What is considered reasonable

I sometimes long to be in a position to give them something they really need. A house for example or pay for them to go on holiday.
I can't so I don't but anyway I would hate them to be dependent on us.

My DSister gives, IMO, far too much to her DC so that they expect her to pay. We were invited to a family wedding abroad recently . My sister's DC expected their flights to be paid etc. Dear sis said no they would have to pay that themselves if they wanted to go so they didn't come.
Mine came. They paid their own fares.

We gave a DS an interest free loan once for a house deposit. He bought the property and paid us back as soon as he could afford to. That was very satisfying. It is lovely to be generous but a luxury.

I don't see my family too often as we live in different countries so I tend to treat them when I see them. I'm not in a position to help with large amounts of money though and they don't expect it.

I have lent money in the past - house deposit, car purchase etc - and it has always been repaid. They are now in a position to offer to help me, though so far I haven't needed to accept this.

Whenever we (husband and I) go out with our sons and grandchildren (every other Sunday), we pay for us all for lunch and bowling/play centre/cinema etc.

I see my eldest son and his 2 children after school on Wednesdays, and we take it in turns to pay for play centre and pub meal.

We've helped both sons with money in the past - for holidays and things for the home.

Horses for course - no one single answer, just about 100 billion different ones.

My kids are better off than me these days so hardly relevant for us.

I will always lend to my son, which is not often, as he pays it on the first payday after. My gc, well it depends, as a rule I don't tend to lend them any money as its often for shoes, or festival ticket etc. But I do give as a gift a sum of money at times when I know they are struggling. Recently one of my gc is off work on long term sick. She phones me as usual for a chat and seemed so down, which it turned out when questioned lack of money. So I gifted her £50, I can afford it so why not she hadn't asked.

After being hard up for my whole adult life I now have money to spare (although it has to last for the remainder of my life) It has been a huge pleasure to be able to treat my family to meals out and a short break away and to help out where needed.
I’ve never felt that each child must get the same. Some of mine are well-off but one went through a very rough year where she would have lost her home if I had not helped. I know that the others did not resent this.

I wish there was a 'like' (or better still an 'I agree') button here. Good advice from Daisymae.

KIttymae, as you are out of work then yes it needs to stop and your can't afford. Just say that you are cutting back because of the change in your circumstances.

If you invite them out, then you pay, you are saying you think they would manage without it, you feel they are expecting it now, well I would def stop it if I had an inkling they are expecting it, we have helped our children get on the property ladder and helped out dif ways, but we wouldn’t keep handing over money, they are adults and should stand on their own two feet

Then it needs to stop.

Maybe do it gradually, so they get used to the idea, if you're feeling kind.

I think they would manage without it, I can't really afford it as I'm out of work atm, it's more my husbands money, it's just I sometimes think for my own sanity I need to stop as I feel like they expecting it now

I would consider reasonable, any amount that you were able and willing to give to them.
If you invite them out for a meal then you pay, if you simply say ‘ shall we go out for a meal?’ And they agree, then go halves.
However you have to take into account their financial situation.

I would finance my daughter if I was able, and she would finance me if she could, at different times over the years.

I wouldn't fund an adult child's lifestyle, though.

If you invite them then you pay, same as if you are taking friends out.

Ask yourself what would happen if you dont lend them the money, would their world collapse or would they manage without it?

Can you afford to loan them the money?

Mine have had all they're going to get---house deposits ! One family in Oz and the other here---all working so don't need any more handouts, my job is done.

I think it depends on your funds and your income. I would always lend them some money but they don’t aske these days their better off than me. I always pay for meals out but it’s not regular just birthdays and some times just coffees and sandwiches. They will get my money whatever I’ve got when I’m gone and don’t need it!