Speaking of other halves ...

My mother had just left me some money. He didn't want half. Wish I had invested it wisely....sighs

I didn’t the first time round - never thought I needed one. I was left with 3 dependant children. My then husband promptly stopped paying the mortgage and all the household bills without telling me, despite my salary being less than a quarter of his. Even when I took him to court to get him to pay the mortgage he didn’t pay the back payments. Within a few months I had thousands of pound worth of debts. Utility companies only chase the person living in the house. He hid any money he had so even the courts couldn’t compensate me, it took me years to get out of debt. This time round I have my own money, we live in OH’s house and I rent mine out, I know exactly how I would survive if needs be and I’d never be dependent on anyone again.

Mine wasn't a "running away fund" as I earned enough to fund my own flight if I chose to do that but boy did I have running away fantasies. I daydreamed and planned complex and amazing disappearing acts worthy of a film script.

Did I ever do it? No, I loved my children too much but my ex-husband and I did eventually part in a much more civilised manner. Somehow we are all still friends, both re-partnered, and the kids and grandkids are all doing fine. But some of those fantasies still linger.....the sliding doors moments in life....???

Yes and I’ve encouraged both my daughter and son to have a secret fund. My daughter calls hers ‘The rainy Day fund’ my sons is the ‘Great Escape Fund’.

My friend calls it her knicker-leg-pocket fund! She says all women should have one. Can't say I disagree with her.

Oh yes for years, My Mum always said have a 'you' fund for you and you only, passed this on to my Daughter as birthday money etc always ends up in the house purse.
I use it for holiday extras , theatre tickets or any thing I would like to buy.

I wouldn’t say it was a leaving fund more of a contingency plan!!

what is special about gabor shoes?

My mum once gave me a 1000 pounds and told me to keep it as my "leaving fund". I forgotten about it till I saw this post. I think I used it to start a wedding fund for my daughter. However like someone else mentioned once I had had my family and restarted work and earnt proper money I can remember that great feeling of being able to be independent if I needed to. Unfortunately I my husband died before we could start our retirement together.

I wish I had ! I didn't work so had to rely on ex for financial support and he only gave me enough to spend on just what was needed. He didn't even cough up anything to support our son!
My mum had set up two separate accounts that thankfully she had told me about as dad and everyone else seemed to know nothing about - to pay for her funeral and dads too!
Neither had life insurance (this was before every ad break had adverts for it) so when she died unexpectedly at least the funds were there to pay for the funerals.

I always had a small bank account in my name into which I put my earnings as a hypnotherapist (my second job.) My husband knew about it and sometimes we spent a bit of it on a celebration. We had a joint account where my earnings as a Librarian went.
However when my husband died I discovered that he had a secret stash in a Virgin ISA. He had been putting £50 a month into it. Maybe it was HIS running away money. On inheriting it I started spending it on lovely holidays to exotic places, such as Ecuador and the Galapagos Islands, Brazil, and Vietnam. Its all gone now. Thank you darling!

No, but wish l had when l did finally leave.

Well done Bizzle.

Separate accounts for us too DiggingDoris with complete privacy. I pay one third of joint expenditure as DH has twice my income.
Having a "running away" fund is important and so is having your own income

Since when did children listen to advice grandMattie or say you were right mum?. Did we, with our mums, I wonder?

Yes but it was pitiful. He on the other hand had squirrelled away enough to buy a home and vamoose. Good riddance. Should have happened 40 years before when he said he had made a mistake on the wedding night. I was an idiot but was never happier than the day he left. Nine years on now.

No I don't have a secret fund but I have an account of my own where I could get cash pretty quickly if needed. My granny, a Victorian always thought a girl should have a little money of her own.

No! I wouldn't dream of leaving my lovely man. Of course I have my own bank account as well as our joint ones and I have a SIPP but basically we share everything.

No, I've never had a "secret fund", but I worked all my life and earned a salary; now I have a decent pension. I think it's really important for a woman to have "job skills" and to be able to earn regular money, where/when possible. Then if you need to "walk away", you have an income to rely upon. (Thankfully I've never needed to "walk away".)

Try to be finically responsible .That may mean having your own bank account ,managing your own money .

When my first husband left I hardly had a penny to my name and vowed never to be in that situation ever again. Now DH and I have separate bank accounts and he never asks what I've got. So I feel secure when things get rocky.

Oh yes! I had a secret leaving fund for fifteen years - and used it last year at the tender age of 70 to finally do the Nelson Mandela walk for freedom and never regretted it!

When I was a young married, stay at home mum, I heard on Woman’s Hour, that every woman should have a running away fund. Now 40 years on, I still have it... it’s a running joke in the family, but I’m very glad for it gave me a sense of security should I have had need of it. My daughter hasn’t listened to me, but since when has she? She’s fine in her marriage, BTW.

Yes, thank goodness!

We've always had separate current accounts and a jont savings account from which we pay the major bills. Originally we both contributed the same amount to that but, when I stopped working, the donations mostly came from DH and still do.

I realised a short time ago that, while I have an adequate income, the savings (now two joint accounts and one of DH's) might be tied up for a while if anything happens to DH. So I decided that I should start to accumulate some savings just in case!

Oh Yes! - my darling mum and dad left me a substantial amount of money - all safely tucked away in bank and premium bonds.
I used to work with a man who told me to "Always have someone else lined up just in case!" so I have! (Thank goodness we don't use our real names or I never would have admitted to that!)

Never needed one - DH earned the money and I manage it. Never contemplated leaving.