Dolls for boys and cars for girls

SirChenjin: it’s about gender stereotyping from a very early age which is then assimilated into the brains of young children
I think there are enough posts here which prove that children make their own choices when they are allowed to. As I said, my grandsons were crazy about cars from babyhood and before they were old enough to be brainwashed. Some children change their preferences as they grow and develop. I don't think for a minute that you can brainwash children to prefer certain types of toys.

Thank you Hetty Maud and V3ra for your posts.
My elder son played endlessly with toy soldiers .
Did it make him aggressive?
I think not.I am proud to say that he is a very well respected GP .
I don’t know about a shift in social attitudes ,SirChenjin.
I think we older parents might have done something right.
We didn’t have the knife crime then we have now.
(Sorry I have gone off topic)

Well boys become daddies and have to look after their babies some of the time, and girls become women who drive. Makes sense for all kids to have the entire range of toys. Though I would take their personal interests into account too, and not try to insist a girl who only likes construction toys receives dolls she doesn't want.

And rightly so Lanclass, judging by your posts.

This isn’t about whether individual children prefer playing with X toy over Y - it’s about gender stereotyping from a very early age which is then assimilated into the brains of young children and how parents (with many years of such stereotyping under theair belts) raise their children, subconsciously or consciously.

Fortunately the ASA have recognised that adverts which reinforce these stereotypes are not helpful - and hopefully more manufacturers and retailers will find that their ads are pulled as a result. There’s still a far way to go but I think we’re starting to see a shift on societal attitudes, thankfully.

I always preferred cars and bikes as a kid. People would buy me dolls and I'd hate them. One of my boys loved dolls and prams for a while. My girls are both very girly despite having 2 big brothers and access to different toys. I think kids just like what they like and shouldn't be made to feel excluded from playing with anything. I'm a lot girlier these days but i still love DIY and my husband still cooks. I had an external decorator round once while I was cutting the hedge say "shouldn't your husband be doing that" which made me so angry I complained about him. He was annoyed about that and said so on his next visit. I told him if it wasn't for my landlord hiring him, I'd do a much better job than he had lol

I took my GS, aged 8, to the local museum where there were dozens of items from throughout the ages displayed in a huge floor-to-ceiling cabinet. The first thing he said was, "Wow! Guns!" These were actually pistols simply displayed among the many other artefacts but he was immediately drawn to them. He was never allowed toy guns at home. Sorry but there is a huge difference between the sexes however much people want us to be all the same. It isn't a question of not being equal. It's just being different which is how it should be.

We didn't buy our three children guns on principle (1980s). The youngest would make a gun out of anything and everything: Duplo, sticklebricks, you name it, it became a gun.
Finally one birthday we let him use his money to buy a spy set which included a toy gun and he stood in the queue to pay. "Look what that kid's having" said two other boys in the shop, enviously. My son practically burst with pride.
He's a lovely, calm, kind police officer now.

When our 3 DS were all under six and we didn't have much money so the DGP would buy them a present to share. It was always something "boyish" like a fort, a football game or fisher price airport. Not very boyish but it would never be a dolls' house or pram.

When youngest DS was 2, a toy library opened and the first thing he borrowed was a baby buggy and big doll! Deprived child that he was.
I used to make sleeping bags and knit comfy woollies for Action man. If it wasn't for the horrid scar on his face, he'd have been a good family man.
Barbie was dreadful IMO. Her joints weren't movable like Action Man and as for her feet; they were moulded into the shape of a high heeled shoe.

70 years ago I had boy dolls. I can still remember their names: Joseph and Tim.

I always bought the gifts the kids wanted for Xmas and birthday. We had a very typical gender divided marriage...mum cooks, cleans, irons and shops and dad works...and gardens. Oh...I also worked at 60 hour week as a nurse but hey...my husband earned more as a doctor so made assumptions. Anyhow, the kids boys and girls chose what they played with. Youngest boy loved dolls houses, not dolls, but didn't mind his sister doing his hair with clips and bows. I was relaxed about them playing with anything to the point I had words with the woman that ran playschool and wouldn't let my son play with the dolls house as it was 'right'. They all grew up happy, both boys who are men now are body builders but great dads. Daughter never cooked a meal in her life or cleaned a house, she looks for her boyfriends to do all of that!

When my son was 18 months or so, he adopted one of his big sisters dolls. For about a year, he played with it, pushed it around in a pushchair, put it to bed etc. Then he dropped it and played with 'boys' toys from then on.
I reckon he was lucky to have a big sister to supply this. Incidentally, she didn't play much with all the dolls she had, except by setting up a school/playgroup for them all, with her little brother in the lineup.

I was expecting such a response Sir Chengin.
I have to say I disagree profoundly with what you say
It is nothing to do with sexism.
If a boy wanted a doll then fine .oresumably a parent would have bought him one before now
If a girl likes to play with cars then also fine
Why though encourage them to play with things they may not want to?
Yes it is something to do with my age .
I have been accused of being sexist in the past .

Hetty58: Chestnut, I saw it as the male monkeys rejecting the 'mother' role by choosing the trucks and cars - didn't you?
Not really. I saw them choosing to play with cars and trucks which is exactly what my grandsons did from babyhood. They are car crazy which is not our choice but theirs. No matter how gender-neutral people would like them to be children know what they like and mostly it is cars for boys and dolls for girls, so it's probably in their DNA.

Well I guess people can argue till the cows come home (what does that mean anyway?

Personally I think its a load of hoo haa for the sake of it. Most (sensible) people let their children/grandchildren decide for themselves what they prefer and most accept gifts for them without questioning if they are sexist.

As I said previously - I've been fascinated watching my Grandchildren (got a lot of them) and observing their ways (almost without exception from the time they can pick a toy, they have kept to 'type' No influence, no lack of choice of toys, no just 'pinks' etc. The girls have jeans sure but nothing wrong with a bit of pink and frills (if that is what THEY want) Same with boys, what do THEY want?

Of COURSE there will be exceptions (as with anything) but on the whole is it really anything to be worried about? Seriously?

Also had to laugh because I must be older than some of you. WE (myself included) did have guns! Rifles and handguns with REAL loud ear splitting CAPS. (which if you didn't put in a gun you could jump on they fired away beneath you) Now THAT would be worrying today but am afraid I can't get excited or worried about advertising. Kids will be kids will be kids.

Grannyactivist you can buy the Action man type doll in his army uniform and clothing of that description or else you can get a boy doll called Ken for the Barbie doll range. There are several type dolls (male) for the Sindy and Barbie doll range.
I remember my son having several Rambo dolls as a young child although no interest was shown. My sons favourite play was a child's D.I.Y. set and he would be occupied for hours unscrewing and taking apart all the expensive cars and train sets he had his explanation being he wanted to know what made the wheels turn etc.
I know there are some rag doll toys called Jim and Rosie they are on a T.V. programme and I used to see them at a playgroup I went to not sure why I didn't ask the lady where she bought them. I had a daughter 14 months older than my son so he had access to dolls and buggies but not interested he did not mind the Wendy house and sometimes went in there and fell asleep.

my gc's play with anything,at the moment its kitchens and offices .both share .think dollies are on the out anyway .both like cars/busses/trams.we have a mixture of toys .have you asked the gc what he would like? better to ask than have to return the unwanted toy?

I am a lot older than you I dare say and times have changed

Thankfully they have.

Lancslass1 Good lord, I thought such sexism had long died out! Why on earth would you be unhappy that a boy of yours had a doll? Don't you think nurturing (and imaginative family play) is a quality that should be encouraged in both genders?

If any of you are on Twitter, Kate Long (@volewriter) has several threads on the gender-based clothes pushed towards consumers in stores like M&S and Next. The ones aimed at girls tend to be encouraging them to be sweet, nice, good, pretty and very, very pink. The ones aimed at boys have messages about being adventurous, scientific, bold. It does make you think. I don't want my granddaughters to expect to be biddable and 'nice'. I would never buy her that stuff.

When my daughters were little they had lovely clothes with no messages on, no pics, no stultifying lack of expectations. They rarely wore pink - so much more was on offer. I remember babygros in grey and black stripes - just gorgeous!

I don’t want to appear rude Granny activist but why would you want to buy a boy doll anyway for a boy or cars for a girl?
I don’t know the age of your grandchildren but perhaps a book or a jigsaw might be an appropriate present or if the grandchildren are little a soft toy like a teddy bear.
I would not have been pleased had my mother or mother in law given either of my sons a boy doll but then I am a lot older than you I dare say and times have changed.

Sometimes I wonder if we are trying to move too far towards the gender neutral viewpoint.

A couple of weeks ago I was speaking to the mother of our neighbour.
She is the woman’s mother and was complaining bitterly about the other grandmother who, horror of horrors for Christmas had bought a pram for the granddaughter and cars for the grandson.

She was quite cross about the gender stereotyping but I couldn’t help feeling sorry for the other gran who would have gone out and carefully chosen what she thought would have been appropriate toys for her grandchildren who she doesn’t get to see much as she lives a few hours drive away.

Anyway I have seen the little girl out happily pushing her dolls pram much to the other gran’s dismay no doubt!

I do dislike all the pink stuff, especially that peculiarly garish pink you see everywhere. I did manage to find both a blue doll’s pushchair and a mainly blue doll’s pram for Dgd, though.

My dd was never remotely into dolls or girly things at all, but her own dd has been from a very young age - she’d be nursing baby dolls and putting them to bed from under 2. There’s been no pointing in this direction from dd - it’s what she first gravitated to at nursery in the first place, so I certainly don’t think it’s all down to ‘conditioning’.

Excellent post suzied

Picture this GD age 4 coming down the path pushing doll in pram carrying tool bag , saying Gramps any jobs I have my tools. wanted a work bench for Christmas so we got her one drill with sound, lots of hand tools yellow and black with the name wolf on them. GS was the same always remember he wanted kettle with sounds ,so he could make hot chocolate for his sister when she had finished her diy

Imo the toy and clothes sexism thing is much worse for my DGD than ever it was for my DD who is 25 years older.

Toywise, my sons had whatever they wanted gender wise although they didn’t ask for guns and we wouldn’t have given them. My granddaughter is fed all things pink and glittery by her mother but I have a feeling that she may reject that as she grows up ?. It’s ridiculous that certain toys and the colours pink and blue should have these associations in this day and age but I think it’s more than just shops that follow this.