Gransnet forums


School pick up.

(16 Posts)
kircubbin2000 Thu 14-Nov-19 17:11:41

For the last 10 years I have looked after grs,taken to nursery then school twice a week.Next year he starts big school and it will not be a convenient place for me to drive and collect. I feel I've done my duty and would like my days free to do something else.
I don't know how to broach this with son but I find the responsibility stressful .

Pantglas2 Thu 14-Nov-19 17:14:31

You will need to mention this soon so that alternative arrangements can be put in place by the parents kircubbin2000.

Calendargirl Thu 14-Nov-19 17:51:00

Is it assumed by your son that you will still be doing the school run when the change of school happens? Could grandson travel by bus perhaps?
I don’t think you are being unreasonable to want things to change, 10 years is a good stretch, but as previously mentioned, the subject is best broached ASAP to enable changes to be made and to give it plenty of time to sink in.

M0nica Thu 14-Nov-19 17:59:36

When children get to secondary school they want to start travelling independently and you may find your grandson doesn't want his grandma ferrying him too and fro.

DGD walks a mile and a half to school each day. When she started she and a group of friends got together and organised their own walking bus. DGD was the furthest, she was joined by her best friend a couple of hundred yards from home and gradually the numbers built up so they started secondary school arriving in a group of eight. She is now in Year 8, and with the group all having lots of different before and after school the group has broken up, but by now she is confident with the walk, which is all down a busy well lit main road. On really wet days she catches a bus.

kittylester Thu 14-Nov-19 18:00:24

There was no way that my senior school grandson will let me collect him. My granddaughter is in her final year at junior school and I have to wait for her at home!! If theur mum is not far behind them they are ok on their own.

I would think that was the case for you too!

Hetty58 Thu 14-Nov-19 18:03:45

My grandchildren start taking themselves to school and back in the last year of primary!

watermeadow Thu 14-Nov-19 18:33:02

My London granddaughter started secondary school with a 2 bus journey and took it in her stride. She has to leave home at 7.30am.
Why not ask your grandson what his plans are for getting to school?

merlotgran Thu 14-Nov-19 18:41:07

On the rare occasions when I picked up DGS3 from secondary school - usually because he'd missed the bus, I had to park around the corner.

kircubbin2000 Thu 14-Nov-19 19:08:55

Some good ideas here, I think there is a bus. His mum has him very petted and he has never gone anywhere on his own so perhaps he will be more independent soon.

Sussexborn Thu 14-Nov-19 19:25:42

Now is the time to start doing a few practice runs at the weekends or during the holidays.

GS2’s primary school head suggested they start walking to school during their last year and he now seems ok going to and from his new school. A lot depends on the amount of traffic and roads to cross.

Can remember a mother who insisted on walking her son to school long after the other children were going solo. He used to walk ahead of her with his arm extended behind him trying to ward her off and put a distance between them.

MamaCaz Thu 14-Nov-19 19:55:34

I second what has already been said - raise the issue asap with the parents, making them aware that you don't want /intend to continue offering a pick-up service once your DGS changes school, while they still have plenty of time to sort out a solution necessary.

You never know, they might already have thought ahead and be able to put your mind at rest immediately.

eazybee Thu 14-Nov-19 19:57:16

If by big school you mean Secondary school, your grandson should be responsible for getting himself there, either by foot, bicycle or bus. Ten is the age when children are deemed capable of crossing roads and dealing with traffic, if not necessarily by bicycle.

trisher Thu 14-Nov-19 20:05:57

I agree with the others. Are there children living near your DGS who will be going to the same school? If so now is the time for him to start chatting to them about how they will be getting there. My DGS also put restrictions on where he could be picked up if he had to be. It wasn't until about year 10 that he agreed to be picked up in the school car park until then anyone collecting him had to park round the corner. If the parents are worried perhaps you could suggest in his last term at primary he walks half way home and meets you there.

Callistemon Thu 14-Nov-19 20:41:07

DGD has just started senior school and goes by bus.

I must admit I spent time worrying about her getting soaking wet, Lking to the bus stop, waiting at the bus stop, walking from the bus, this morning and hoped she wasn't sitting in wet clothes

Oh dear, always a worrier. DH said 'we all had to do it'!

Callistemon Thu 14-Nov-19 20:41:30


jura2 Thu 14-Nov-19 20:44:18

In short, it is not your job nor your responsibility and you deserve time to yourself. It is so so wrong that it is expected of you.