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AIBU

Hospital assumes, what?

(97 Posts)
tanith Tue 25-Jun-19 17:57:42

Got e-mail today from the hospital informing of an app with a surgery team about my Carpal Tunnel in October not too long to wait.
Good good good, then I read the bottom of the message.

You will need to bring with you to your app:

- Any medication or tablets you take.
- Reading glasses if you wear them.
-A friend or relative who knows you well , as the doctor may need to ask them to help describe the symptoms you have.

Why do they assume anyone my age 70 I need someone to help describe my symptoms?

TwiceAsNice Wed 26-Jun-19 09:59:17

I went 18months ago alone for what I thought was a routine appt to arrange a cataract operation only to be told I had a more serious eye condition which would need a longer operation. I had been done going on my own but remember feeling upset when I came out and wished I had gone with someone.

When I had day surgery 2 months later my daughter was with me as I couldn’t see properly and wasn’t allowed to drive for 3 months. Apart from the that I was glad to have her as I was scared about what the operation would be like

In actual fact it was better than I imagined, as it was done under a local, and I found all the staff marvellous and not at all ageist, I had it done in my 60’s. It was only the registrar in outpatients who had no bedside manner, he was the same on the operation day, gave me wrong information and upset me, and my daughter told him off, saying his manner left a lot to be desired bless her ?

loltara Wed 26-Jun-19 09:55:59

Letter should state that bringing someone is optional.

kittylester Wed 26-Jun-19 09:50:34

Thank you for your comments. I didnt mean to derail the thread, just to illustrate the benefits of having a concerned person with you.

We are really concerned about BiL as I said and annoyed that he has, but doesnt use, a mobile phone.

I am almost crosser with his wife who will not interfere 'as he's a grown man and can make his own decisions'.

Daisymae Wed 26-Jun-19 09:39:57

They asked, if not appropriate then ignore that part. No point in ignoring the fact that many elderly people do need help.

annep1 Wed 26-Jun-19 09:35:46

I've never had a letter saying that nor has my husband. It could definitely be worded better. In the scheme of things how we feel is important. I once had to ask the way to "Care of the Elderly" I was 64. Marydoll is right. It's ageism.
Kittylester a friend had very infrequent blackouts and was allowed to drive. She is recovering from a very bad accident that she doesn't even remember happening.

suziewoozie Wed 26-Jun-19 09:32:12

Harrigran - your letter sounds similar to the wording I was thinking of.

suziewoozie Wed 26-Jun-19 09:31:03

I would have thought that the use of cot sides was a clinical/safety decision and not up to patients.

harrigran Wed 26-Jun-19 09:27:23

Checked my letters and they are polite, " if you would like to bring a friend or family member to your appointment they will be welcome ". I take a friend with me to the Diabetes course as I do not go anywhere without support.
The situation with your BIL is extremely worrying kitty, I pray he gets to his destination without incident ?

Charleygirl5 Wed 26-Jun-19 09:09:33

2-3 weeks ago I had raging earache. Saw GP, ear full of wax. Applied drops etc went to have ear syringed two days ago. Nurse could not see any wax- my loss of hearing in both ears was due to old age. She tried to get rid of me, fat chance.

She only syringed one ear because she saw I was going nowhere and GP examined the other and prescribed antibiotic drops. I was aware that ears cannot be syringed if infected. She was asked to take a swab and if I had not been awake it would have been the wrong ear.

tanith Wed 26-Jun-19 09:08:14

Yes, I do realise I was the one making an ‘ issue’ in the first place ?

tanith Wed 26-Jun-19 09:01:37

I have no objection to being asked for meds or glasses to be brought to my app but I have never been asked to bring someone before and I did check back through previous hospital letters so they do do have options of other ‘standard’ letters.
In the larger scheme of things it matters not so please let’s not make whole issue out of it.

Harris27 Wed 26-Jun-19 08:51:42

I was on a first aid course yesterday for my work( childcare) two days of learning passed the two exams. But oh how the practical nearly killed me down in the floor doing cpr! My poor knees are sore and swollen today but will put voltarol on and go back in to work with head held high! Ha ha ??

sodapop Wed 26-Jun-19 08:46:46

So true Harris27 smile

SirChenjin Wed 26-Jun-19 08:42:37

It's not something that's specific to the NHS though. Over 50s clubs with gentle exercises and bus tours anyone?! Many of us at 50 still have 16/17 more years of work ahead of us, we still have school aged children and we're certainly not thinking of bus tours (our annual leave is for covering the school holidays).

Harris27 Wed 26-Jun-19 08:19:23

Interesting reading this. To be asked if you need cot sides on and be treat elderly at 62 but we are expected to work till 66 will we have Zimmer frames helping us to go to work? ?

Marydoll Wed 26-Jun-19 08:07:52

I do the same Bella. It makes it so much easier when attending hospital clinics, as I have so many.

kittylester Wed 26-Jun-19 08:05:10

urmston, apparently someone informed the DVLA but nothing appears to have happened.

His wife appears to think it's nothing to do with her!! She doesn't have my interfering tendencies.blush

She will fly to meet him as she doesn't like being in the car with him. confused

He sets off today - in the heat. He is nearly 80 and we do admire his determination but also despair of the pair of them.

It's a huge worry.

Bellanonna Wed 26-Jun-19 08:02:53

I keep a list of OH’s meds on my phone. Much easier for hospital doctors to read than ploughing through bags of medication. I have a similar list of my own meds.

Resurgam123 Wed 26-Jun-19 07:57:24

Yes I have had one of those bring your medications with you.
However if the hospital do not get the right medicines and someone gets harmed the hospital could possibly be liable.

I think it is better to be safe.

Urmstongran Wed 26-Jun-19 07:52:57

Oh kittylester surely driving of any distance is unsafe for your brother and other road users? I think the DVLA ought to have been informed via his doctor he’d been having blackouts. I think if I was his wife I’d have said ‘either you tell the GP/hospital or I will’.

kittylester Wed 26-Jun-19 07:16:27

The other side of this is that some people understate their symptoms. My brother in law is a case in point and I get cross that his wife says that it would be 'demeaning' for her to accompany him. Consequently his consultant probably doesnt know that he suffers from confusion in the afternoon, occasional blackouts and extreme pain. He is driving to the south of France today - towing a caravan and on his own.

ninathenana Wed 26-Jun-19 07:11:51

When I had my minor surgery last week DD dropped me at the hospital door at 6.30 and went off to work. Returning to collect me at 3pm.
When I booked in the receptionist asked in a surprised tone if I was alone. Erm, yes, why not.
Everyone else in the waiting area had someone with them and in a couple of cases two people.

mumofmadboys Wed 26-Jun-19 00:28:52

Sometimes it is useful to have someone with a patient if they have suffered any neurological symptoms such as a fit or an absence of some kind. The patient doesn't know quite what has happened and a relative/ friend may give a better picture. Also for any kind of intermittent confusion.

Marydoll Tue 25-Jun-19 22:16:22

It wasn' t so much the question about the cot sides that annoyed me, it was the assumption ( due to my age?) that my husband was my carer and I was in my dotage, unable to speak for myself.
The doctor who examined me was surprised that I knew more about the medication, which caused the severe allergic reaction and its side effects than she did.
I explained that the medication had a long half life even after stopping it and asked if she was aware of this. She said that she wished more patients were as sharp as I was.
My husband hadn't a clue about this, so he wouldn't have been much help.

I think what I'm trying to say in a cack handed way, is that there are better ways of communicating with patients and perhaps these appointment letter should be rephrased.

Tedber Tue 25-Jun-19 22:08:39

Sorry Suzie...wasn't you agreed with her!