Am I being childish to be hurt by this?

Wishing you a happy birthday, nice and safe in your own home. Lots of us are deferring special celebrations because of the outbreak, so next year is going to be fully of jolly catch-up parties. Give yourself permission to be annoyed...then let it go. Think about how you would like to celebrate next time; the where, the how and with whom. Then tell the Family what you have planned.

As a younger Nan still with a parent . I just think they are probably being cautious. There’s so much on tv to say we must self isolate and not visit our older relatives if possible I expect they were worried as there would be quite a few of you together. Why not send a text and say hope they are having a good time and when all this blows over maybe they could arrange something nice for your birthday at a later date ....we’ve postponed lots, even Mother’s Day I got give a bunch of flowers at arms length at the front door and they didn’t stop, but time for that later

Aries63 please stay strong, as healthy as possible and safe. I am sorry you didn’t have the birthday you hoped for but feel you need to stop mixing with your family so freely. You did the right thing. They clearly shouldn’t be trusted so keep the 6feet away.
Good luck!
And 70 is only a number. Save the fun over and assuming you and your loved ones get through, celebrate 71 instead.

Sorry you are in such pain. I dothink that at the first opportunity you should get your medication reviewed and see if there is a way to help your irritable bladder calm down.. Perhaps now is the time to google possibilities. My friend with ordinary arthritis has a morphine patch each month which means that she can still do some light housework and drive her car. without it she would be immobile.

Happy birthday.

I just can’t believe they are going away at all. Taking a long weekend away at cottage in Scotland (or anywhere in fact) is a mind blowingly selfish and dangerous thing to inflict on the community who lives there in these “no travel” times.

So sorry you feel hurt by this. You must feel so isolated. I hope your relatives will phone you and reassure you of their love. So often the hurt we endure has been caused by lack of thought rather than by a deliberate wish to offend us. Hope you feel better soon

I think that it's more the fact that you are disappointed in yourself and with your medical conditions than your family.
You said that the reason that you didn't go was because you were not well and because of the fact that the bathrooms were upstairs and the fact that you don't sleep well would disturb the rest.
Maybe you just also expected that because you weren't going, that the rest wouldn't? Maybe they found out that they couldn't cancel it so easily or if they did, a deposit would be lost that swung it that they wouldn't cancel?

I find that , imo, we have forgotten how to communicate correctly.. to avoid upsets

I don`t think you are being childish, I would feel hurt because I couldn`t go, not for any other reason it is so hard letting go of how we used to be, and being involved with our families.

so I do wish we could learn to communicate so there are less misunderstandings, cos this is how I see this...

lack of clarity... I blame texting! (I jest!)

Yes it’s probably disappointing but I think that most people are going through disappointment at this time. Just because you are 70 isn’t the end of the world! They may have felt their mum was safer at home due to the many ailments she has. They could celebrate when hopefully all this has blown over. Her daughter may have gone because it would have been a big loss in money that was paid. My mother in law ruled the roost putting her needs before all the family because she was old and thought that brought privilege. If it had been me I would have said that I was really disappointed but glad they were able to go. I’m sure aries63 is a lovely lady but she could also take with her that she actually has family that thought about her. I hope she is able to celebrate soon.

Grannyjay the holiday was supposed to be to celebrate *aries63's) 70th birthday.

Thanks for all the kind thoughts.
Please take care and stay safe in these worrying times

When I commented to an elderly friend with many and painful health problems that I admired the fact that she always put on a cheerful face for visitors, her reply was that nobody wanted to visit a miserable old woman. I bear that in mind daily.

I can understand you are upset but reading all the problems you have with pain I am surprised you would want to go anyway. I don’t think I would expect my family to live with what you are going through. You were asked and you rightly said no. Does that mean you expect them to be disappointed and not go? I think I would have said I’m sorry I would love to come but due to my conditions I would only burden all of you and want you to enjoy life. When you are in so much pain you are sadly not easy company and can make others feel guilty. Be strong and put your feelings aside and let them enjoy their lives whilst they can before old age can possibly do the same to them.

Happy Birthday and let all your hurt feelings go. What’s done is done. Just be cheerful when your family see you and they’ll keep coming back.

aries63 Happy birthday. It's understandible how upset you are. ?

Giving your health conditions, I don't understand why your family organised such an unsuitable house for the holiday.
Surely knowing that you have difficulty with stairs etc, they should have looked at more accessible accomodation.

In the current situation, you are safer at home. All those people confined in a car, not good. You have had a lucky escape.

I can't imagine why they thought that would be an appropriate venue for you even without this blessed virus which is disrupting all our lives. I'd be hurt too, so no, you're not being unreasonable. However, you are in a safer place right now, so treat yourself to a bit of pampering however simple.

Happy 70th birthday Aries.

Families! Happy Birthday aries63. Keep smiling, it confuses them.

I agree with your reply SueDomin.

Happy birthday aries63

And Happy birthday from me too Aries

Please self isolate away from those grandsons, and their girlfriends lovely though I m sure they are
I think I have to review my answer as I thought it was a going away trip planned by daughter and you were invited and refused but you subsequent posts speak of it as a birthday treat especially for you and if that’s the case then it’s a different kettle of fish if it was planned for you then when you didn’t accept you’d expect then to say ok mum would you rather do xxxx
What does surprise me is you’re original invite happened at the beginning of the year but have you not spoken about it at all until now the weekend you should be going away, what about packing and timings etc
It all seems vague and full of misunderstandings and misconceptions
I do hope you can have a lovely day anyway

Very best wishes ?

I presumed the daughter was gonna cancel for everyone as it was for your birthday. Like others I’m also surprised they didn’t book something more suitable. I’d be hurt too.

Happy birthday aries63. No you are not being childish. Stay at home and have a glass ??.

Hetty58 what a horrible reply. Just nasty.

Thanks to everyone who has wished me a happy birthday

Yes, Happy Birthday.

Let us celebrate it with you as your family cannot.

I think Aries63 has a claim to having been unkindly treated. Her daughter told her that the weekend would be cancelled if the OP decided she couldn’t go, which might have led to the OP assuming something else would be planned. Instead, the weekend is still on and the OP’s family have been somewhat duplicitous by hiding this from her until the last moment.

As it happens, life has changed and I don’t think anyone should be going away right now.

It’s also pointless to dwell upon it, so I hope having a grumble in GN has helped Aries get it off her chest and she can stay at home knowing she’s doing the right thing.

Happy birthday, Aries*!

Aries 63, yes, I do think you're being childish.

You were asked and decided not to go.

You're 70 with 'arthritis, cervical spondylosis, HMS, and others' yet you have failed to self-isolate - childish again!