Partner has pics of ex wife on Facebook

Take care your man will get fed up with you trying to get rid of his past life.. You will make things hard for his children too. You chose this chap and he comes with a past. You really do need help to overcome your controlling behaviour .

My DH still has the photo albums from his first wedding in a drawer upstairs. I wouldn't dream of asking him not to keep them. His first marriage and the people in his life then are part of his history and of who he is. Granted I don't have to look at them every day on Facebook. But neither do you. It's easy to sort your settings pm facebook to stop the friend's pictures from popping up on your feed, and you have no reason to go looking for them. And of course he visits his kids in their home!

If he is tagged in another person's FB pics, he can remove the tag himself.

Oh my gosh, don't delete his life! Facebook is a scrapbook, we should be able to keep happy memories even if a relationship is over x

Ok ok ok (yabu your post made me laugh out loud) everyone who hasn’t read the thread and just the first and last post - I am not objecting to any pics of him and his family or kids. I said I felt uncomfortable with seemingly intimate pics of just the two of them on his page. It felt weird. That’s all. Wanted different perspectives which I got. Yes I am insecure and that is the point. Thanks to all those who have posted positive advice and reassurances. Posts that are unduly harsh I would say you’re very lucky to be in a place of high enough self esteem but also in some strange way I’ve taken your comments on board.

If you approached me and asked me to remove pictures from MY Facebook because you didn't like the fact your partner had a past I probably wouldn't. Then I'd probably be making a judgement about you.
I wish you luck sorting through your insecurities, its not much fun feeling like that I'd imagine.
Hopefully it's not too late for your relationship ?

Well I must say I really cannot see your problem at all .
There are photos get over it .
Are you so insecure ?
He is with you the photos are history if my husband asked me to get rid of the photos have I have of my ex I would not do it.

How old are you?
Just keep away from social media

Oh dear, what about his children?
My ex father in law who was widowed met a spinster woman much younger than him and before she would move in with him she insisted he burnt all photographs of his previous life, in front of her. They included photos of his wife, in laws, his grand children, even his own son, some very precious records of the family. He said he "didn't think" of offering them to the family. This was before social media.

It was a huge shock.It isn't normal to do something like that. Offer any photos to those who might really appreciate them then delete those within your own sphere. Photos are what we have as evidence of someone's life.

All too often we are seeing old people dying these days & no recent photo of them for the funeral. Everything has gone on mobiles and probably deleted.

Yabu
You can not wipe out his past and you have hardly been together 5 minutes !
These are not in your face
He does not have it in his wallet (are you going to check now) or under his pillow
You sound insecure
He is with YOU
So if you want to keep him be adult understanding and confident
Some men and women do stupid things and do not see any significance in pictures or those well worn underpants
I had to explain why i wanted a new bed and mattress
It will only be an issue if you make it one
Move on
BTW mine was really sick and called me his ex wife name ...and he hates her ???

For goodness sake I don't see the problem, he is with you now but he has a past life just like you. You need to accept in this day and age people are going to have a past and extended families are the norm.

I have an x, the father of my children. We have a wedding photo with daughter, me, my husband, my x stood one side of me. No one gets upset by it, it is a modern day family photo. We both have photos of us with past partners but life is to short and busy to worry about them. We are in the present.

If you believe him you are being jealous over nothing, don't friend him on Facebook and there will be no problem

You are being very unreasonable and extremely immature about this.
Why should the past be ereased especially as there are children of the marriage? It is part of who he is.
She is in the past. You are his present. Don't embarrass him any further and please apologise for being so silly.

If you think you have something to be concerned over then how about this:- just been sorting through drawers during the installation of new bedroom furniture and found a photo of my OH and his ex secreted away!

I think you would be doing yourself a very great favour if you could accept that your partner had a life before he met you. It is only natural that he and his friends have photos from that time. I don't think it is insensitive at all that they have these.

You had a life too, before you met your partner. How would you feel if he were jealous about that?

Another point is: would you really want to live with a man who was capable of completely ignoring his ex-wife, their children and grandchildren? I certainly would not want to live with such a person.

Fully agree with Notanan2's comments. His ex and the kids are part of his past life and always will be, and they are also part of his friends lives. His past life has made him the person you love today, do you want to change that?

After we married my husband needed to change his email address and used his first wife’s birthday .......

Thank you Camelia3 and to all those who’ve taken a more charitable stance as I am suffering enough thinking about my insecurities and the impact of them. I am taking it all on and in.

What would really be the solution is to come off Facebook as it causes more problems than it does good.
You can only ask this person to take the photo down. But unless you have to view everyday, forget about it. It's a photo that confirms your oh has had a past like you and everyone else.

Mamby Pamby
This could have been me but several years ago. There was no social media at that time but I couldn't cope having 'the ex's' name mentioned at family occasions. I knew I was being unreasonable and immature (I was 45!!) but my own insecurities were overriding common sense. I was imprinting my thoughts on to my new family's and partners behaviour. In reality they were no longer interested in her. Only blessing at the time was that they hadn't any children together. I completely feel for you right now and I'm pleased to hear you are seeking help. His ex was living rent free in my head and no one else's !!! I realise now how close I was to destroying our relationship. I can now laugh a little about it with my now husband and his sister. I think some responses have been harsh but they come from those who are fully secure in their relationship. Don't beat yourself up. Practice believing that you are good for him NOW and be kind to yourself a bit more. Sending hugs ?

I think having a bit of a pang would be reasonable. Agonizing...is unreasonable. I think it's good you are going for counselling. There must be reasons for your strong reaction,.which counselling should help unravel.. in the meantime perhaps try EFT. It can really help with emotional distress.

Your feelings are understandable as it can be such a sensitive situation when you are in love with someone who has had a partner and family previously. However, history cannot be rearranged, no matter how much we would like it to be, neither can we erase it. This must be hard for you but as time goes on I hope you will feel confident enough in your relationship to stop worrying . At the very least your partner is a man who is taking his responsibilities as a father seriously, and has a civil realationship with his ex. A bad relationship would make his life difficult, and impact on you too probably. Life goes forwards not backwards - if you try to do the same, and just stop looking at the pictures that are upsetting you, I hope it helps.

Facebook has a lot to answer for! Close your account and get on with your life, as it's so tempting to keep on looking at it otherwise. Take up a new hobby, and be optimistic about the future with this man. Life's too short to agonise over the past!
Good luck!

You probably won’t like this but...

Your relationship with him seems very unstable if you are unable to acknowledge and celebrate his past as well as his present. The reasons for the breakdown of his marriage have no relevance to you (unless you were one of the reasons). He has children and she is their mother. They were married, they shared a house, they slept together, they shared the joy of the birth of children, they shared friends and jokes and meals. He remains, therefore, in a relationship of sorts with her, and you can’t simply obliterate her from his life. Be glad he chose you, be thankful to her for helping him to become the man you love, and ditch this teenage jealousy thing before it starts to poison the good relationship you have now.

This can feel uncomfortable I know as I’ve been there. Try and turn a blind eye as it will make you miserable. Time changes lots of things and as your relationship develops you will start to see it as his past life hopefully. Wishing you all the best.

There is a line in an old song which goes "I don't care who was your first love, I just want to be your last love."

You should sing this to yourself whenever jealousy and resentment of his past life threaten to overwhelm you and spoil your present life together.

I agree with Notanan that the speed this romance has progressed at may have overtaken the experiencing of each stage which would have made you more confident of his love. Slow down. Could you live separately while you revisit those early days?