Still not met three week old grandson.

Thank you everyone. I will let you know when I’ve had my first snuggle. ?

Thank you dragonfly

Yes it certainly does put things in perspective. All that matters now is that he is here and healthy and even if I have to wait a year to hold him close it doesn’t seem to matter as much now. He is my fifth grandchild ( another due end of May) and I have been blessed with them all. Xx

Happygran - what a traumatic time you all have had. Hope you finally get to meet your new GS this weekend.

So sorry to hear that your grandson has been to hospital. But glad he's on the mend and that you will be seeing him this weekend. Xxx

Happygran bless you. I suspect your little ones illness put everything in perspective. Enjoy your cuddles this weekend x

Hello everyone.

Just an update for you all. We were set to meet our beautiful boy last Saturday but on Friday evening he was rushed into hospital with suspected meningitis.
We have all had a weekend from hell during which he had to undergo a lumbar puncture and aggressive antibiotic therapy, but thanks to their wonderful treatment the doctors and nurses caught it right at the beginning and our little man is now back home, safe and sound.
So, fingers crossed, first cuddles this weekend. My poor family has been through so much.
Thank you for your continued interest if you read this.

I have not read every post, there are too many to keep up with, especially when they turn nasty.
Has the OP ever come back?
Has she met her grandchild yet?

I don’t think it’s a horrible thread at all Sara65 although admittedly there are some very strongly worded comments.
On the whole I think most people are hoping that the mother eventually sees sense, or finds a tiny bit of kindness in her heart to allow a grandmother to visit her grandchild even for a very short while .

When my LO was born i had a horrific start. Stayed in hospital for 7 days. In laws visited twice a day. Before we left hospital, in laws insisted we sleep at our house but come over during the day to theirs. DH tried to say no. They just wouldn't accept it. So he asked me what did i think to which i said no. The compromise was we visited a few times a week. They threw a huge party a few days after we came home from hospital. I was notified not asked if it would be okay. Mil tried to come and take LO to her house to let me “rest”. I refused. Mil would turn up randomly to bathe and show LO off to friends. I gently put a stop to that. LO is 2 years old now. On many occassions i have closed the door on In laws when it comes to LO. I think i was traumatised by their conduct so i have prevented any extra interaction with LO once i got to grips with being a mother. I look back appalled at how they walked over me n dh. In the end, they lost out. So OP, hang in there. Your DIL will come round. She will probably feel sheepish for her behaviour and this will work in your favour. You have every right to feel upset and hurt. An hour to give a cuddle in those early days is so very precious. I am sure your son is appreciating your understanding nature right now and this will again work in your favour. Xx

Silver

I stopped participating a long way back, I think this is a really horrible thread, I pop back every now and again to see if there’s an update, but if there is, I doubt she’d bother to tell us!

Honestly, not everything ends up this way.

The thing is with Gransnet is that it is rather huge now and we all have very different ideas about how we would do things. So when a post pops up like this one then I suppose it’s only natural that there will be a few very strong opinions .

I have had some very good advice and support over the years.

I hope you stick around Silver14

Ha thank you ......I think

In at the deep end then Silver14

Welcome to Gransnet .

I sincerely hope Happygran has finally met her grandchild too.

, this was my first time on this site and first ever post, I thought what on earth have I got myself into! It's support we need like minded people this thread doesn't make me feel good, I hope the lady has walked away and sought support somewhere else!!!!

Happygran1964 Hope you have met your new grandchild. Hope your DIL and Son are settling in to new parenthood. Hope your whole family is happy.

I suspect that you are/would be amazed at how your thread has developed.

Hi All
I am afraid i dont agree with " not having to bond with your grand child " Both my grand daughters are in Canada. The first i was at the birth the second for all sorts of reasons i couldn't get there until Kiara was 5 months old .. i was worried that i wouldn't bond with her as well as i had with her sister but the bond is so strong with both of them Kiara now 9 months listens to me on skype and communicates as well as her sister does. My point is YOU do need to bond with your grand children - they get so much from grand parents. I go to there three times a year and other times we chat every other day to keep the bond. I really hope you get to see you grand son soon but don't worry about bonding it will happen. AND yes your son needs to grow a pair for sure !!!

I also agree with everything Bathsheba has said. I don't particularly like being a part of this type of unfriendly discussion, but I've felt compelled to respond to many of the posts, as I've felt incensed on behalf of the OP, who seems like a very patient, reasonable and caring mother, MiL and GM. Yet, she has experienced a barrage of nasty, unkind responses from some posters. Totally unnecessary and uncalled for. We all have our own views and opinions, but most of us try to make our point without being rude or offensive.

Thank you Bathsheba for articulating so well just what I've been thinking about this thread and GN.

As far as I'm aware, it was another poster, way back, who made the suggestion about the son possibly taking the baby to GM's house, not something the OP had requested. So, all these suggestions about the baby being 'removed from its entire universe' are complete and utter nonsense.

All the OP reasonably wants is to see her GC for the first time. It really isn't much to ask, especially after 4 weeks.

Op if you do come back and read your thread I do very much hope you’ve met your grandchild by now. I have only tried to highlight that I can see your dils perspective somewhat but overall I place a lot of weight on a grandparents role in a child’s life and I absolutely empathise with you not being able to see your new family member. I hope it all becomes a distant memory for you soon. All the best

Sorry but it’s absolute madness to suggest a newborn is taken from what is clearly an unwilling (to be seperated) mum to see a grandparent. I have great sympathy for op, I really do and if mum was ok with a small separation that would be great, but she’s onviously not and to judge her for this is out of line And clearly selfish. Those instincts to be physically close to your baby are incredibly powerful and I hope op doesn’t push for this or she may find herself on the sidelines forever more.

Ready to be told I’m taking nonsense and mocked but reading those posts and thinking about being pressured to let my baby leave (my first anyway!) the house without me was quite upsetting. I’d have been inconsolable especially 4 weeks in.

Thanks for answering my question!

Hithere For all those posters who say it is not fair

What did you reply to your kids when they were asking for a toy another kid had?
Or they wanted the same piece of clothing that their friends had?
Same sneakers in fashion?

What did you reply to them?

Pretty much what most parents reply, you're not your friends. But and this is a big but, this scenario is more akin to you give one of your children a bicycle, pony, and computer and tell your other child it's getting nothing. If you really wouldn't expect justified cries of "it isn't fair" then it's you living in cloud cuckoo land! Both grandmothers are exactly the same relation to the new baby and the OP is just stating she's sad it's been so long and she still hasn't seen the new baby in real life. If she wasn't eager to see her new grandchild ( and remember she has other grandchildren) she'd likely be accused of inconsistency and be criticised for that!!

Because newborns are well known for their grasp of object permanence I’m sure it will be totally comfortable with being removed from its entire universe to again, please extended family

Are you on glue OutsideDave? Here, have these. You need them.

Well said Chewbacca and Smileless2012 for introducing an element of sanity back into the discussion.
I’m with Bathsheba in being appalled by some of the nastiness shown on here.