How can I put up with so much then flip over the peppermill

I hope you get sorted soon, it must be a nightmare. I'm a very calm person but the last straw one day came when I couldn't open a jar so the whole lot was thrown against the wall. It didn't help because I then had to clean it all up, it felt good at the time though and smashing a few more things would have helped lol.

I am normally a very calm, chilled person who takes things in their stride no matter what. In 25 years as a manager at work I had coped with all sorts of problems by discussion and treating people with respect. I was known for my calmness in adversity. Then one day I discovered third hand that a colleague had arbitrarily given some of my staff an instruction without asking me if it was ok. I just blew my top there and then within hearing of everyone else. I usually need to formulate what I’m going to say but this time the words just flew out of my mouth. To say there were open mouths around was an understatement. Mind you, I think it does others good to see that you do have limits.

I had a meltdown when I couldn't sort out the curtain rail after taking curtains down...to be fair I was moving with my son after a traumatic divorce, my Dad was moving into long term care as his dementia worsened, a change in work hours meant I was working with a different team and my friendship group were leaning on me for support with how they felt about my marriage failing, not to mention various women calling the house to speak to my ex. On the whole I had previously held it together. It was a long time ago and I reflect with a chuckle now but that blooming curtain rail really tipped me over the edge ? Hope you can chuckle about your horrible situation at some point Roses and that it gets resolved soon too x

Perfectly normal. You have had so much to deal with & it is the proverbial straw that breaks the camel's back.
I'm sure you needed to vent & felt better afterwards.
I do hope everything gets better for you very soon.

Can definitely understand
From 2014 to 2015
Coped with dad dying kinda unexpected
Mum going into care
Mum villifying me to all and sunder and ringing me to abuse me
Our dog have seizures
Husband having a golfball size brain tumour found
Surgery for said brain surgery
My parents dog who lived with us becoming so unwell loss of bowel control
My husband had to carry her up and down our stairs
Then mum and dad's beloved dog die
On the way home from the dog specialist who put her to sleep I went into a garage to fill up the wrong way.
A driver of a huge truck beeped and obviously cussed at me
I stopped the car ran out and abused him and abused him.
I burst into tears screaming at this poor guy
I can still see his look of horror at me.
My husband just stayed in the car and waited for me to come back
One drop over a full glass as someone said

I went through a nightmare with my ex-husband, both whilst we were together and after he'd left, and even though it was hard, I coped. Until one day I wanted to cut the grass but couldn't find the extension lead. I rang him to ask if he knew where it was. He told me he'd got it. He was living in a bed-sit above a chip shop with no outside space so I asked him why he'd taken it. He replied it had come from his parents house so wasn't mine! I flipped. Slammed the phone down (you could in those days!) and sat on the stairs and sobbed. I'd hardly cried at anything before that. I rang my Dad in floods of tears saying "he's taken the extension cable". My Dad appeared less than half an hour later with his spare. No big drama really, compared to the rest I was going through, but it did it for me, lol

Maybe it was the final straw

Much much safer to let your anger out towards the pepper mill. You did well.

So sorry to read about your flooding, and then the pepper mill that I know was the last straw.
We are such a strong bunch of ladies and we keep going knowing that eventually it will be sorted and nearly always it is.
When my son died everything went onto autopilot for me. And I expect that is the same for a lot of people I was very good at keeping everyone else chipper but one morning I couldn’t find where I had put my phone to much on the mind I think and I just went to pieces, funny enough I did feel better after a good weep.

Commiserations on your flooded property Roses that must have been a dreadful time for you and I hope it is soon all put right.

We'd had a very stressful time dealing with all 4 parent's deaths over 2 years, husband's job hunting, losing my sense of smell and all the tests that ensued then my beloved cat having to be put to sleep. I went to the dentist one morning for a routine check up and was told I had to have a tooth removed. It seemed to be the final straw and I burst into tears in the chair. The poor dentist was mortified but very understanding.

That sounds horrendous Roses hope things are sorted now and you can relax a little. It's funny isn't it how its always such a small thing which proves to be the last straw. We all need to to vent our feelings at some point.

Oh yes; I thought I was coping ok after DH died but a couple of months after, the cats were having a mad half hour and knocked a full glass of red wine over the coffee table, carpet, and it splashed up the wall and just everywhere, and knocked a table lamp over as well. That did it - I just howled and raged at DH for not being there to help.

Yes, Roses, I flipped like that 3 months ago. OH had been very ill for several months, but I held everything together all that time for him, house, myself and family, taking every setback on the chin and staying positive to help him do the same. Then one day I was at the minor injuries unit at our local hospital, having a wound dressed and the nurses were really kind and sympathetic. For some reason, this completely opened the floodgates. As I walked back to the car, I started crying thinking about their kindness and sat in the car sobbing for ages before I could drive safely away. Ditto when the head of youngest GC's nursery was similarly kind and helpful.
Huge sympathy over the flood, Roses. . I had something very similar years ago and it is devastating. It might help you through this awful time if you are able to take the opportunity to make some positive change in your house which you've always wanted to do - e.g. change a carpet you've never liked, change a colour scheme, get some new curtains. Good luck with it all.

Oh blimey roses, what a situation you’ve been coping with, hope it gets resolved soon. Of course it’s the small things that get to us, we’ve no choice but to cope with the big ones.

I recall Mr C being in the throes of a redundancy situation, we had small children and he was the sole wage earner. I’d been steadfastly positive with Mr C, typing umpteen letters for him and agreeing with family and friends who said ‘of course it will be all right’. Then I burst into tears collecting a child from camp and hearing a sock had vanished. The other parents who knew the situation totally understood. Look after yourself roses.

Yes it is the little things.
Slightly different I know but I have dealt with so much in the last few years and then this morning a very innocent, innocuous thread has started which reminds me of my life before all this happened and I am weeping.

Oh dear that’s a worry. I’d better put a red light on my head saying Danger of erupting ?
I hope it all gets sorted soon. Ps I think it’s pretty normal in the circumstances though.

Years ago we had an oil leak from our boiler which had to be removed all through the winter, in our main living space they had to dig down a metre to wash chemicals through every three weeks, all the dry linings were removed and skirting boards , patio dug up, it was horrendous, and it was one of those times when everything went wrong

One day I was driving through the village, and a young man took a corner too wide and hit my car. Now I’m a ‘it’s only a car, as long as no ones hurt’ kind of person, but I flew out of the car, screaming language I didn’t know I knew, I was like a mad person!

I suppose it’s a matter of overload, we can only take so much!

So sorry Roses your having a rough time .We've just had an horrendous house move, family illness etc etc. I thought I was doing well, then one day I was attempting to hang some curtains, and I couldn't get the hooks in properly, burst into tears, so hard my husband came running upstairs to see what was up, he new straight away it had nothing to do with the curtains, bless him.Hope things turn around for you soon, as they will.Good luck.

I used to explain this phenomeno to my sons.
If a glass is empty, one drop in there makes no difference at all.
But if a glass is completely full of water/troubles, then one drop makes it spill over.
To this day we still say, 'Full glass?' when one of us is unaccountably angry.

Oh yes! When things are bad, I think we have some sort of mechanism which enables us to cope with the stress. But, as you said, it's often something trivial that sets us off into an almighty rage, and the floodgates open! But, do you know what? ... I think it's a good thing sometimes to let it all out, rather than let our stress levels build up inside ... that's really not good for anyone! You've obviously been through a lot of stress over the last few months. I hope things are nearly sorted out for you, and hope you feel a bit better now you've let out some of your built up stress!

The saying ‘ The straw that broke the Camels’s back comes to mind’
Being strong & After all you have coped with you were just beginning to relax & think the worst was over....... and then the pepper-mill let you down, it was unexpected & not a usual thing to happen in it’s self not a disaster but after everything else that has happened it feels like a final slap in the face.
Best wishes & i hope all will be well for you now.?

after a year when we had our business burned down and threatening phonecalls nightly (before tracking calls was simple) I was doing great. I thought I was coping with everything life threw at me.Until the day I came home to find coffee cups all the way up my new hall carpet ..might not have been so bad had they been empty ,but no. dregs in every one.i BLEW MY TOP.Our staff who had been working from the house and garage after the fire all decided to go home early .I think I shamed them into putting mugs in the kitchen for all of two weeks though .We are all still friends .

Often it's something small (or someone being kind to you) that tips you over the edge.
Thinking of you and what you are going through.
Roses

Roses commiserations on your house flood, that must have been such a shock, and the drying out takes ages, so no wonder you lost it over the peppercorns.As you say, it was the last straw.
I can’t think offhand if I have flipped over something trivial
( I probably have....we all probably have.)

Yes, I believe when my teenagers were at their selfish worst I lost it one day when someone ate my stashed chocolate. Had an absolute hissy fit and stormed out the door in my slippers and went for a walk.

I did apologize when I came home, but dear husband had given them all a talking to, and they were very sheepish and staying out of my way. Perhaps the perimenopause hormones had something to do with it!