To wonder when old age starts

Until November 2018 I was full time carer for my H who had dementia and other health issues, I had help for half an hour a day to shower and dress him and that was all.
I was 81, he went briefly into care (4 months) before he died when I visited 4 times a week.
I felt tired but not old.
Now 82 I feel very old, it would seem while we have something to do we just carry on but then when it is over we crumble and wonder how we did it.
My family still don’t treat me as if I am old, they still think of me as tough old bird.

All this stormy weather we’ve been having has affected my joints and made me feel 20 years older than I am.

A friend, pregnant for the first time at 39, greatly resented being classed as a geriatric mother!
I thought I must be getting old a few years ago, when I realised I knew very little about a great many things.

agnurse I did't realise that at 66 I was officially 'geriatric'
Some days I feel it, some days I feel 10 yrs younger.
DH is 72 in April and still does gardening for 3 others.

Listening to the News the other night, including the latest on the Corona virus, it stated how ‘the elderly’ were at risk. I looked at my husband and said ‘Do you realise that’s probably us now?’ We are in our late 60’s.

It is not being considered old, which we are, but all the baggage that we are then loaded with because we are old.

Yes, some older people are frail mentally and physically, and can be from 60, or not until they are 90, but it is the assumption that old age means being incapacitated, unable to deal with modern technology, need to be patronised.

Say 'old' and the non-old immmdiately stoop to you, mentally and physically and assume you have the mental capacity of a 5 year old.

I would describe anyone 75+ as elderly.
But medically I think anyone over 65 is ‘old’ & more vulnerable to illness.

Monica, I agree with you. When I was in hospital last year, I questioned a new tablet I was given. Oh we give that to all our elderly patients, said the nurse. I was 63! ?

I have come across this recently at a number of different hospital appointments, where I have been considered old.

Apart from odd aches and pains, and the ability to fall asleep anytime of day, I feel pretty much the same as I did 20 years ago, although, I have to admit I don’t look like I looked 20 years ago.

I think there is an assumption implicit in this thread that being 'old' = infirmity and that means that we are guilty of ageism because we, as old people are making that assumption ourselves.

granniechrissie your cousin is working with the old and disabled, or perhaps, just the disabled. What they are not doing is working with the old, without a further descriptor.

As for at what age we are old. I prefer a value free definition based on a life expectancy of 90. 0-29 is young, 30-59 is middle age and 60+ is old.

I am 76. I am old. I am also fit, healthy, leading an active life, doing all sorts of things that younger people do. However I am old. I can never understand why so many people find this an uncomfortable admissin. Do the maths.

In my head i am still 45 but my body tells me otherwise. Up till i was 65 i felt fit and healthy then bang!!!
Issues with my spine hit me, the constant pain and all the medical treatment took their toll on me and somedays i feel physcially like an 80 year old and it reflects on how much i can do and my mood. So i guess it makes me feel old somedays. Not even 70 yet but fearful for the future.

It is possible to admit that you are old when you can still be active, lively and interesting. I am approaching my seventieth birthday and freely describe myself as old – and, of course, to my grandchildren I am ancient, but they still love me. I think elderly applies to those in their mid-eighties and nineties, although it probably depends on the individual's viewpoint as well as their health and well-being. Being old is not a failure and, as Woody Allen famously said, "It's better than the alternative".

My friend 83 and me middle 70s went passed an old folks club the other day we both agreed that was for old people and we d not fancy it ?
I still do nearly as many hours as when I was at work (just don’t get paid)

When we look at it from a medical standpoint, "geriatrics" refers to 65+.

From a personal perspective that may differ. My late great-grandfather refused to go to the local seniors' center. He called it the "Drop Dead Center" and said it was for old guys. He was in his mid-80s.

You're right Hetty. You are only as old as you want to be. My friend, the ultimate moaner, is 70 but acts like she is 90.

When you let it, I suppose (so never, in my case). My Mum, in her eighties, went with her singing group to care homes - to 'Sing to the old folk!'