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AIBU

Christmas lunch

(93 Posts)
Alexa Sat 21-Dec-19 19:18:29

My nice dear son, who like myself, is on his own this Xmas has just informed me he has bought a turkey crown and will come here and cook my "Xmas lunch" for me. He said the use by date on the turkey crown is the 27th.

I'd not keep fresh meat in the fridge as long as this. I would not enjoy eating meat that has been stored as long as this. I'd be worried for his health . I don't want to hurt his feelings, as he feels he is doing the right thing and doing me a good turn. For myself, I'm not traditional about Xmas food, but he is traditional about Xmas food..
I did actually say to him I'd not have bought fresh meat to keep for so long before use. and he replied as if his feelings were hurt. He offered to give it away to someone else.
Any ideas what to say, or just to go along with the horrible turkey and risk food poisoning? He is not even a particularly good cook. Gosh I hope he doesn't read this!

Hithere Thu 26-Dec-19 15:08:01

I agree you owe your son a huge apology

Callistemon Thu 26-Dec-19 14:49:34

The gammon looks absolutely fine and is soaking in water; I will roast it later (after having a good sniff first!)

If all is well I think it will keep for much longer than tomorrow once it's been thoroughly cooked.

DH will eat most things anyway

Dinahmo Thu 26-Dec-19 14:23:24

Alexa V. pleased that it all worked out well.

Alexa Thu 26-Dec-19 12:39:37

Thank you Lucywinter and Callistemon.

These extraordinary social experiences such as Xmas celebrations are potential learning opportunities. Therefore thanks to all who posted ideas to this thread.

The dinner itself was great! My daughter in law and my granddaughter together cooked a delicious spread for us all.

I drank a lot of coffee and stayed up till the small hours binging on Peaky Blinders.

lucywinter Thu 26-Dec-19 12:20:25

You still on your feet Alexa? 🙂

Callistemon Thu 26-Dec-19 10:19:11

I hope you all enjoyed your Christmas dinner in the end, Alexa

I would have been quite happy with that turkey even though I do have to be careful with food. The gammon I bought (from Waitrose) the Friday previously and said 'use by 26th December' - which surprised me (I usually check dates much more carefully). As we weren't going to be here I put it in the freezer and took it out late last night, hope it's going to be OK today!

We used to see all the turkeys hung for a while in the butchers' shops at this time of year.

Do you have a food thermometer? It's a good idea to use one to make sure poultry etc is cooked thoroughly.

M0nica Thu 26-Dec-19 09:12:25

I do not think *Granyanarchist is off topic. The OP is someone who is clearly worries too much and about the safety of her food. I was reading the book The Diet Myth by Tim Spector recently and he points out that food poisoning from handling food within the home is almost unknown. Almost all food poisoning is caused by mishandling of food outside the home during the production, shipping and storage in the shop/restaurant etc.

Cooking food through throughly at a high enough temperature for long enough, will kill anything harmful.

Bear in mind that all game, including venison, is 'hung' for days, occasionally weeks before being consumed and good butchers will advertise for how long their beef is hung before it gets onto the shop counter and well-aged beef commands a premium price.

Sparkling Thu 26-Dec-19 04:33:38

You seem to have an obsession about germs and cleanliness, have you always been like this? It is absolutely normal for all prepacked meat and poultry to have best by dates. The meat your daughter is going to serve up will no doubt have had one, as will any meat you eat out.

Saggi Tue 24-Dec-19 08:58:32

It’s the 27th... what on earth is the problem ... nothing. You are obviously a worrier. Your son has offered to cook for you both of you ( I wish). Sit back and let your adult son pamper you and enjoy the result... lucky you.

Alexa Tue 24-Dec-19 07:47:50

Thanks Alikelly, My sons are lovely, and they are happy. I like my daughters in law too.

Alikelly Mon 23-Dec-19 21:33:55

How lucky you are to have such a thoughtful son. I’d have no problem allowing/encouraging my son to cook a turkey crown that’s well within the use by date. Have a lovely Christmas with your boy.

Tedber Mon 23-Dec-19 20:35:51

A bit off topic but granarchist. You are so right! Researchers are now looking into whether or
not living in a sterile environment is actually preventing the build up of bacterial defenses and doing more harm than good.

I think the general rule must always be a happy medium!

An anecdote: lived next door to two brothers many moons ago. I called in daily to see if they wanted any shopping etc. They weren’t particular about hygiene at all. Bathed once a week, used the outside loo, no washbasin, shaved and washed in sink! Doubt they ever used bleach or anti back cleaner on work surfaces etc. Food was left on work surfaces. NEITHER of them ever had flu, common cold even and not a day off sick in their lives 50 plus years. (working outside on the land). One died at 82 - heart failure and the other is still with us 90+. Still never having had any kind of illness. So yes could be something in your statement?

MiniDriver56 Mon 23-Dec-19 20:31:49

I bought mine today with 26th on it snd we are having it Xmas day. Simples!

Alexa Mon 23-Dec-19 19:25:46

DancesWithOtters, I confused myself between meat going bad and meat with pathogens in it. Not the same thing at all. There is no real question of the turkey going bad. However need to take care how to prepare it because of the pathogens.

As has been pointed out, cooking at 60 degrees for the correct time will kill the pathogens in the meat.

Alexa Mon 23-Dec-19 19:18:11

Elegran, thanks but he knew of the invitation before I did, They conferred together .

Granarchist Mon 23-Dec-19 19:16:45

OK so hand on heart - how many people here have actually had food poisoning? How many of them have had food poisoning in a private home? (Me once in 1970 in France and never at home). Now - I am nearly 70, we never had bacterial wipes, we didn't have sell by or use by dates on things - we did the sniff test and used our loaf. I've eaten roast duck that landed on the kitchen floor (oops) - we curried a chicken that our terrier dragged back from the butcher - and amazingly we are all here to tell the tale. I do understand that some people get in a real state about sell by dates etc but frankly I hover round the knocked down produce aisle and get some amazing bargains for things which often are fine to freeze and eat later anyway. There is huge research showing that trying to live in a bug free environment is actually detrimental to our immune system. So let him cook and enjoy the meal.

Tedber Mon 23-Dec-19 17:23:15

Pleased you have sorted it. Hope your son is happy going to his brothers although if HE was looking forward to turkey and he’s invited to a veggie only house maybe he would like to cook it beforehand and take with him? Just a thought.

Also am sorry you don’t feel very merry and not really bothered. You sound like you have a nice thoughtful family. That should fill you with happiness. Make the most of it. Have a glass of wine or two and relax (if you enjoy a tipple that is)

Wishing you a peaceful Christmas! Mine will be anything but peaceful! But will be merry!

notanan2 Mon 23-Dec-19 16:07:38

The turkeys BOUGHT on christmas eve arent fresher than ones bought before. They're the same batch.

You are being irrational

Elegran Mon 23-Dec-19 15:58:31

He will also be aware that you would rather eat with your other son and his wife. I hope he is as easy-going as his brother.

When you phone to tell him of this new development, why not suggest that as he is also invited, and so doesn't need to eat the turkey on Wednesday, he could cook it before then, carve it, and freeze it for eating cold later. That would save him quite a lot of cooking in 2020.

seacliff Mon 23-Dec-19 15:53:04

Glad you will now have the veggie meal you wanted. So now your son has the turkey to eat and cook just for him, by 27th?

Alexa Mon 23-Dec-19 15:18:20

Thanks Elaine. I have a high opinion of grans together for couselling and advice. There is a big benefit from various opinions and from grans' consensus too .

" ---can handle such a discussion." Probably not!

"honest but light -hearted apology". That is what I will do. One of the other grans too has suggested this.

DancesWithOtters Mon 23-Dec-19 15:17:44

I am very confused.

Why cant you eat a turkey crown on the 25th that has a use by date of the 27th?

Alexa Mon 23-Dec-19 15:09:57

Razzy, what a good post! I am particularly interested in factory farmed poultry for its salmonella and campylobacter content. But as you surmised there is something else going on.

I am obliged to my son for all his care of me , hated maybe to have hurt his feelings and was hoping for grans en masse to tell me what to do about weighing up the danger of an inexperienced cook cooking turkey against being nice and grateful to my kind and well meaning son.

Personally I can take Xmas or leave it either way I don't care a lot what I do about Xmas. I tend to eat veggy anyway.

I had a phone call a few mins ago and my concerns have vanished. There was an invitation for both of us to my easy going veggy other son and his wife.

Razzy Mon 23-Dec-19 11:25:54

Alexa, do you always have an issue with use by dates on food? Is this something you are anxious or obsessed about? Has your son, or someone else close to you, had food poisoning? It seems a very strange post and a very strange worry, to suggest you will get food poisoning eating a cooked turkey that is well within its use by date. Are you worried your son won't cook it right?
I'm sorry, I don't really understand what the problem is? What use by date would you want to see? I eat stuff days after the use by date, as long as it looks alright and smells alright.
Is there something else going on in your life that is causing you to focus in the negatives of your family coming to cook you Xmas lunch? I would be ecstatic! You mentioned food poisoning a number of times, as if you are expecting it, even though the turkey is perfectly safe. Have you had it before? Or lost someone close to you because of it?

Menopauselbitch Mon 23-Dec-19 09:56:43

So, if you went in the shop today and the turkey had the 27th on it you would think that was fine. People wasting good food because of sellbuy dates. Do you know the sell by dates on the food you eat out? I think you are being really stupid.