My untidiness is a brilliant test for the memory, now where did I put that--------, so the mind has to then work overtime.
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AIBU
Is your house More tidy or More messy since you have been on your own.
(32 Posts)When my dh was here still here(5 yrs) ago, my house was pretty tidy, nothing much out of place, hoovered every other day, washing up done straight away,washing dried put away etc etc beds straightened.
But since dh died, I cant seem to keep house tidy not have the inclination, I think my brain thinks!! well there's only me here!
why bother.
My bedrooms are a tip (oh yes they are) ;) I cant see the carpet, piles of washing(clean).
Iv'e tried forcing myself "come on mrs get sorted" but nope.
I like a tidy house but just doesn't seem to matter much any more.
I have approx 9 plastic boxes (ready to tidy stuff away) all with coloured lids , but nope! the enthusiasm doesn't arrive.
Even setting myself the task of one room at a time doesnt help.
So..............are you more tidy ?or less tidy? now your on your own.
I've lived on my own for donkey's years and rarely have visitors, apart from my sons, but I do like to keep everything clean and tidy. No way can I sit and relax when I know there is washing up to be done or a bit of fluff to be picked off the floor. I'm sad, I know!.
bikergran far more important in my opinion.x
I've never been particularly tidy, but I try harder now.
I set myself tasks and then have a reward, this seems to work for me.
>>>>>> walks off slowly with arms slung down side, to start on the kitchen>>>>>> (thats after I have finished my and Gnet
Much tidier! DH never noticed mess and was always telling me to leave things. He always had piles of magazines around and never threw anything out and he was a great hoarder; I hardly dared touch his stuff, but I did deal with small amounts on the quiet. Plus the fact that we enjoyed each other's company and I didn't want to spend time on cleaning when we had each other. We'd rather sit in the garden or go out!
Now he's gone though I do spend more time just keeping things tidy - but not necessarily cleaning. I only have a real blitz when I know visitors are expected, which reminds me that I am hosting a coffee morning on Monday, so Sunday will be spent doing a top to bottom clean! Although I am quite fussy about my bedroom and the bathrooms, and pay attention to them.
Definitely more messy. I used to be such a neat freak when my son lived at home. When he left and moved in with his girlfriend I got a cat for company and everything went to pot! My son doesn't understand why I don't worry about cat toys everywhere, mucky paw prints, clawed carpets. He says "mum, do you love the cat more than me". Not true, but how can I tell my darling kitty cat off. ??
gingko biloba hmmm sounds interesting.
I'm not a tidy person but the house is tidier because I've simply got rid of a lot of things I don't wear, or use regularly.
I have a selection of winter and summer clothes and they come out, according to season, each year.
You could put everything I possess on the bedroom floor and it wouldn't cover the carpet.
In fact I was marvelling today just how long I've owned at least 2 garments.
One nightdress I bought in Yeadon when I was about to go into hospital to have my first baby (1970). It's well mended, seams re-sewn and new lace but it still fits.
Then I'm actually wearing a peach coloured petticoat with cream lace my mother bought me when we lived in Bradford, I think it came from M&S in Darley Street.
I wasn't married at the time so that was prior to 1969.
So to me, the answer is: the less you own, the less you have to tidy up.
And whilst it may not be relevant to you bikergran when I go through periods of lethargy and not wanting to bother with anything, it's usually because I've run out of iron tablets.
So I get myself back on that and gingko biloba - and within days I'm ready to leap about and tidy/clean/mend everything in sight.
?
annesixty
My husband is a bit the same. Cases unpacked, washer on, post opened etc.
It can be a bit exhausting. I like life at a slower pace. He says I’m lazy ....
?
I wonder what life would be like if I’d married another (cheerful) laid back person instead?
Maybe we’d never get anything done....
Funny thing though.... whikst I've generally become more "slovenly", I still cannot leave the house with the bed unmade. On the rare occasion that I've done so, my heart sinks when I go upstairs and see a heap of bed clothes that have to be made before I can get in it again! couldn't possibly climb into an unmade bed ?
annsixty
Another thing my H insisted on was, when we came back from holiday the cases had to be unpacked as soon as we came through the door , no time even for a cup of tea.
This was whatever time we arrived home.
The washer was always on before we went to bed.
I haven't been on holiday since he died but you can bet your life if I do that case will not be unpacked until I am ready.
It’s tidier now purely because had so much ‘stuff’ which has now been gifted to family or to the charity shop and now it’s only me I’m a bit of a neat freak I have a place for everything and everything in its place ?I can’t help it ?
also my small house is open plan with conservatory so everything on show, no doors to shur things away (except upstairs and bathroom) they have doors lol.
Interesting replies.
Smileless my house is clean but messy, I throw my clothes/clean washing on floor,etc you know! then when you need clean clothes you go n rummage through the piles.
When dh was here we were both tidy, he would put out door shoes away in cabinet, hang his clothes up if we had been out, even when he was ill he was tidy (the love)
Thing is I enjoy tidying up for others
I tidy my mum n dads flat (their both in their 80s)
I spend lot of time at my dds gardening, tidying, D.I Y ing.
My bathroom is always clean n tidy very minimalistic.
Yes prob still stuggling but no excuse!!! tut!!
I also work part time, but no excuse.
So.....I shall make a plan! lol .
Cherrytree yes I have spare little bedroom, but that is cluttered lol.with clothes I have tossed in.
Its like a whirlwind when Gson comes to sleep (they wouldn't notice anyway)
annsixty I think we are alike at the moment, hey we could do a house swap, you tidy mine and I will tidy yours lol.
I'm quite comfy in my home, its 20 yr sold so was new build.
Well, I’m only on my own for a week or so out here in Malaga as my husband had to return home earlier than planned.
I’m more slovenly. It’s only a small place too!
I was going out with friends last night for pizza, got ready then glanced at the kitchen sink - not a pot washed since breakfast (okay, only for one, but then coffee, a jug, another plate, a wine glass ...)
Actually I’m quite enjoying it. My husband is anally tidy. I’m the beneficiary I suppose.
They say opposites attract ...
??
My late husband was the tidy one, something which he'd picked up from being in the Merchant Navy where living quarters were at a premium so he'd learned to keep everything in order. His drawers/wardrobe/desk were immaculate. Everything had to be folded neatly. He could put his hand on anything he wanted at the time while I'd be hunting high and low for what I needed.
Mine were a different kettle of fish and I've never changed. I used to give him nightmares hahahaha.
My Ex was so tidy that it got on my nerves...and my untidiness most definitely got on his. We were not compatible at all.
Now, my house is as messy as I let it be. I try to keep the lounge tidy , because I am a pop-in type of person and my neighbours are constantly popping in for a chat. I sit mainly in the dining room with a little tv, with mess all around me. I can see 4 pairs of sandals strewn over the floor (that's how I had a nasty fall recently). I can see the dining table full of bags of shopping I haven't put away (except the frozen prawns). But bliss - no one to tell me when to tidy up !!!
Mine is definitely tidier since I retired. I like the minimalist look and feel happier with clear spaces. I've even got a couple of empty drawers! I am much more relaxed.
A couple of years ago I emptied the kitchen cupboards of everything I hadn't used for a year and stored it all in a big box. I have only retrieved one thing from the box (and that would only have cost me a fiver if I'd bought a new one). Cooking etc is now so much easier. The contents of the box is shortly heading to the charity shop.
But everyone is different - if your home is making you feel miserable then just change it a little bit at a time. Start with one drawer, a whole room is far too much.
I noticed that my mother got untidier after Dad died. She also started hoarding. It seemed to be that she needed stuff around her to compensate for his absence.
bikergran How does your house feel to you?
Is it what you would call comfy and homely?
If so then let it be.
Just do jobs if and when you feel up to it.
My priorities would a clean kitchen and bathroom.
If you have a second bedroom, put all clean washing and other stuff in there until you can be bothered to sort it.
You will then have reclaimed your bedroom allowing you a calm space to sleep or just to chill out in
Much more untidy now.
My H was a clean freak, everything had to be put away immediately, after he developed dementia he was worse, a cup and saucer just left on the work top would have him fretting until I dealt with it, he never did although he would have done so before.
Now I am almost like a child being wilful.
Dishes get left, clothes get left on a chair in my bedroom and tables get cluttered.
I actually like living in a house that looks lived in.
"I simply cannot function if everything round me is disordered" me too Monica, even as a child.
Mr. S. and I were both smokers when we met and married, he's given up but I still do restricting myself to the kitchen diner.
He's not bad on the being tidy front but I had no idea how tidy or not he was until I married him.
I'm much more tidy. My DH died quite a long time before my sons moved out. My sons had so much stuff/clutter so without that it is much better. I admit I have lapsed a bit since I moved and no longer have to keep it immaculate for viewings.
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