Belated greetings by Facebook.

I love Facebook and use it as a way of keeping in touch with a large circle of friends, keeping abreast of news and local events, sharing photographs etc. I love people and am interested in the lives of people I know and just dont understand why people get so hot under the collar about it. Its communication and we all benefit from that!

Your SIL was at best thoughtless, at worst on an appalling ego trip. Forget it and focus on your lovely family and friends who made your birthday memorable in the nicest possible way.

Just maintain whatever contact and relationship with your SIL makes you happy and comfortable.

Congratulations on your 'big' birthday!

Discount last comment. As you are not on FB, they wouldn't know. Or would they???? I removed my FB birthday it seemed rather silly. Getting the same comments each year and from people who would not even remember without FB's help.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FB has its uses. But mine was accessed recently and I had to close it and opened another. I don't think it's safe to share personal details that could be misused on any site. I haven't any personal details on mine.

She wouldn't even have to remember. FB would tell her.

I feel like a dinosaur at work. As they
Live their lives on it don’t care love gransnet not keen on Facebook but understand it’s a choice thing .

Some people live a fantasy life on FB. My SIL is like this. Wouldn't dream of saying it to your face, but make sure everybody else knows how 'lovely' they are by posting effusive messages, revolting sentimental memes and appeals for charity they never contribute to. My advice is just to let it go! You're not going to change her. However, if she has revealed something personal on FB, I would speak to her.

You aren’t being unreasonable I find it very odd that she would post it on Facebook, since you wanted it kept low key and you aren’t even on it, what’s that all about

Wow thought I was the only person in the world not on Facebook Lol!!
Glad there are others who do not see the point but each to his own!

What a nasty, self-centred, inconsiderate person your SIL is! You are not being unreasonable to feel so hurt; the very fact that she didn't acknowledge your DD health problems is disgraceful and clearly this has added to your upset! How childish of SIL to post a birthday message on a social network platform that you are not part of, this beggars belief!

I'd say, put it all behind you, you had a lovely day obviously and it's great news that your DD is now much better. You do t need these toxic individuals in your life so give her a wide berth from now on and only contact her when you absolute need to do so.

I use FB only for specific groups and it’s a great way to keep in touch with fabulous people who have the same interests as me. As for family I have unfollowed them as it was so boring getting posts like ‘watching film xx’ or ‘I’m fed up’. They have phones etc and I drawn the line at living my life vicariously through FB ?

I love FB and am on it all the time, I have hundreds of friends from around the world and love seeing what they are up to , I always send birthday messages when they crop up , but of course family and friends get a card and present from me. I have a brother in New Zealand and without FB I wouldn't get to see his home or children or nearly as much as I do now.

I would ask her to delete the post. No one should share private information without your permission. I am on fb minimal use- but I don't put any details on my profile.

FB is very handy tor keeping you in the loop, you miss a lot of what your family are up to if you don't at least read what people post.
I learn which country DD is working in this week or what new car has been purchased by DIL, probably would not be mentioned in everyday conversation.
I always send birthday cards but add a greeting online too because cards have been known to go astray.

I came off FB when they did one of those 'memory' things and it was about a friend who had died as if it was something to celebrate. I don't like the way they harvest data and sell it on either.

You can't post a message to someone on Facebook unless the person is a registered member on Facebook so you must have signed up to Facebook at some point. Have you forgotten as your details will still be there? If you don't use it and have an account it would be better and safer to delete it. Unless the message was posted on someone else's Facebook page which is a different matter.

I would never, ever post anything on FB about someone who doesn't use it. Why would anyone do that? For one thing, they are not going to see the post anyway, and for another thing, there must be a reason they choose not to use FB, and the reason may well be that they don't want their personal life splashed all over any social media platform. That is their choice and other people should respect that.

What a very strange thing for your SiL to do. I would be severely taking her to task about it.

Whenever someone treats you badly always assume that’s their normal and do the same in return - they can hardly complain can they?

YRNBU

Yes I use FB and have just posted a HB to my little grandson in NZ for tomorrow for his mum and our family to see but wouldn't do it for an adult who isn't on FB. Our niece has stopped using it so I don't bother but do send a card as I do for everyone else.

No you are not being unreasonable. Its akin to sending a birthday card to a random house on your street. What's her game do you think

I know I'm being a grouch really.I think it was phoning her today made me feel a bit' stuff it ,why bother' .
I think it comes on the back of a long friendship that recently ended which I realised had run it's course and was very one sided.And irritation hit today.
At the end of the day she's DHs only sister now as his other one died far too young .She frustrates DH too -but I think if a real emergency cropped up she would be there for us.I really miss his other sister and her phone calls,letters and thoughtfulness generally- even though she also used social media it never replaced the personal contact.
Good idea about sending a late message on FB via our DC !I must confess in recent years I've always dispatched DH to choose a card and gift and make sure she gets it on time.

I don't use FB either so would never know if someone sent me a message unless my family told me. I find it odd that your sister in law did this but people just assume the whole world loves FB.

I love Facebook and congratulate everyone’s whose birthday it is as it comes up, obviously close friends get cards or outings, presents etc as well as do anyone who is not on fb but it is normal for fb community to do just that however you wouldn’t do it if the other person is not a fb member as there’s no reason to if the recipient is not going to see it so not at all sure where she’s coming from or why she would do that ...strange lady