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AIBU

Faffing about.

(60 Posts)
kircubbin2000 Tue 05-Nov-19 15:22:55

I am not allowed to drive after my eye op so friend drove me and waited 15 mins at the doctor.
My punishment came next. She drove erratically to several shops then left me in car while she went to the bank.25 minutes later she came back ,did a u turn across traffic then we went to Lidl.Half an hour later she was still pottering while I waited. I told her I usually did banking on line which is much quicker but she wasn't interested. Glad to be home and hope to drive myself next time.Kind of her though but I have no patience.

Callistemon Thu 07-Nov-19 11:07:16

My Sis-IL tells me that there is a 'friends' group which offers a car service for patients at her local surgery. Since she gave up driving, she has been very grateful for its services.

On another point - how to suggest to a friend that she should perhaps relinquish her driving licence?
I expect short shrift if I do say anything.

Marydoll Thu 07-Nov-19 08:06:56

For the last six months I have had to rely on my family for lifts to medical appointments, some early in the morning or a distance away, I would never dream of criticising them if they tried to fit in some chores around the visits.
I'm just so grateful to get a lift and that they have given up their valuable time to take me.
Even if it was a lighthearted moan, take a taxi in future, if you have problems with your friend's standard of driving.
I think you are very lucky to have a friend who cares enough to take you.
If it had been me, I would have taken the opportunity to go into Lidl with her and stock up!! grin
My very comfortably off son, used to turn his nose up at Lidl until he tried it. He is one of their best customers now!

Grammaretto Thu 07-Nov-19 07:49:54

I think YABU .
When i grumbled to FiL recently that there was hospital transport so he didn't need me every time as a taxi for his op appointments, he had the cheek to tell me it was too slow!
I guess he's family so I have to drive but if he dares to criticise my driving. Grrr.....
In the days when he could drive, did he ever offer lifts? Ask yourself Kircubbin would you have done the same for her?

MawB Thu 07-Nov-19 07:39:15

I was mainly taking issue with Annep1 who clearly thinks all you say is justified.
Perhaps it was a light hearted moan, if so I am sorry that I, along with others, took you seriously.

I will however be very careful about my standards of driving, punctuality and absence of “faffing” whenever I give lifts to friends who no longer drive.

kircubbin2000 Thu 07-Nov-19 07:28:58

You're not going to let this go are you Maw? It was a light hearted moan, friend didn't notice I was vexed as I am too polite to let it show or openly criticise her driving.

MawB Thu 07-Nov-19 05:35:03

Basically, if you want to call the shots, use a taxi another time.
I think the criticism of her driving was however the lowest part of what was effectively a good old moan,

MawB Thu 07-Nov-19 05:33:15

And if someone I was with spent twenty five minutes in the bank I would probably suggest Internet banking in case they hadn't thought of it and might be glad to know
That would be very patronising and given the timing, extremely obvious.
The word entitled springs to mind

annep1 Thu 07-Nov-19 03:59:41

Distance could be relevant. True...

crazyH Wed 06-Nov-19 22:41:37

If I have specifically been asked to give my friend/neighbour a lift to and from an appointment, that would be my only mission. Once I have dropped her back, I would carry on with the rest of my errands. But then I don't know what distances are involved here.

annep1 Wed 06-Nov-19 22:31:23

Several shops, 25 minutes bank, Lidl half hour, thats not just popping into a shop. I think I might feel grumpy after all that.
And if someone I was with spent twenty five minutes in the bank I would probably suggest Internet banking in case they hadn't thought of it and might be glad to know.

MawB Wed 06-Nov-19 20:58:37

If I offered (as I regularly do) to drive a friend anywhere I would not find it unreasonable to say “while we are out I need to pop into X or Y, do you need anything from them”
And she were to criticise my driving, I might not offer again.

And I would not need her to advise me about internet banking, as I might have had a very good reason to want to go into the branch.

It is downright rude to be so critical and grudging about someone doing OP a favour.

And you wonder that old people get labelled grumpy?

annep1 Wed 06-Nov-19 19:36:41

That wouldn't be my attitude if a friend needed help MawB.

MawB Wed 06-Nov-19 16:47:56

Pipers and tunes, pays and plays, annp1

MawB Wed 06-Nov-19 16:45:38

“Behoves” indeed - wretched autocorrect, worse than GG54

merlotgran Wed 06-Nov-19 16:42:15

Aldi saves me 30% off my weekly shop and I'm in and out in twenty mins.

I shop on auto pilot so if it's boring I haven't noticed. grin

annep1 Wed 06-Nov-19 16:34:37

But she didn't want driven around MawB she just wanted to go to the doctors. Instead it was a long drawn out expedition. She said it was kind of her friend.

JenniferEccles Wed 06-Nov-19 15:40:34

......about Lidl that is!

JenniferEccles Wed 06-Nov-19 15:38:13

Gonegirl I was going to make the same point myself! ?

kircubbin2000 Wed 06-Nov-19 15:23:43

Yes autocorrect changed my post.

Gonegirl Wed 06-Nov-19 15:16:51

behoves?

Gonegirl Wed 06-Nov-19 15:16:27

They are like boring warehouses. (to Maw)

kircubbin2000 Wed 06-Nov-19 14:58:35

Deleted at user's request

MawB Wed 06-Nov-19 14:50:53

Well I think it says that if a friend is kind enough to drive one around , Kircubbin, it behaves one to show a modicum of gratitude.
If not, pay for a taxi.

MawB Wed 06-Nov-19 14:49:07

Gonegirl ! ???
Lidl and Aldi are brilliant shops!

Namsnanny Wed 06-Nov-19 14:12:36

I probably shouldn’t have, but I found the description of your friends driving laugh out loud ? funny!
U turns with no thought of other drivers!!!
Shows she’s in a world of her own doesn’t it?
So it stands to reason she’s not going to give your needs a thought is she?
Relying on someone is always a bit tricky.