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AIBU

To side with teacher over dd?

(106 Posts)
Rebecca86 Thu 06-Jun-19 15:38:23

My grandson was today made to stand up for the afternoon for leaning on his chair. I agree with the teacher whilst daughter is fuming

jura2 Thu 06-Jun-19 15:40:38

Our local secondary school Head has just resigned. In the newsletter he said that he loved the kids- but just could not put up with the nonsense from the parents'.

How old is GS? And I bet there is more to it than just 'leaning back on chair'...

Rebecca86 Thu 06-Jun-19 15:43:07

@jura

He's 8. But teacher had told twice. I'm one of those who says let teachers do as they see fit.

lemongrove Thu 06-Jun-19 15:48:35

Well, it seems a bit draconian but I wouldn't be complaining to the teacher about it.There could well be more to it, and children don’t always speak the truth! 😁

gillybob Thu 06-Jun-19 15:56:52

If I were your DD I would be having a word with the teacher to find out what really went on. There may ( or indeed may not) be more to it than what your DGS is letting on . I would be upset to think my 9 year old DGS was made to stand all afternoon for simply leaning on his chair . So what he leaned on his chair ? If on the other hand he was swinging dangerously on his chair that’s another matter. I still think making him stand for an entire afternoon (2-3 hours?) is a bit over the top . But your DD needs the facts.

Deedaa Thu 06-Jun-19 16:10:27

GS 1 told us he got a red card for putting his feet on the desk. It turned out he was dancing on the table! You need all the details before you act?.

gillybob Thu 06-Jun-19 16:12:25

Exactly Deedaa smile

gillybob Thu 06-Jun-19 16:13:16

We he wasn’t really lying was he ? Just not telling the whole story .

sodapop Thu 06-Jun-19 16:23:19

I agree with gillybob your daughter needs to investigate this further Rebecca

Sara65 Thu 06-Jun-19 16:23:57

I agree with gilly, the crime doesn’t really match the punishment!

On the other hand, we can’t be completely sure what the crime was!

I wouldn’t be a teacher these days for anything!

Scentia Thu 06-Jun-19 16:27:56

I thought it was far more healthy to be standing rather than sitting all day. I do believe your DD is a little worried over nothing. Classes, I am sure, would run a lot better if teachers were allowed to teach without fear of parent backlash. I bet he was swinging on his seat and if he had been told not to he should have stopped, if my DS had come home and said that had happened 20 years ago, he would have been told off by us too, for disobeying the teacher. Oh how times have changed.

Eglantine21 Thu 06-Jun-19 16:28:20

We’re not sure the punishment was what he says either!

Umm, hate to mention it but was he allowed to go to the toilet? And was he wearing plimsolls?

gillybob Thu 06-Jun-19 16:34:33

I don’t think times have changed so much Scentia it’s just that maybe children are no longer frightened of their parents . I was terrified of some of my primary school teachers and if I had got into trouble ( I never did) I would have been even more terrified of my fathers reaction. I remember a boy in my primary school wetting his pants he was so frightened of the teacher and worse still being made to stand up in front of the whole school for it . This was the 1970’s for goodness sake not the dark ages.

gillybob Thu 06-Jun-19 16:35:35

Good point Eglantine was he really made to stand for the entire afternoon? Or maybe 10 minutes? Oh dear it’s a minefield.

Mollygo Thu 06-Jun-19 16:44:25

Always ask the teacher, as long as you can do it without losing your temper. Children’s reports of what happened can be the truth, or the truth about how it affected them. An afternoon-usually 2 hours seems a long time for a punishment but perhaps he was told a few times or perhaps it was “If you can’t sit on that chair properly then you will have to stand” and he made the wrong choice.

Septimia Thu 06-Jun-19 16:46:34

I'm sure your GS sees things very differently from the teacher, who may have had a lot of trouble with children leaning back dangerously on their chairs, have repeatedly warned them about it and felt that an example needed to be made for the children's safety.

If your DD is concerned, then a quiet word with the teacher to find out what really went on might be appropriate. However, as an ex-teacher with a teacher DiL, I think parents often over-react and it may be best just to leave it unless anything else happens.

Rebecca86 Thu 06-Jun-19 16:47:03

He had been told twice. Sorry but when I said leaning I meant swinging. He was pretty adament it was from the end of the lunch break till hometime. I agree facts are needed

gillybob Thu 06-Jun-19 16:55:44

Swinging is very different from leaning and could’ve resulted in him being hurt. Still think a whole afternoon standing is a bit too much, but you really do need the facts.

nanaK54 Thu 06-Jun-19 17:00:39

So he probably had to stand for a max of 2 hours?

BlueBelle Thu 06-Jun-19 17:07:00

I ve read this before ?

M0nica Thu 06-Jun-19 17:14:05

On the face of it, it sounds extrordinary, and a gross over reaction. However I suspect once further detail is available the offence will have been more extreme and the punishment less than as quoted.

If the description is accurate, then the parent has every cause for complaint. An afternoon's schooling is two hours or more. I would be talking to the school about it, if it was my child.

EllanVannin Thu 06-Jun-19 17:18:00

Teachers hands are tied nowadays as regards any punishment being doled out as the next thing you know the parents are at the school with all kinds of threats.
One of my GGC was told off by his teacher for climbing, and the child knowing that the next telling off would mean an expulsion from school went ahead and continued to be the brat that he is and pretty well attends when he feels like it. No fear of the teachers, parents or anyone. Saying that,when I visit, he makes a bee-line to come and sit next to me on the settee, little knowing that if there was any misbehaving out of him I'd wallop him, though I have a sneaky feeling that he might realise this.

My GD is out of her mind with him, he's 10 and we reckon that if some sort of discipline isn't put into place now by the time he attends the " big " school next year he'll be a darn sight worse. He's a bright smart lad but has the makings of being a handful as he gets older.

They were all fine until they went to school !! Influence from other brats.
Mind you the rate schools are closing down on the Wirral there'll be no school to go to the way things are going and teachers leaving never to be replaced. Can you blame them ?

Elvive Thu 06-Jun-19 17:19:02

Find out exactly what happened. The young'un may have made his own version up.

Buffybee Thu 06-Jun-19 17:33:55

Maybe the "swinging" could be dangerous, either to himself or other pupils.
If he had been told twice to sit properly and ignored the teacher, then I agree that he should have some sort of punishment.
Standing for two hours had obviously stuck in his mind, so will be a good deterrent.

HurdyGurdy Thu 06-Jun-19 19:00:48

Good grief, he's not going to die or be permanently deformed or disabled for standing up. If he ever went to a concert or a football match, he'd cope with standing up for that length of time.

I think your daughter is totally over-reacting.

Teachers are so limited in terms of what discipline they can use these days. He chose to disobey/ignore the teacher and had to face the consequences.

Your daughter should be backing the teacher, not raging at her. And having serious words with her son about respecting the teacher and doing as he's told and not disrupting the class.

(My son has a scar on his head from 20 years ago, when he ignored the teacher when he was told to stop swinging back on his chair and ended up inevitably going over backwards and cracking his head on a radiator. When he went back to school we made him go and apologise to the teacher.)