Angry with OH

SirChenjinn I stopped OH wearing shorts years ago as he's got very long legs the width of pipe cleaners and looked ridiculous wearing them.

I would love to wear a pair of shorts but am too fat. I recently picked up a pair of men's XL knee length shorts in a charity shop to secretly try on but couldn't get them above my knees so had to donate them back.
Some men look lovely in shorts, not many but some. I don't think I've ever seen Monty in a pair though.

jura2 you must have a heart of gold after your plans to hide an eyesore were wrecked. I'd have been round there on my mobility scooter with a petrol bomb.

Tillybelle I can assure you there's never been anything that could be even be remotely described as LONG in relation to my OH. Apart from vertically height wise.
Oh that sounds even worse now!

I came home from work one day and a neighbour had stripped the large rockery that went down our bank on the side of the lane - most plants removed, some just moved, some rocks moved about. She said she was just trying to help and she thought it looked tidier.

We had been leaving it slightly wild as it went along the side of a country lane and something over-tidy looked odd.

We were also leaving bits of hedge to grow over the oil tank which was on the side of the lane, as it was rather unsightly. It was just getting to the point where the tank was covered, when another neighbour "kindly" cut it back for us when he was cutting his hedge!

You get strange neighbours in the countryside.

CaroDane - oh how I understand. And yet - why on earth did you let him out there to go 'pruning' on his own ?!?

I am furious too, but can't say anything. My very kind farming neighbour, Germaine, offered to cut down the long grass in the orchard at the bottom of the garden, as OH's health issues meant he has not been able to do it. She asked me to walk her round, so she would not cut anything she shouldn't.

And she got carried away and cut all around the front of the lilacs where I had planted a couple of expensive bushes in the spring. They still had the labels attached- so no idea how she did not see them ... But - really could not say anything as she is so kind and helpful - ah well.

Tilly I respect your professional opinion and I'd like to think your theory is correct but I fear you are being too generous - they are simple souls and I suspect most of them are just lazy gits who want to complete the task as quickly as possible so they can get back to shouting at the TV or rearranging the shoes in alphabetical order.

CaroDane. That's great Caro! I did expect yours to be a good relationship in which you were able to hold your own! Good of you to reassure me! ?

I just thought I'd mention the other side of the coin, just in case anyone else happens to see the Thread, and identifies with it but is in a bad predicament.

This is a brilliant thread! Really uplifting! Thanks so much! ?

CaroDane - my husband ignores any directions I give him while driving, even shouting STOP! STOP! when he was driving straight at a policeman who was flagging us down to tell us of a road closure ahead. But infuriatingly, when we took my satnav on holiday, he listened to it, and even asked me to check my directions with it when I was reading the map.

As for the rest - I stash anything I want to hide for my own consumption among the baking ingredients, he never looks there!

I just can't understand why men have this huge love, this compulsion, this uninhibited drive to chop bits off things and make them shorter!

Now, I am this retired Psychologist, and although I utterly abhor anything as unscientific as Freud's ridiculous and misogynist ideas, I can only wonder fearfully if this be some kind of Freudian desire to shorten, preferably violently, anything they see as on the long side.

It would seem that the husband needs to get out there and cut off anything that his wife holds dear. As the husband sees it, anything too long that his wife loves. He cannot have in the world where he holds domain, his woman admiring anything longer than that which he has decided the length of. I would say GigiPops gives us the best example of "length abomination" with her castor oil plant. Because she could see it every day from her kitchen window, her admiration of it must have driven her husband to distraction. It is not surprising that his jealousy became unbearable and he attacked it, leaving it over-circumcised and unable to restore its health for three years.

Tillybelle We squabble and argue all the time but I would rather be with him than without him, as the only other man who'd be interested in me would be the undertaker.

Plus OH is an ace at loading the washing machine ( after carefully leaving a pound coin in his pants pocket)
and is very useful round the house with being extra tall.
If he ever goes too far a quick kick down the stairs should do it.
Sadly too old now for insurance money.

CaroDane

Mmmmmm. Monty Don. Ahh, Monty, dear Monty, even has dogs like those I used to have, wonderful Monty.....

Give me a moment to enjoy a reverie Of Monty Don bliss.

Definitely a recurring theme here! My husband "pruned" my long-established and very beautiful castor oil plant (in permanent view of the kitchen) and left stalks which took three years to recover... it still hurts!!

I would just like to say that I haven’t laughed so much for a very long time! Carodane I await your forthcoming book with great anticipation! Thank you.

Monty Don could butcher my maple any day too CaroDane (assuming I had a maple of course) . There is something about his scruffy look, his massive hands and that smile...…

Getting all hot under the collar now...….phew.....must open the window

It's not a joke. I can put my hand on the Bible and swear every word is true.
Unfortunately.

DH is fortunately not a gardener (for why else would a dead guinea pig be buried under a flat lawn?) but occasionally he dons his shorts (which is when we know he means business) and he gets the lawnmower out. Up and down, up and down he goes, until he gets bored (it's not a big garden, this can take anything up to - oooh, 15 minutes?) and then goes inside for a rant at the Sky News, leaving a border of long grass around the edges. We then have to have an argument a reasoned discussion about why that's not actually the grass cut or I give up and do it myself without the theatrical sighing that seems to be necessary every time I point out that he's not finished yet another job he's started.

Three cheers for BettyBoop49

I left him shortly after

He was an assassin!

I think, being a bit serious here, when the person who lives with you and shares their life with you and presumably claims to love you, has absolutely no regard for something you love and damages it without any thought to how distressing this will be for you, it demonstrates they are completely self-centred and either unaware of or disregard of the feelings of their wife.

To have been married, possibly many years, to someone and to show utter disregard for that which she loves and to steal something behind her back - however small - that you know she put aside because she was looking forward to it, is a clear sign of such selfishness and unkindness, it makes me fearful of how he behaves in other ways.

To me, these actions are signs of a deeper and possibly more serious problem. My late H used to take anything of mine, as did my mother, and never treat it as belonging to me. One day I went to take out my bike and it was gone! He had sold it! I had such low self-esteem that I didn't think I deserved any consideration and that my things - bought by me with money I earned - were silly and unimportant, as were my feelings and views.

This kind of erosion of a person's self-esteem can happen over a period of years of being treated as if they don't matter and having their feelings completely disregarded.

I know what I am saying is a bit serious. But in case it applies to anyone reading the thread, I'd say, start to value yourself. You have rights. You cannot live under this condition. Carry's examples, if they are a tip of an iceberg of the same behaviour in every aspect of her life with this man, would suggest he has serious problems of abusing her and she needs to get rid of him. I'm just using this as an example. In fact Carry has sounded quite witty about the selfish deeds and probably manages ok.

I do hope you are OK Carry. But don't hold back on spelling out to him just how selfish his total disregard of what is special to you is. He could have at least asked if he could have some of the chocolate! It's not even the things he did in fact, it's his disregard of what matters to you. He has not cared about you at all and, without a thought to you, done things he should have known would be upsetting to you. A kind person and a caring husband does not do that. Only a selfish person does. Tell him that!

So enjoyed this thread - hilarious

My ex went out to mow the lawn and came back to tell me he'd also pulled up all the plants that were running to seed - ALL my lovely calabrese.

O/h now not much better, but at least, with dogs and chickens, we don't actually grow anything useful, edible or pretty!!

Oh don't get me started on Monty Don!
You can stuff Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, or Richard Gere where the sun doesn't shine but Monty Don! He could even butcher my maple and I wouldn't be cross. And I love those lovely dogs of his
Of course the neighbours would talk as Monty Don would be my toy boy

Fret not polnan, it's all a joke, of course it is.

Sat here with tears running down my face ,your posts are hilarious caro keep posting I think you have cheered a lot of us up ?

wow! I just read all these posts,, I can`t believe that it is not a huge joke,, none of these things really happened?

please, please tell me it is all a huge joke,,

I know I lack in the humour dept, well not quite I say I have a dry sense of humour...

but here`s me, after reading these posts, and ASSUMING they are true events, I best go hug my husband.. (o.k. maybe not) but surely I have NOTHING to complain about?

tell me it is all a joke?

Oh dear, this all sounds so familiar! My OH doesn't know the difference between a dahlia and a daisy, that 'thing' over there is his usual description. However he thinks he knows exactly when each 'thing' should be chopped to within an inch of it's life. I only just stopped him from chopping my prize blue rose down to the ground the other day. My hair is in clumps on the ground some days!

tillybelle LOVE that word blunten if it's not in the OED it should be!

My OH ruined my maple - he swore blind the squirrels had broken the branches. Funny how they can make neat cuts!!