60 years married

Ydoc make a thread about it to garner support

Go on holiday! The only people you need to make happy are yourselves at this point! Congrats!

Married 40 years, my husband is the worse couch potato ever. He retired at 52 fifteen years ago. He spends all day sitting on sofa clutching remote control. He's had few things wrong with him but after being checked surprisingly he is told nothing much wrong. He's in hospital at the moment with a blood clot in leg and a infection. Due to his sedantery lifestyle, I've spend years trying to help him, lots of effort, making myself feel extremely down. Now I have given up as I cannot change him. But where does this leave me his carer? I am feeling angry and resentful. I have decided to give him one last chance to change. I think now he is likely as nurse told him to get copd and goodness knows what else. Why should usually the wife do all she can then have the rest of her life nursing them?

your "friend" is the selfish one Book that holiday

Holiday definitely! My husband has Vascular Dementia and Parkinson’s so we can’t have holidays now, it confuses him too much.
Do whatever you want whenever you want, life can turn on a sixpence!

Absolutely not. You do what you want to do. It's your anniversary. My Husband and I are going on a cruise for our 40th. Note no one is offering to.throw us a party.

For my parents 50th I bought them a weekend in a Honeymoon B&B suite. My mum wouldn't share details except that it was the first time they had rose petals in the bathtub!

IMO you should do what you want.,
If the family want a huge party - and are prepared to organise the whole thing and pay for it! - that’s a mite different, but you should definitely have your just-you-two holiday as well.

I think your friend is being selfish as she probably wants to enjoy a party (at your expense!). Do what you want to do, go on that special holiday and treat yourself to a lovely hotel!

I have never enjoyed parties much. I don’t drink (I just don’t like the taste of alcohol) Watching other people getting tipsy isn’t my idea of fun. I prefer small groups of friends or family, not hordes of them.
Enjoy your special holiday. Why should you waste your money on throwing a party you wouldn’t enjoy much? Your friend should mind her own business.

ExD1938 Congratulations. You 2 celebrate how you like

We always have a holiday for special anniversaries birthdays etc because that’s just what we like to do . I’m not a party person so why would I throw a party? That’s just silly to do something you don’t like yourself! Everyone knows that’s how we are and that’s fine. DH is a bit more of a party person but he’s fine with it so that’s ok with me xx

Congratulations EXD38!!! ????❤️?

Unless your friend is ready to pay for the bash, she has no business commenting.

have a fabulous holiday together x congratulations x

Entirely up to you, your anniversary, celebrate how you wish. When my parents celebrated theirs 4 years ago, they decided on a family meal with children and families, so grandchildren and great grandchildren plus their own siblings, both on their own.... about 22 in total but exactly what they wanted. What they didn't expect was the surprise party myself and my brother and my dad's youngest sister organised, they were gobsmacked as they thought they were attending my sister in laws retirement (we'd even decorated the entrance with retirement banners.

Yes you are being selfish.
Well done.
You choose your celebration, and a party is lots of hard work when you could have a relaxing holiday..no competition.
Enjoy! ?

Hi ExD1938, I don't think you are being selfish at all.

My parents celebrated their 60th two years ago, we also have a sizeable family but we are split between the north east and south west of England, We siblings asked our parents how they wanted to mark such a wonderful event and they wanted a quiet celebration too so we set about organising and paying for a close family and friends BBQ in our parents back garden.
We did all the prep, all the visiting family accommodation, all the cooking and all the cleaning up, our parents had a lovely time and it was a very happy day.

Congratulations on 60 years and celebrate it how you want to, if family and friends want something else let them sort it out xx

Not selfish at all, my goodness. Enjoy that holiday and please don’t let anyone make you feel bad about it. Congratulations!

The holiday, every time. Enjoy.

Have a holiday. We try to be away for our birthdays every year. Celebrated my 65th DH 66th on the Greyhound bus to Washington, 66th DH 67TH in the Grand Canyon and when we get to the very big anniversaries we will be somewhere special to us it’s your anniversary and how you spend it is special to you. Happy anniversary

First, my heartfelt congratulations on your 60th anniversary!

To begin with, it's your marriage, your anniversary, your wishes and your choice. By all means, you both deserve to go on holiday and celebrate your wonderful marriage with a special getaway for just the two of you!

If friends and family want to throw a big party in your honor when you get back, they can organize, plan it and pay for it, while you're away.

How can a celebration of something so amazing that you both have achieved, be to do with your friend! I’d laugh Snd not pass comment. Just smile ?

Go for the holiday and have fun. Just a thought though could your friend already have sorted a surprise party out and is now panicking ! - that’s why she may have said it!! You aren’t selfish in any way - so go and enjoy.

60 years married is a wonderful achievement and you should have a holiday to reward yourselves...the family don’t need the reward of a party!