Don’t want to go

I would make a fleeting visit (conjure up a feasible reason) and in the same breath make it known that the two of you will be going out to celebrate anyway...

I agree with LuckyGirl. I don't go anywhere, or see anyone I don't like. Perhaps you could come up with an excuse not to go? Then take your friend out for lunch?

I would go. Why be mean to your friend just because his daughter organises it? Especially if you have another like minded friend to go with. Leave early if you like but see what you think on the night. If you don’t go what a snub to your friend

I would stop by with a handmade cake or desert and say, "I'm so sorry I can't stay as I'm just on my way to _ but wanted to bring this by and give you a hug. Let's have lunch some time this week" or something to that effect.

I think you should go. Your friend will be pleased to see you there.
I would go with an open mind, you may enjoy it - even the canapés!

I would go. You may well enjoy it. You may find you like the people more than you thought you did and it is only for a few hours of your life. Support your friend.

One tip for relaxing you and ensuring you have fun:

Just imagine anyone you don't like as being trouserless (or nude, depending how the mood takes you)

canapés

I really don’t like the daughter as she and most of her family are snobby, looks down their noses at ‘plebs’

But she has invited you Ohmother, so she obviously thinks that you are not a pleb and are socially acceptable!


Go, enjoy yourself, try not to be too assertive (remember, the party is for your friend) and enjoy the canapes!

The party is for your friend, not his daughter, so I'd go. You now say you have a fellow reluctant-party-goer so link arms and be friends in adversity! Stay for a polite length of time then go home and laugh at his daughter's ridiculousness.

The party is sure to have more guests than just the family members you don't like. Parties are for mingling, so perhaps you will find some guests you know and like. You know your friend would like you to be there so how are you going to explain your absence if you stay away? If I were you I'd go and enjoy the canapés and maybe a glass or two of bubbly. Throw your misgivings to the wind!

If you think a lot of your friend, why not go for a short period? Have an excuse ready to make an exit. Perhaps get a friend to ring you halfway through to provide you with one.

If you're enjoying the party, you can stay. Friend on the phone can be primed for this eventuality.

You can still go out to lunch another time with your friend.

You're being invited by the daughter, as it's a surprise.
Imagine, though, that your friend invited you. Wouldn't you go, at least for a short while, t to please him?

I see you've said you will go with another neighbour. That sounds a good plan.

It’s your friend’s special day/do, not his daughter’s. You know he’d like you there, so why would you let him down? I’m not sure why you wouldn’t eat the canapés. They might be delicious and you might have a good time, who knows?

Yes grapefruit ....are you saying you’ve never heard of them?
Delicious ( or not) little bits and bobs to eat handed out to guests as they stand around drinking and talking.

I would go to the event to please your friend OhMother after all, that’s what it’s about isn’t it, his 70th birthday.We often have to do things we don’t want to really do, (after all, who enjoys hospital visiting or funerals, )but we do it for other people.

canapes?

I would go for a short while then make sure I was double booked and leave.I would then take my friend out for a nice lunch as planned.

I'd accept the invitation but then phone at the last minute to say I can't attend. Unfortunately, I have a temperature, you see, but I'm sure I'll be fine for lunch next week!

I'd manufacture a 'genuine' reason for not going, then make it up to him later, by taking him out to dinner, or getting him a really nice treat.

If it's a big party, lets be honest, you won't be missed. And you can eagerly ask him to tell you ALL about it, when you go out to dinner.

I’d go to show your friend that you care but set my self a limit of an hour and then decide whether I want to stay or leave. You never know, you might have a lovely time!

Oh just read your comment " I won’t eat the canapés offered and just say ‘Sorry, I’ve got three day’s worth of leftovers at home. If I eat that s@&t I won’t have room for my tea. ‘

Sadly I think your attitude needs addressing oh mother. Nothing wrong with canapes imo lol. Don't think that is particularly snobby. Why not just enjoy it for what it is? You don't need to have pre-conceived ideas of what you think you might like?

Go! You don't have to stay all night but if this is a good friend and it is a special birthday and he would like you there then why not go for him and ignore the people you don't like?

Still take him out as planned by yourself too. Make it really special for him.

I would grin and bear it. Someday, or may be already, someone has felt like that about the other guests or some other reason that meant that they really didn't want to accept an invitation from you. If they avoided it, you may well have been hurt by their absence, or their presence made your day.

We cannot have life all our way all the time, and sometimes it is grinning and bearing it on occasions like this, is that makes us the person other people like to know.

It won'tkill you, so go. Put on a good face and internally think what you like of your fellow guests, you might even think hard and very gently wind them up a bit!

Go to the party for a short while to support your friend,
enjoy yourself listening to the them & throw in a wry smile here & there.
You can still go out for lunch together on a different day.

Pantglas you are so right.

In fact, for my hour of kindness, I’ll go with another friend who does loads for my neighbour but is also reluctant to go as she doesn’t feel comfortable or at least on equal terms with the family.