Still not met three week old grandson.

March could have severe 4th degree tear for all we know and 'feeding problems' might of been the easiest way to explain not to mention she might be able to keep some dignity.

This is a reasonable assumption, we just don't know, nor does OP.

gillybob here is one of my reference Yes I’ve spent a fortune on Moonpig already lol and bought the pram, not even a thank you except from my son.

Why is it not enough that her son thanks her?

Then this I think by now it would be fine to allow us to spend half an hour with the baby. He is actually bottle fed now and mum expresses as much as she can as well.

Things changed? OP thinks she could do with a half hour, I hope soon.

I hold my hands up high, it was I who made the reference to the 'major issue', but only because it had been mentioned previously by someone suggesting that maybe the new mother may have some problems that the paternal grandparents were unaware of. I, too, agree that medical issues are a private matter, and no one wants to broadcast them to the world. But let's get real here, we're talking about parents, and within most normal families, if there are any serious problems, we tend to tell those close to us, who love and care about us. I guess there are many people here who don't have that kind of relationship with their parents or in-laws ... how sad.

Not to be funny or crude Nansnet, but this DIL could of literally tore from Vagina to arsehole and back up again.
She could have severe 4th degree tear for all we know and 'feeding problems' might of been the easiest way to explain not to mention she might be able to keep some dignity.

Nansnet Yes, in many families it would be shared, I agree. Equally if someone chooses not to fine. Either way it's not a reason to not allow a GP to see their new grandchild is it, and I know we both agree on that

Madgran77, I hold my hands up high, it was I who made the reference to the 'major issue', but only because it had been mentioned previously by someone suggesting that maybe the new mother may have some problems that the paternal grandparents were unaware of. I, too, agree that medical issues are a private matter, and no one wants to broadcast them to the world. But let's get real here, we're talking about parents, and within most normal families, if there are any serious problems, we tend to tell those close to us, who love and care about us. I guess there are many people here who don't have that kind of relationship with their parents or in-laws ... how sad.

Anyway, I think we may have gone off on a tangent here, because none of us know what the reasons are why the OP has not been allowed to meet her grandchild.

You are really milking this thread for all it’s worth, aren’t you Hithere?

Let’s imagine the worst possible scenarios and then insinuate that poor Happygran is guilty of them. Charming

Oh dear. Every time I see that there's been a new post on this thread, I come on hoping it's from the OP and she's seen her GC.

I do hope this happens soon Happygran and you'll let us know.

madgran it’s just a few above, on this page

Oh yes ...I did miss it!

Exactly SueDonim one can never be too careful.

Oh, the slippery slope! Beware of that! I went down the slippery slope with one of my grandchildren and it led to me eating the baby, it was so delicious! Its parents weren’t best pleased but it was their own fault for not putting boundaries in place.

Oh crikey yes Hithere a “slippery slope” indeed . I mean who knows what that first little visit/peep/cuddle could lead to ? An abduction perhaps ?

Or perhaps the reality is that the mother of the baby does not want the fathers family involved in their child’s life at all .

I think some of this thread is terribly sad and some of the comments are almost unbelievable .

I fear we shall never know how this story ended. Perhaps time to stop all the speculation and move on?

Exactly, Billybob

It is a dangerous road we are in. A peep without touching the baby? Holding the baby? Kissing baby? Bottlefeeding? Changing diaper? Taking pics?

What is what grandma wants to do vs what parents want?

What frequency and length of visits would she expect in the future?

A slippery slope for sure that starts with the first visit to meet baby

I think this thread is a prime example of " I used to get along with my ILs (if applies to this case) till had a baby"

I meant a real life peep not bloomin’ video Summerlove Although you probably knew that anyway .

She’s had videos and photos.
So she has had a “peep”.

Just unfortunately not in the way she hoped.

Hopefully she’s met him in person now.

I still don’t think the “hour cuddle” should be taken literally . Much as you would say “I’ll pop in for an hour” doesn’t mean you will be there exactly 60 minutes does it ? Such a shame that the OP hasn’t even been offered a peep of her grandchild .

The words “major problem” were used instead of medical issue, but I took it to mean the same.

madgran it’s just a few above, on this page

The paternal grandparents could of course see the baby without knowing if the mother has a problem; she could stay in bed when they visit with the very normal excuse that she is catching up on sleep. This doesn't need to be drama.

I must have missed the post that said grandparents should be told details of any medical issue Summerlove. I agree , medical issues are a private matter.

If any mother/woman is struggling with some medical issue after birth/in life, surely its up to her to decide who knows this information?
Other family members certainly shouldn’t have rights to that information, unless she chooses to share it.

I’m shocked that it’s suggested that grandparents should be told

Good advice from BlueBelle. How was your relationship with DIL before the baby OP? Yes your son sounds like he’s under her thumb and should be insisting that you’re allowed to visit. Are you close to him?

Curlywhirly, exactly!

curlywhirly yep exactly