refuse to tell you why? How horrid. I'd keep my distance but leave the door ajar if she wants to be more reasonable about it.

Poppyred Fri 26-Apr-19 09:37:01

Why is it bothering you now??

BoadiceaJones Fri 26-Apr-19 10:32:34

Poppyred -It's bothering me now because it's only recently happened. Thanks everyone.

Nonnie Fri 26-Apr-19 11:16:58

I think let it go for now, was it just a bad day? See how it goes before doing anything irrevocable might be best. I think NC can make life more difficult especially as there may be family occasions which you both attend. Just don't go out of your way to make contact.

Anja Fri 26-Apr-19 11:37:24

Polite but distant.

M0nica Fri 26-Apr-19 14:08:54

Avoid her and, more than anything do not trust her and if you have to communicate do not tell her anything personal or even impersonal she could twist, especially when she is pressing you for information, otherwise treat the silly old besom as just that. The less you seem concerned the more it will irritate her.

It is unlikely it is anything really serious - and if it is it did happen a long time ago.

FarNorth Fri 26-Apr-19 14:17:57

A rocky relationship with a 'friend' who has a spiteful streak. Why bother?

humptydumpty Fri 26-Apr-19 14:20:19

It's a close family member, not a friend..

Namsnanny Fri 26-Apr-19 14:38:35

Some people just can’t help being troublemakers can they? I’ve got at least one of those in my family!
My choice would be arms length not NC.

Mossfarr Fri 26-Apr-19 17:12:56

can someone tell me what NC is please, its not on the acronyms list!

sodapop Fri 26-Apr-19 17:15:43

No contact Mossfar

kathsue Fri 26-Apr-19 17:16:48

NC = no contact

jeanie99 Fri 26-Apr-19 22:37:43

Carry on as normal, if your relationship is good with your husband what diference does it make what this person says.
If she was a good friend she would keep her mouth shut. None of us have the right to interefer with another persons relationships.

BradfordLass72 Sat 27-Apr-19 07:21:02

Blimey, have her remarks started you suspecting you DH of something?

Fie upon her!

If she won't tell you why she doesn't like/trust him, then she's just out to make trouble isn't she? And you have a history, she's not a nice lady.

But would you believe her, with her spiteful streak, if she came up with a reason? I hope not.

Harris27 Sat 27-Apr-19 09:11:06

Keep your distance as namsnanny says we all have one in our family!

Fflaurie Sat 27-Apr-19 09:11:31

My opinion is ignore her totally, if she asks why, you say that unless she has proven grounds which she is willing to share with you, your DH is your partner and she has no right to be rude publicly without an explanation and she should keep her views to herself. If she cannot be civil and polite, to keep away.