Don’t want to go

Just go and be polite.Its your friends birthday. If you don’t go it looks like you don’t like your friend enough to bother to go.No need to make loads of excuses. to leave . Say to your friend you are off and you will go out soon .Thank his daughter for the food and inviting you and just go! Don’t make such a big deal of the snobby daughter kill her with charm and kindness.

Don’t go if you don’t want to. You’ll be miserable and possibly not exactly the life and soul of the party. Just make up a prior appointment and see your friend on your own later. Simples!

As for infertility issues, not alone at a party for 70’s

Just read read my post and it looks as though I was advocating stuffing my face for free then leaving in haste
I really meant stay as long as you are comfortable and it would be rude not to try the nibbles!!

Glad you went and it was ok Om did you stay longer than an hour and sample the canapés ?
That’s what I would have done!
Then left when the conversation became boring boasting or demeaning, as is often the case at these things!!
I have a short fuse with one-upmanship competitions !

Well done, I’m sure you did the right thing. You use relieved.

I can understand you feeling uncomfortable about going - they sound horrid. But, if it were me, I would go as it is about celebrating your friend's birthday and he might feel hurt if you didn't attend. Even if you made up a supposedly plausible excuse for not going, there would, I think, always be a niggling doubt in his mind that you just hadn't wanted to go.

Why not go but not stay too long?

This was a fertile discussion Good for you Ohmother.

Be brave and be bold. Hold your head up high. Make it a challenge to yr own personal self esteem and go. For these reasons alone you will feel better that you had gone.

Good. I hope you behaved yourself?. Was the daughter nice to you?

I went. It was OK. I haven’t got an ‘infertility’ complex anymore. ?

Good luck whatever you decide...

We tend to run around like headless chickens trying to do the things we should do...try taking the word " should" out of your vocabulary I insert the word want....do what you want to do rather than what you think you should do...

Take your neighbour/friend out, you’re busy other engagements.

I agree with Anthea. There is no obligation to go just because you've been invited. Why bother if you don't think you'll enjoy yourself? Any real friend will understand that.

I love "infertility complex". That sounds like a grand metaphor for something or other.

I think you should take your friend out to lunch, as you'd planned and, personally, I wouldn't go. Life's too short.

Granny Square, what a super reply! Thanks, I will try to remember it.

I'd go and make a study of the snobbish girl . I wish I could go with you and I'd enjoy trying to draw her out. I wonder what makes her tick.

Since I had a new tablet, I have to check everything because it has a mind of it's own and types just what it thinks I want to say - when I know what I mean!

See - it's just changed its above to it's!

Haha “inferiority complex“.

Lumarei
I think your post has been subjected to the dreaded auto-text!

Anyway what does it mean „looking down their noses“? A friend of mine thought that of so many people when really all that was happening was that she had some infertility complex.

I am totally with MOnica.
Would you also not go to his funeral because of family? After all you can‘t give him a surprise do by yourself.

Reading between the lines Ohmother you don‘t seem to „know“ the daughter and family - just what you heard from your neighbor. They may be lovely people.

Well I wouldn’t make any stupid excuses that I wasn’t feeling well and will have to leave early, I cannot abide snobs in any which way, but it’s a party being held for your good friend and it’s their night not yours so I would go with a friend and make the most of it, your friend I’m sure would be really disappointed if you didn’t go,Snobby ppl at a party wouldn’t keep me away, if they want to look down their noses as you say it wouldn’t bother me it says more about them, but I would definately be there for a good friend