AIBU? - Out with a child with chickenpox

Poor child; if he had just been diagnosed with chickenpox he would not have been feeling well, and should have been at home--in bed!
And of course pregnant women don't frequent cafes or shops or public lavatories.

I have a step=daughter and when she was 2 her mum insisted that we have her for the weekend even though it wasn't our turn (sounds awful) so we said yes and when she arrived you could see she was sick so off to the Drs and yes it was chicken pox. I was 5 months pregnant and lost the baby about a month later due to the virus. So you were right to be concerned about the child out in public if it is at the height of it's contagious stage.

I somehow missed getting chickenpox when I was young but managed to catch when on teaching practice . I was in my early twenties and I can assure you Mawbroon that it can be serious. I was delirious for two days and the spots were in my throat and lungs.I ended up in hospital. I was very poorly indeed and wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

A few years ago my granddaughter got chicken pox about a week before she was due to fly to Cyprus for my son's wedding( her uncle) it was only the day before the flight the doctor gave her the all clear to fly, there was a very loud cheer from everyone as she wad really upset that she might not be able to go. I think it's quite irresponsible to take a child with any contagious illness out to infect others.

Shalene777 that’s awful, so sad. (((( ))))

I worked as a summer student in a hospital for people with learning disabilities in the late sixties. There was a children’s ward where some of the children were perfectly ok until they contacted viruses like chicken pox and measles . The rest of these viruses and the complications from them on these children and their families was heartbreaking.The poor little mites ended up in their for the rest of their lives with their parents being told that there was no option but leave them there .
Thankfully we don’t have places like that anymore but I would never dismiss chicken pox or measles as mild illnesses.

I knew a lady several years ago who went down South to look after her son so his wife could look after the children including a small baby.

Her son had chicken pox, he took a turn for the worse ended up in hospital and died. So yes chicken pox can be serious.

We used to stay in with our children for at least two weeks when they had things like chicken pox. usually turned into a month as one son would have it and then when it was almost time for us to be able to go out the other son would catch it!

I had meningo-encaphalitis which was from mumps caught when I worked in a library. I was very ill and took a long time to recover. I had to have a lumbar puncture to diagnose it which took even longer to get over!

Of my 3, only youngest got chicken pox aged 2. She was really poorly. She was covered all over and I mean everywhere! with blisters. Coincidentally, the same age identical twin boys who lived opposite and with whom she played, had it at the same time. One, like DD2 was covered all over, while the other only had a few spots. I would not have dreamt of taking her out. One of the worst aspects is subsequent scarring.

I would have reacted the same as you. What about people that might have a lower immune system, or pregnant woman in their last weeks or adults that haven’t had it. I had a friend once that caught chicken pox from her children and she was hospitalised as her through has closed up due to them in her mouth and throat - she was very ill.

My son's friend had chickenpox when they where both just 6yrs old,his mum sent him to school none the less, this poor child was taken really poorly in class and rushed to hospital where the spots had completly covered his body and his internal organs where affected the little chap died 5 days later something I have never forgotten him when I hear of chickenpox,such a dangerous illness imo.

Would have made me furious too - I’m immuno-suppressed to deal with an auto-immune condition and any kind of infection can rapidly become very serious

Gillyknits I am not aware that I anywhere suggested chickenpox could not be serious
I did say that back in the day, mums used to take small children to “chickenpox parties” (ie not avoid it) so that children caught it in their preschool years because it gets more serious as you get older.
(In those days of course pre school children did not go to nursery.)
So please don’t accuse me of belittling it.
I am also more than aware of the potential dangers to those who are immunospressed as we lived with that scenario for 20 years after DH’s transplant.

MawBroonsback you say you “do understand about compromised immune systems” and despite this you also say that “The only group you need to keep a child with chickenpox away from is pregnant women.”
Just because Paw did not suffer the ill effects, doesn’t mean others don’t!

Several years ago I was unlucky enough to contract Chickenpox as an adult, presumably from a child at playgroup (where parents had to take their turn at helping), though unsure as my child who attended playgroup only caught it 2-3 weeks later, probably from me!

Unfortunately, by the time my rash appeared, my baby son was critically ill in hospital. Not only did I end up being admitted to hospital, but I and the rest of my family (who hadn’t had Chickenpox) were unable to visit my very sick son, who had to be barrier nursed! My son had to have the (unpleasant) Chickenpox vaccination and the whole Children’s ward was put on high alert (several children with Leukaemia) as I had had contact with other parents (shared sleeping room with one).
You can imagine how thoroughly awful I felt, to not be with my son when he was so ill, but on top of everything else, to not only have put his life, but the lives of these other children, at risk!

So, yes pregnant women, are at risk, but so are others, who you may be unaware of. Those with Chickenpox are most contagious 1-2 days before rash appears until all the spots crust over, so probably 5-7 days.
Please don’t just pass off Chickenpox as though it doesn’t matter! It’s not much to ask to keep your child indoors for up to 5 days from when you realise they have contracted it.

Someone with a compromised immune system could come into contact. We had a friend who had multiple myeloma and he contracted chickenpox and died.

I think it's nicer for the child to be at home. I remember having all these things when I was a kid and one moment you're feeling fine the next you're really tired and shivering and just want to lie down in bed. Sometimes you just have to take them out if the only alternative was to leave them home alone, but social arrangements can and should be cancelled IMHO.

Sure you have to have had chickenpox to develop shingles at any time. Such an ignorant and inconsiderate thing to do. I was looking after GD who was 3 and developed chickenpox. I had to have it confirmed for nursery so had GP appointment. Wasn't allowed to go into mainstream waiting area but was kept in a little area at end of corridor. GP came out and did the necessary. No wide contact allowed in case of cross infection particularly in relation to anyone who may be pregnant. Your DS etc deserved all you told them.

I take your point Chucky I suppose I had in mind that there are many many more pregnant women around especially in the social circle of young mums whose child may have chickenpox than those on immunosuppressants. Reproof accepted.
My youngest daughter was also part of a 5 year drugs trial to suppress her immune system in a research project on Psoriatic Arthritis, and to be fair, she was very much in our mind when my middle daughter’s 2year old son came out in chickenpox. She also had to lead a normal life including daily commuting into central London as well as long haul flights to the Far East on business.
DH was dead by then so it did not apply to him but as I said, a year earlier he somehow avoided infection when DGD came out in chickenpox just a matter of hours after seeing him in hospital.
I would reiterate that taking my grandson out to the park in his buggy in no way put any vulnerable members of society at any risk. Of course we were not in close contact with anybody but better to entertain him in the fresh air and help take his mind off his “pops” than hunker down indoors.
Frankly I feel my common sense is being called into question here.
Of course everybody can come out with a scare story, but he bottom line is that it is better to get something like chickenpox out of the way before the school years than to avoid it at all costs and then catch it as an adult, which seems perfectly obvious.
20 years of being on immunosuppressants does teach one a lot about avoiding infection and the basic common sense precautions one can take while still having a normal life, commuting or going out to work.
So I would be grateful not to be demonised with suggestions that I don’t know what I am talking about.

So so wrong- people with lowered immunity can die of chickenpox, and shingles can be really severe and have lasting consequences.

So yes, invite children into your home with the full understanding and approval of the parents - but do NOT EVER impose chickenpox on the population at large, until the spots have all dried up.

Poor child. Also I know a man who caught cp from his son ànd ended up in intensive care with encephalitis and was never the same again.

If the child passed it on to a pregnant woman it cause harm to her unborn child and disabilities . The trouble in today world , people are selfish and only think of them selfs .

I’m out - do you jura think that with our medical background I would ever put anybody at risk?

Goodness such a lot of scare stories! I’ve just looked up the NICE website, and it states that a pregnant woman who had had CP or shingles is not at risk. cks.nice.org.uk/chickenpox
I don’t suppose a short visit to a cafe will have put anyone at risk, but I wouldn’t have done it. Certainly a walk in the park will have been fine. Most of us trundle along quite happily being exposed to all sorts of things, especially if we use public transport, go out to places where there are other people....lead a normal life!

pregnant women are not the only ones who need to avoid children’s. diseases. Any one with a low immune system can be affected. My Grandson has Cystic Fibrosis and infections such as these can be life threatening. 44 yrs ago my baby son almost died of chicken pox. No one should treat these things casually.