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AIBU

Am I being selfish.

(46 Posts)
kircubbin2000 Fri 19-Jul-19 10:46:02

I know it's ages till Christmas but my daughter has invited me to stay so I can book my flight early. I always enjoy sleeping in her nice spare room beside the bathroom and often take a nap after lunch there. She has also invited my son and his wife and I have just realised they will have to sleep downstairs in a small study on a put up bed.That room is noisy and colder and I feel a bit guilty about having the good room. Should I offer to swap?

Magrithea Sun 21-Jul-19 09:58:00

This falls into the category of giving up your own room to a guest - no! My parents always did this when their good friends came to visit and I could never understand it! As others have said you're the senior member of the family and will be much better for you to sleep well!

granny4hugs Sat 20-Jul-19 22:20:01

agree with mumofmadboys. tis not your choice to make. its your daughter's house. she puts you in the nice room. there is no issue here.

Septimia Sat 20-Jul-19 21:43:39

As the others have said, enjoy the comfortable room!
We end up in the spare room at our DS' house, sleeping on an inflatable bed in our sleeping bags - but we camp/glamp quite happily, so I suppose they think we're OK. And we are - except for trying to get up from virtually floor level!! Last time I noticed that they'd tidied the room so we had more space and they have been talking about a folding double bed, so I'm hoping......

Marmight Sat 20-Jul-19 20:03:40

No need to feel guilty. Its one of the few benefits of becoming older!
I'm always given the eldest GSs bedroom when I stay in Oz, usually for 6 weeks at a time. He doesn't really like sleeping on his own so takes the top bunk with youngest GD (7) or goes in with the 2nd GS (12). I feel sort of guilty, but he's quite happy. My DD despairs - he's 15. She couldn't find him recently, and there he was downstairs in his sister's room! Maybe he'll go straight from home to living with a wife....?

Kim19 Sat 20-Jul-19 17:51:00

I'm assuming you 'know' you'll be put in the more comfortable room? If you are (and I certainly hope that is the case) at an appropriate time I would make verbal reference to the relief I was experiencing and the reason for that. This would reinforce the importance in everyones' mind. Certainly wouldn't do any harm and would bode well for your comfort zone in the future. Good luck.

Lark21 Sat 20-Jul-19 17:46:32

No dong give up your room x but you are so lucky I’d sleep standing up to spend Christmas with my daughter and grandchildren but the flight are too dear - hope you all have a lovely time x

jaylucy Sat 20-Jul-19 15:45:35

No of course don't swap - being a senior member of the family must count somewhere! If it's cold, I'd guess that your GD will be providing extra bedding etc and anyway, they may well be some of the last ones to bed anyway !

annep1 Sat 20-Jul-19 15:37:36

Abuelana I think I read you wrongly. Please accept apologies.

annep1 Sat 20-Jul-19 15:35:15

Hear hear Pat1949

Pat1949 Sat 20-Jul-19 15:19:22

My answer to you, don’t be daft, what do you want to do that for?? Surely as an elder in the family you deserve a bit of comfort.

seadragon Sat 20-Jul-19 13:45:14

I hope you've made sure you ARE getting the nice cosy room...

Merryweather Sat 20-Jul-19 12:51:23

I think you all should sleep where your daughter asks you all to.
It's her house and she will decide where's best for everyone. I'm sure she will give you your good room near the bathroom and you'll be comfy.
Enjoy your break. I hope you have a lovely time xx

Riggie Sat 20-Jul-19 12:46:36

As others have said...I'd check where she plans to put you all!!

annep1 Sat 20-Jul-19 12:18:32

Abuelana I strongly disagree with you. Strange thing to say.

Onestepbeyond Sat 20-Jul-19 12:18:26

I'd check that I would deffo be in the 'comfy' room before I booked my flight - wink
flowers

Abuelana Sat 20-Jul-19 11:49:25

No age has privileges! Stay put and ? unless you’re asked to swap - don’t offer!

Annaram1 Sat 20-Jul-19 11:26:06

I always give up my lovely bedroom with adjacent bathroom if I have guests, and sleep on the harder bed in another room myself. I do have access to a nearby bathroom though. I am lucky enough to have 2 . However its usually only for one or two nights. If going to a relatives or friends for the night I am usually given a very comfortable room near the bathroom.
Don't feel guilty as if you say you think your son should have the better room everybody else will feel guilty and say you should have it.
Have a wonderful break! Enjoy your family get together!

CarlyD7 Sat 20-Jul-19 11:21:51

Surely, as it's your daughter's house, it's up to her where people sleep - she's assigned you a nice room next to a bathroom, so respect her wishes and enjoy it ! (Also, as we get older, we have to gently give up the habit of putting everyone-else first and put ourselves first for a change. You should definitely have the more comfortable room!)

sarahellenwhitney Sat 20-Jul-19 11:13:29

No doubt your D would not want her invited family to sleep in a cold room.
Why not wait and see the arrangements once you arrive and I am your son is quite capable of sorting out any heating arrangements for himself.

Aepgirl Sat 20-Jul-19 11:05:39

Don’t feel guilty. Accept the invitation with good grace, and have a lovely time.

Margs Sat 20-Jul-19 10:53:58

No, you definitely do not want the other room if it's colder & noisier! The young 'uns can put up with it out of respect for your seniority. Play the Little Old Lady card for all it's worth, I say.

NB: it's not ages until Christmas - it'll be August in less than a fortnight and then it's downhill all the way to Christmas Eve. Just where has the year gone?

olliebeak Sat 20-Jul-19 10:37:41

Stick with the sleeping arrangements that give you the closest room for the 'night-time loo dash' ;-), kircubbin2000. Whenever I stay overnight at my DD's home, my granddaughter offers to take the sofa - but she has a downstairs bathroom ......................... no way would I ever make it safely down the very steep staircase in the middle of the night.

Come the day when she has an upstairs bathroom, I'll certainly grab the opportunity of the comfy bed PLUS a place of privacy for a peaceful 'afternoon retreat/nap' if required ;-).

Apricity Sat 20-Jul-19 10:20:22

Such good advice already offered. Grans are so sensible and have such wisdom, often very hard won. Go with the flow, let your daughter make the decisions about rooms, lie back and enjoy the benefits of age. And most importantly have a lovely Christmas with your family.

Juicylucy Sat 20-Jul-19 10:12:54

When I go to Oz to visit my family it doesn’t matter who else is staying I’m always given best room. Also stay away from the kitchen, offer to load dish washer or clear up after but let your daughter steer her way through her kitchen. Enjoy your break away.

Lupin Sat 20-Jul-19 09:54:51

Enjoy the nice room. They probably wouldn't want you to be uncomfortable. Wishing you happy hols.
Loved your comment LULUAUGUST.