Angry with OH

He's still alive and was allowed to stay but isn't allowed to perform anything with shears/cutters/secateurs without my actual presence and supervision.

Love this thread!

I went into hospital in October many years ago to have a radical hysterectomy. When I came home from hospital, the whole garden had been razed to about 4 inches and my OH had a pleased sheepdog expression - he had even paid for someone to help him. Not a good thing to present to an over-emotional instant menopausal woman.

Ahhh yes - the dishwasher rearranging . I let him rearrange it into alphabetical order or whatever it is he does as it seems to make him happy, but occasionally - just to mess with his mind - I press the 'on' button before he can get to it.

DH seems to be getting increasingly irritated with everyone and their reluctance to do things his way the right way. I've told him that he needs to write the Mr Chen Rule Book for Idiots and hand it out to people when they do things 'wrong' but he doesn't find that amusing for some reason

This was done to me so many times in our 50 years of marriage with no apology. He was lethal with the mower, the excuse being that 'it shouldn't have been in the way'. Karma is good, find and eat his chocolates, I always got my revenge!

Forgot to add - my DH used to hide chocolate all over the house until he was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes - rough justice I thought.

They all leave the seat up! I hide the secateurs on top of the fridge freezer because he would cut every shrub back to 6 inches if given free reign. I don’t bring chocolate home to hide, I just eat it on my way home and get rid of the evidence.

I feel as if I’ve been married to a boy of ten for forty years:
He can never find the Paracetamol (always in the same drawer)
Asks how to use the washing machine, time and again.
Rushes out of supermarket with a bottle of wine in each hand, slippery shoes = two broken bottles.
Pissed off an asthmatic neighbour by burning garden waste.
I could go on... ?

Oh I would be seriously worried if I caught Mr G squirreling around in my knicker drawer Namsnanny

He loves my undies, 'cos they're made from good quality natural cotton and, I kid you not, they're just the right size to fit over the bucket

Brilliant thread!

My DH on a number of occasions 'helped' by putting away the shopping. Come dinner time I found the ice cream stored tidily away in the fridge - not once but three times!!

He also has a habit of rearranging the dish washer. I have the perfect way of packing it but he doesn't agree and changes it round when I am not looking.

He also leaves the seat up!!!

My husband over-prunes but at least he has a full set of teeth! ?

Are you feeling any less murderous today Caro?

Luckygirl. Just read the cat burying tale/tail to my husband - we are crying with laughter!

How about kitchen cupboards and understanding the concept of storing like with like. I open doors to find packets and jars pushed into any available space. This week's gem was four jars of coffee in between the pans in the carousel cupboard.

CaroDane ...If I try really hard I could find a few less appropriate but more satisfying names to call him!

Your story about your Goth GD reminded me that I went through a phase of beach combing and found the bones of a sheeps head, a dog and a rat. I lovingly put them on the family piano in a glass case! And I wondered why I never had any boyfriends at school Ha!!

gillybob …..cant hide things in my knicker drawer, as husband regularly ferrets about in there (arnt I the lucky girl?)
He loves my undies, 'cos they're made from good quality natural cotton and, I kid you not, they're...…..
just the right size to fit over the bucket ...……..
for him to strain his vile homemade nettle fertilizer into!!

WT_???

I'll leave you with that thought !
(I looked for a bilious emoji but had to compromise and use the envy one, but who knows, perhaps you are envious, takes allsorts)

namsnanny am in stitches here still over 'Edward Scissorhands'

Yes he didn't look like this when I married him but it was late second marriages for both of us. We were really past our sell by dates when we got together, we're a bit like that horrid nursery rhyme Jack sprat. I've got fatter and he's got thinner!
Mind you he was ugly even when he was young, I picked him out deliberately to make sure he wouldn't leave me for another woman, as no one else would have him

Pauvre Mr Dane - he's not coming across too well on GN tonight

You must be very proud of your DGD

SirChenjin no yours doesn't look like mine. Mines six three, no teeth, hair like Einstein, and looks like he's been in the crypt for six months, also my GD says he looks like some Internet thing called Thin Man.
Lucky girl, aren't I?
And yes DGD moved past that phase, she's now very settled and doing teacher training!!!

Go and spend next week's grocery money on a new tree and present him with an empty plate every night for dinner for the whole week.

They could very well be related - or perhaps we're married to the same man? 6 foot, bald, disappears off to 'do the finances' more often than a normal household budget calls for...??

Has your DGC moved past that slightly concerning stage in her life?! You could have had so much fun with that workman - you might have got something knocked off the bill

Sirchenjin = search engine (although someone else did suggest searching gin, which I think I prefer!)

SirChenjin that's hilarious! Sure you're DH isn't related to mine?

Years ago (wish I could say last week or last month but it wouldn't be true) one of the GC had a gothy phase and stayed at ours while DD was on holiday. She loved Buffy and Twilight and such things, all of which we never watched.
She came back from a car boot sale with horns sticking out of a bag and proceeded to show us a deer skull she'd bought. We nearly fainted in horror. Then she asked if she could bury it as she wanted to return it to nature. Later she was out again burying something else.
Nearly a year later someone taking my out of control ivy off our back wall put the spade through a water pipe. The garden flooded and was dug up to find the leak.
I've never forgotten the look on that workman's face as he pointed to the deer skull and two action man figures taped together with a little hood over their heads. He'd placed them on our patio and asked me what we wanted to do with them!
I think he thought we were satanists.

Am ashamed to say it's taken me all evening to understand your user name. I actually thought you might have been Chinese or Japanese! Older but no wiser I'm afraid

I know - I've learned the hard way never to leave DH alone with a spade and a dead animal, it won't end well. I'm going to hide your post Lucky in case it gives him Ideas.

Your poor cat (and the other mystery cat who didn't return home to its owners that night)

Since we both took early retirement my OH has suddenly become interested in the kitchen - not to help or cook our meals - but to rearrange the cupboards!

He has very strong views on where things should be put. He waits until i'm out and swaps things around. It absolutely drives me insane and he will sit and sulk for ages when I tell him I will not cook anything until he puts everything back where it was!

I think what annoys me about it is the fact that it implies i'm too stupid to know how to work efficiently in a room that he has never before had any interest in. grrr.

Ah - never leave a man to bury a dead pet.

OH once buried a cat head downwards so that he did not have to dig such a large hole - how do I know this? When weeding I found the tail sticking up through the ground!

Another time when he was burying another of our cats in the flower bed that we had found dead on the road outside the house - I know, I know, we stopped having cats in the end as they kept getting run over - as he was lowering it into the ground our cat walked by - he nearly jumped out of his skin! We still do not know whose cat he buried!

But, back to the original subject of this post. OH one day went into the garden to do some weeding and came in and told me that he had got rid of all the weeds at the base of the raspberry canes.........! Hmmm. Thank you dear!