Still not met three week old grandson.

The mum could be ‘asleep’ at a mutually convenient time for both parties and let her DH show off his newborn to his parents for an hour on his own? That could be one way of getting round it, perhaps?

" grow a pair" What do you mean? Ignore the wishes of a struggling new Mum to accomodate you? Nice.

Maybe the lady just isn't up to it and feels embarassed by her appearance and physical struggles.

I'm sure things will resolve soon Happygran, I understand you must be itching to see the baby, I think patience and kindness will pay off eventually x

Yennifer

Yes definitely about compromise and give and take.

SirChenjin, thank you. Xx

Of course everyone has feelings, that's why we need to make compromises with each others. New mums feelings are probably just a bit overwhelming at the moment and I am sure patience and understanding are good feelings to have right now x

Greymar

How does depriving family of meeting the little man improve my DIL’s situation?
How would letting us visit for a fifteen minute cuddle make it worse for her?
I don’t think I’m being unreasonable.

Three weeks seems a bit OTT and I can well imagine you’re feeling hurt. Even in the very early days of feeling like you’ve been put through a mangle and then been deprived of sleep for days on end it’s not that hard to find room to have the grandparents round for a quick half hour to an hour visit, acknowledging that both sets of grandparents will play an important role in your child’s life in the coming years - even if you’re not particularly close to your parents or in laws.

All you can do is bide your time and hope that once the postpartum fog lifts she’ll be a bit more welcoming. Congratulations on your new DGC!

That doesn't mean she doesn't want to see the adults. It just means what she is feeling upset about is not having met the baby yet. OP's feelings are perfectly naturally. We are all allowed to feel whatever we feel whether we are the grandparents, the parents or the grandchildren. We can have feelings while still allowing other people to have their feelings too.

Poor lady sleep deprived, hormones running riot ,the indignity of being connected to a breast pump FGS, worrying about baby not latching on, possibly some sense of failure......but still expected to let Grandma bond. No, it's not about Grandma.

Oh don’t be silly of course we want to see our lovely son and dil, I think we are entitled to be enthusiastic at meeting the brand new family member aren’t we?

AGNURSE you really do talk rubbish. OP is not extended family she is the Grandmother.
You talk such insensitive shit sometimes.
You really have no idea or concept how you hurt peoples feelings do you.

I'll second that.

I'm glad you agree Hithere

"Honestly some of the responses here are ridiculous!"

I totally agree

Happygran answered your question with a question of her own, "Why shouldn't she thank us?"; you haven't answered her question.

It is clear they want to see the gc and cuddle. No mention of helping dil and son, or wanting to see them too. That makes the adults invisible according to OP's agenda

I think the first few weeks of a new baby are a bit of an exhausting fog that pass by before you even realise it. You don't need to bond with the baby, you haven't bonding hormones. I don't think she needs to say thank you either if you have already been thanked. Bettter to just let that go or you are just creating resentment. It might be that mum isn't feeling very put together, no energy for housework or getting dressed etc and worried about people seeing her and thinking badly of her. Maybe call and ask of you can do anything helpful like take a meal over or some shopping, make it all about concern for them and being helpful. Don't be surprised if you don't get to hold baby the first few times though, don't even ask, just bring mum a cup of tea or a glass of water and cross your fingers x

How does a GM wanting to cuddle her GC make her d.i.l., the baby's mother invisible Hithere? Why does having her m.i.l. pop round for an hour require her to play hostess?

She doesn't need to "entertain" her m.i.l. all the OP wants is to see her GC for goodness sake. Happygran hasn't said she wants to give her GC a bottle, she just said that the baby is being bottle fed with expressed milk.

And yes, why shouldn't Happygran's d.i.l. thank her for the gifts? Does giving birth equate to losing good manners?

Honestly some of the responses here are ridiculous!

OP,

Your son already thanked you. Why shall dil do the same? You didn't answer my question.

I think you mentioned you wanted to show your kids off as soon as you could.
Your dil is not you. She is not going to do what you did. She is choosing her own path

PECS, really, they loved each other just as much as if they had been with him from day one? I am not doubting you. It is just that I find that difficult to imagine. Mind you that may just be my perspective as my brother and I never loved our own grandparents and I think it is doubtful I will ever love my son's baby now. I appreciate that's my experience and not yours.

However, in the big scheme of things, a few weeks before meeting a grandchild won't make any difference although I know it is hard for the OP

Was your relationship good before the baby was born?

Janeainsworth

Thank you. ?

Hi there

Why shouldn’t she thank us?